is it "cheating" if you have different ingame wifey/gf than irl wifey/gf?

Technically it isn't really cheating if your IRL girlfriend/wife decides to marry someone else in-game.

Because by that point, the relationship is already over.

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Originally Posted by Meowdyj

Not sure how anyone can live like that. Not being against visitation yet we all know what humans end up doing when they're in love and physically attracted to one another. Sounds more like they also have someone else on the side and are for that reason fine with it. A healthy relationship does not require any or even feel the need to wanting multiple persons. The way I was raised and what I see around me with family and friends it's definitely not normal or based on preference to have multiple romantic relationships at once.

Maybe it's different because of culture in other parts of the world? Idk.

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As I said, it's just a matter of perspective and caring about your partner being happy. If he wanted to date someone else (which I have offered to him multiple times) then I'd be happy to let him have that. He chooses to still stay with me because of how he feels about me. My happiness is ultimately what matters to him and having me in his life matters more than just having me to himself and me being miserable.

For the record, I'm also demisexual which is a form of asexuality, so I don't place sex as a high priority in my life. So, maybe others wouldn't be able to resist but for me being in love is an emotional experience rather than a sexual one. I get more fulfillment from having a conversation full of affection rather than having someone be inside of me.

It's okay if you don't get it or see how it could work. That's fine, you don't have to. It's just what works for me and those in my life choose to stay. Could he or I change our minds at some point? Of course. It's a reality that we both have accepted.

As far as cultural differences, all I can really speak on is that I find it to be more accepted here, especially in the past two years. Before I even considered this lifestyle, I found myself finding more people (in FCs, media, etc.) that were engaged in it.

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

I hope this isn’t out of the comfort zone so please don’t answer if it’s too much but…..you ERP with this guy, and your partner is ok with you seeing him IRL but you can’t sleep with him IRL, ok I understand that but……how do you go to see the guy you just did the deed with online and nothing happens between you guys? Isn’t there some chemistry left? A hint of curiosity? If your partner can’t fulfil you because he works a lot, is doing that just with someone online “enough” without ever having a danger of translating to “real life”?

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My previous post will answer some of that.

As far as the other, it's just something my online partner accepts out of respect for my irl and out of respect for me. Does he wish it was different? Of course. But I matter more than that and having me in his life matters more than being able to sleep with me.

Well this is a sad thread.

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

Does he wish it was different? Of course. .

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So he wants to be with you, you know that, and still let them visit despite having a partner Irl already. In my eyes thats kinda weird.

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Originally Posted by Shinkuno

So he wants to be with you, you know that, and still let them visit despite having a partner Irl already. In my eyes thats kinda weird.

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And that's fine if you view it that way and your relationships don't have to mimic my own. Just, it is what it is with mine and the people in my life are accepting of it and still choose to be with me instead of seeking something different. In my eyes, that's all that matters. If it ever changes where one or both want to, then I'd let them go because them being happy is what matters to me. Will it hurt? Absolutely, but it's not my place to hold anyone hostage if they want to leave. As I said, I've offered outs to both and they both would rather stay. Could my feelings change in the future to where I could only want one? Yes. They still would rather stay.

I'm probably not going to answer any further questions on it, just was giving my perspective and I think what I've said already is all that I can really say on it. Wish everyone a lovely day. c:

Obviously, the people who are OK with it are the ones doing it themselves.

HOWEVER, I bet you they wouldn't be OK with their actual IRL partner doing it to them. That's the worst part about this whole situation. I've seen this type of hypocrisy happen in open relationships. It's no different here.

Wait, are we talking about marriage in-game or having an actual relationship with someone in-game?

If the latter, uh...why not get your gf/wife in real life to play with you? If not, sexting is an option. The pixels in this game, mods or not, aren't that titillating.

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

And that's fine if you view it that way and your relationships don't have to mimic my own. Just, it is what it is with mine and the people in my life are accepting of it and still choose to be with me instead of seeking something different. In my eyes, that's all that matters. If it ever changes where one or both want to, then I'd let them go because them being happy is what matters to me. Will it hurt? Absolutely, but it's not my place to hold anyone hostage if they want to leave. As I said, I've offered outs to both and they both would rather stay. Could my feelings change in the future to where I could only want one? Yes. They still would rather stay.

I'm probably not going to answer any further questions on it, just was giving my perspective and I think what I've said already is all that I can really say on it. Wish everyone a lovely day. c:

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Obviously i dont know you or them, but since you know they want more out of it there there is a good chance they just stay around in hoping you break up and them having a chance, and if they ever find a different opportunity to engage in a relationship theyll drop your ingame marriage.

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Originally Posted by ronibosch

Wait, are we talking about marriage in-game or having an actual relationship with someone in-game?

If the latter, uh...why not get your gf/wife in real life to play with you? If not, sexting is an option. The pixels in this game, mods or not, aren't that titillating.

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I'm assuming that it's not about the marriage. It's not even about the pixels! I can't believe I'm having to explain this.

Having someone you're close with in-game, that you interact with in a flirty way, and have an emotional connection with, while being in a relationship with someone IRL, is cheating. Hell, it wouldn't even need to happen in-game! Just a normal chat platform like Discord would be enough.

I feel like people who think it's OK either don't actually care about their relationship all that much, or they think it's only OK if they're the ones who are doing it.

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Originally Posted by BluexBird

I'm assuming that it's not about the marriage. It's not even about the pixels! I can't believe I'm having to explain this.

Having someone you're close with in-game, that you interact with in a flirty way, and have an emotional connection with, while being in a relationship with someone IRL, is cheating. Hell, it wouldn't even need to happen in-game! Just a normal chat platform like Discord would be enough.

I feel like people who think it's OK either don't actually care about their relationship all that much, or they think it's only OK if they're the ones who are doing it.

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Yeah, it's essentially having another relationship with someone, long-distanced.

I'm not afraid to admit that I would be very upset if my partner was talking to someone in that way. Like, I'm right here if you need affection.

If I can't offer that to them anymore, or vise versa, then I'd rather we talk about it. If that doesn't work, then the next best option is to end the relationship.

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

As I said, it's just a matter of perspective and caring about your partner being happy. If he wanted to date someone else (which I have offered to him multiple times) then I'd be happy to let him have that. He chooses to still stay with me because of how he feels about me. My happiness is ultimately what matters to him and having me in his life matters more than just having me to himself and me being miserable.

For the record, I'm also demisexual which is a form of asexuality, so I don't place sex as a high priority in my life. So, maybe others wouldn't be able to resist but for me being in love is an emotional experience rather than a sexual one. I get more fulfillment from having a conversation full of affection rather than having someone be inside of me.

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To offer another perspective:

I'm not demisexual so physical and emotional intimacy have an equally high priority for me in a relationship. I need both from the person I love and my husband would be insulted and hurt if I tried to get either from another man. For you emotional experiences matter the most. Why, then, is your irl man ok with you sharing the thing that gives you the most satisfaction with someone who isn't him? And knowing that being with him makes you miserable? I can only imagine the look on my husband's face if I told him those two things and how painful it would be for me to have caused it. When someone is ok being second priority I wonder if that's because he/she has never been anyone's first priority.

It for sure is by definition, but if the people involved know about everything and are consenting then it is what it is. That's their business xD

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Originally Posted by Meowdyj

Not sure how anyone can live like that. Not being against visitation yet we all know what humans end up doing when they're in love and physically attracted to one another. Sounds more like they also have someone else on the side and are for that reason fine with it. A healthy relationship does not require any or even feel the need to wanting multiple persons. The way I was raised and what I see around me with family and friends it's definitely not normal or based on preference to have multiple romantic relationships at once.

Maybe it's different because of culture in other parts of the world? Idk.

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I agree with this sentiment here. I don't think its healthy at all either, but those couples in that situation can experience that themselves

This feels like a backdoor way of asking "Is ERP cheating."

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Originally Posted by Stormpeaks

Titanmen never stops with his alts does he ? How many alts do you need my guy ? Really makes one wonder how many accounts you pay for monthly just to troll

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He might have troll intentions but even a broken clock is right twice a day. This thread is actually sparking a decent discussion...even if it was by accident.

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Originally Posted by Chloe_Saunders

.... .... Chloe don't you dare say it
......

Don't lie you don't have a gf wifey in real life, if your wasting time making dumb post and not with her, your a jerk.
But you don't

So ya.. If my bf was posting stupid stuff like you do I'd slap him

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I was coming here exactly to say this, so Ty ! :3

ask your partner.

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

Just recently husbando disrespected me for a cat girl, just need to vent.

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well if he's baring his heart out to the catgirl and not you. well....
a shoulder to cry on, is a *beep* to ride on

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

Speaking as someone actively in that situation, my irl knows everything and is accepting of it. He also doesn't view it as cheating. His line is drawn at me going and sleeping with my online partner (physically, however visitation in general is something he isn't against) but whatever happens online is fair game. He has his reasons for it (a majority stemming from him working insane hours and hardly being around outside of a couple hours at night) and doesn't hold it against me that I have another person to fill the needs that he himself has admitted he can't. That doesn't mean he wants to take the dramatic step of just calling off our six-year long relationship, but he loves me enough to know that the point is everyone being happy. He's happy and I'm happy. It's a pretty easy life and has been going on for about a year now.

I also know of several pairs that engage with others online but separate it from their irl relationship. What I mean by that is, in blunt terms, it's just sex. There's no feelings behind it. It's just RP. Who they are as a couple irl isn't reflected by their fake personas.

There's no right or wrong answer here, just a matter of preference and what each person is comfortable with. If you're rigidly mono then yeah, it won't be for you. There's nothing wrong with that either. If you fall more in the middle (where I am because I swing back and forth between wanting one person and multiple), it can go either way. Those who are fully polyamorous won't see an issue at all with that as long as boundaries are respected.

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dang girl. Your life sounds like a doujin xD
I'm happy you both have each other.

Holy mother of oversharing.

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This thread depresses me

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Same.

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Originally Posted by RobynDaBank

Holy mother of oversharing.

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Um. Sharing is caring?

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Originally Posted by hagare

ask your partner.

well if he's baring his heart out to the catgirl and not you. well....
a shoulder to cry on, is a *beep* to ride on

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Yeah……I know what she was attempting, don’t know if she succeeded or not… if she succeeded, I hope it was a hairy guy behind those pixels

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

For the record, I'm also demisexual which is a form of asexuality, so I don't place sex as a high priority in my life. So, maybe others wouldn't be able to resist but for me being in love is an emotional experience rather than a sexual one. I get more fulfillment from having a conversation full of affection rather than having someone be inside of me.

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.... ::: pause as TMM runs off to Wikipedia:::

Huh, so that's what it's called. Going by that link, I guess I'm a sex-indifferent demisexual. Learn something new every day.

No it isn't. It's impossible to cheat on someone with someone in-game as the in-game universe is completely separate. The universe of Final Fantasy 14 is an enthralling one where reality fades away and you can get lost inside for hours quite easily. Having a significant other in the game is so different compared to having a significant other in real life and there is no harm in having both types of relationships.

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Originally Posted by PetThisMiqo

No it isn't. It's impossible to cheat on someone with someone in-game as the in-game universe is completely separate. The universe of Final Fantasy 14 is an enthralling one where reality fades away and you can get lost inside for hours quite easily. Having a significant other in the game is so different compared to having a significant other in real life and there is no harm in having both types of relationships.

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You're gonna find yourself alone some day if you don't at least inform your partner that you have another person, video game or not. It should be entirely their choice whether or not they're comfortable staying with you while you are spending time with someone else.

Also, life update for anyone who cares: Still have both partners in my life and all is well.

The people behind the characters are real. Say all you want about the game being a separate universe, or fictional, ect. But both people are real enough on the other side of the screen. It'd be like talking over the phone except replace phone with computer. Calling it just pixels is just disingenuous.

solid necro ngl i chuckled

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

Also, life update for anyone who cares: Still have both partners in my life and all is well.

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I mean all is well for you. In your story, you are clearly the only person getting what they want. Again, they too are consenting adults, so their suffering is their own fault and not yours. However, the power of simping is strong. Those 2 will hold out for a long time for their hopeless endeavors lmao

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Originally Posted by TomsYoungerBro

I mean all is well for you. In your story, you are clearly the only person getting what they want. Again, they too are consenting adults, so they're suffering is their own fault and not yours. However, the power of simping is strong. Those 2 will hold out for a long time for their hopeless endeavors lmao

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Thank you for your input. c:

If they ever aren't happy they're free to leave with my blessing since my ultimate care is for their wellbeing. They're both aware of this. That's all I can say about it.

Tbh though, I wouldn't want a "simp" in my life, that's pretty boring. I do have standards and can pay my own bills just fine lol.

some of you are way too open sharing information about yourselves on here