So I had some fun with a GM while reporting RMT activity...

What a brilliant way to make bot/RMT reporting less painfully boring! I'm so glad to see this level of commitment from our GMs. I suppose this must be pretty enjoyable for them to respond to as I'd imagine their jobs aren't the most exciting... most players probably don't include much of a message at all, or just "gm fix this, plz ban bots, so sick of this..." etc.

Gotta say that after seeing this, I will most definitely be adding this aspect to my future bot/RMT reports! Thank you for sharing OP :)

lmao! Hilarious! that lightened up my spirits for sure! thanks! :D

bloody epic. good show sir, good show.

From my experience so far when I made a report of me getting kicked out of a dungeon due to strategic issue and try to teach them they got mad at me and scolded me saying I am stupid in Japanese! I am trying to teach and they kicked me!

I was so mad I open the letter to send a wall of text and exactly when and what time it happen and how it happen and what move set we used lol and all that good stuff.....

20 mins later boom a gm replyed to me asking me to rest ensure that those player will be dealt with but of cause I don't want those player to get some heavy hammer or anything so I just told the gm to send them a warning and he say sure it will be done

Their service is just great when you need them they be there

Oh god, I had a nice big chuckle over these.

They be good people :3

... OP... you have inspired me!
I shall now make all of my RMT reports in this fashion!

-feeds cookies!!!- you, sir are brilliant! =D

Ladies and gentle, please take your seats as performance number 3 is about to start. Please see the original post.

I wish I can report but I am getting like 10 spams in 1hr. I need at least 20min filling up reports.

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Originally Posted by MiniTofu

I wish I can report but I am getting like 10 spams in 1hr. I need at least 20min filling up reports.

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I used to get a lot of tells but during the last month or two, the tells have been quite rare. I actually had to wait nearly two days after the first report I posted here to get another and I am online a lot. I was waiting for it so I could report it :P although during case 3 I actually got some others immediately after...I was out of ideas for reports though :/

I love hearing about reports like this. My boyfriend likes to get in character when he submits reports as well. I keep meaning to take the time to do this, but I'm usually in the middle of doing things and don't have time to do so. I often wonder how many of the GMs enjoy getting reports like this and how many find it to be a pain to deal with though.

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Originally Posted by Jayne422

I love hearing about reports like this. My boyfriend likes to get in character when he submits reports as well. I keep meaning to take the time to do this, but I'm usually in the middle of doing things and don't have time to do so. I often wonder how many of the GMs enjoy getting reports like this and how many find it to be a pain to deal with though.

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True, some people like being entertained while they work, others like to simply get to the point and get it over with so they can get to the next one ASAP. It would be nice if we could get some sort of comment from a GM about their experiences with things like this.

You have inspired me! Maybe I will get on reporting RMTs again!

Probably the EU/NA GMs

The English speaking GMs operating in JP data centers are boring as hell, all scripted auto reply messages that makes me think that they didn't bother.

Wow. These are so cool! lol I think the Shakespear ones are my favorite. ^^ Well done, GM's. Well done.

The most glorious thing I've seen today. Good on those GMs. Perhaps I'll start reporting RMTs again as well. If there was some option to attach a file to a report, I'd just point to my entire blacklist.

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Originally Posted by Barboron

Original Post of awesomenes.

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http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/...3/974/clap.gif

I'm on a JP Datacenter server, Masamune. We barely EVER receive RMT spam at all. It's been at least 10 months since I got a tell from one of these... So naturally, when it happens, it's a pretty big deal. I was AFK for a while and when I came back, I had 2 tells from the same person, so I decided to follow your example and put my heart into it. Here's the message I sent:

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Oh woe, oh tragedy. Thal's balls!

It is with great despair that, returning from a short period away from my adventuring career, I discover the echo of sweet nothings lingering from whispers in my ear. With promises of fattening my gil pouch in exchange for a curious otherworldly currency called USD, this foul demon attempts to seduce me. A lecherous discourse. Vilified honey spews from a demon's mouth.

I resist. I must. These voices have no reach upon me. Despite the harpy's creative use of skewed syllables and sounds, I recognize the evil preaches hidden within.

"I denounce thee, demon, let it be known." I cried, as I inscribed the blackened's name in my blackest list and then set forth to write you this missive.

Twelve be with you.

- Inzoum Zimia the Godhand, Master Artisan of Gondwana

-- Report details --

Character to report: REDACTED
World: Masamune
Time: between 7:30 PM GMT+1 and 8:30PM GMT+1
Message:
REDACTED >> Hi =====ШШШ※REDACTED※CОM===== ======<+ 1000K Gil=REDACTED USD +>====== =====ШШШ※REDACTED※CОM===== ======<+ 1OOOK Gil=REDACTED USD +>====== ==Welcome==ШШШ※REDACTED※CОM=====

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EDIT: And I got a response.

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Greetings Inzoum,

Oh, how it pains me to read of this sad day. The demons are rising and their evil spreading over all of Eorzea.. even reaching out to kind and pure souls such as you.

Do not be afraid, my friend. It will be a grueling task, but I have every confidence we can see it to its end, thanks to you. I am honing my weapons and sharpening my wits even as I write. The darkness of night will not help them... I won't rest until their blood is on my hand and their vile voice is but a forgotten memory.

Thank you, Inzoum. If another demon ever tries to corrupt you, make your voice heard again. We will always be here to help you.

We shall prevail.

Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn Demon Hunting team

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Square Enix. Give this anonymous Game Master a raise

You might want to take the gil seller advertisement out of that post...

Gotta love a GM with a sense of humor :D
I have had help from GMs as well, and I am very pleased with their service. ^^

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Originally Posted by chrillix

You might want to take the gil seller advertisement out of that post...

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Indeed. redacted part of the website address, character name and USD "value". I left some characters in, as part of the fun is how they swapped out some letters, numbers and other symbols to bypass spam filters ("skewed sounds")

I love this. So, so much. Thank you for sharing this. It's my new favorite. And to the person who bumped the topic, thank you, too.

My response to this entire thread:

http://img.izismile.com/img/img5/201...ur_mood_27.gif

My thoughts on all those idiot RMT:

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-25049...f-Now-xlnU.gif

FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Dragon Slaying Team

Where can I sign up to be a part of this?

FOR EORZEA!!

So, I take it that I have to start talking like a pirate in my reports to get a response or action?

That's kinda crazy. Seriously.

It was a good read, but....really?

I've always received a generic response for reporting RMT tells. In fact this morning I had another to report, and didn't have the time to get creative, so I just thanked the team for their work and submitted the details and got the usual copy/paste response in return.

It's part of the process. If you use the "Report RMT advertising" feature in the Support Desk menu and submit your report with the "File Report" button, you'll receive a response which you can either "Close" or "Reply" to. Until you close the ticket, you'll keep getting reminders from Support.

Formerly, we'd either have to submit these using the "Ask a question" feature or "Report Cheating", both of which had different procedures and didn't always follow-up correctly. The process has been greatly streamlined since.


While these Game Masters have been amazing sending personalized responses like the ones in this thread, I can imagine this takes up a lot of their time. I'm sure the distraction is very welcome, but we should also respect these people's work time and keep these roleplayed amusements occasional.

Reported 4-5 RMT tells in a normal, concise fashion over the past few days. Then I got bored and thought I would write just a small text in a different fashion, nothing too lengthy. This is what I came up with (corrected a few typos here):

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Captain's Log
Star Date 10245014

We have been hailed via private com by an alien entity. The being attempted to strike a bargain with us. Our universal translator identified the request as an offer to exchange Old Earth artifacts known as USD for sizable sums of our current currency, G.I.L.

Our Ethics Advisor counseled against it and recommends retaliative action.

Godspeed.

- Captain Inzoum Zimia of the S.S. Gondwana


== Report Details ==

Character to report: REDACTED
Time: 8:03 PM GMT+1
World: Masamune
Message:
RMT Message identical to previous

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Here's the response I got:

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Greetings Captain Zimia,

Thank you for contacting this sector's space authorities and sending us your Captain's Log.

The hieroglyphics used by this alien race are indeed rather peculiar ones. We will have them forwarded to our linguistics department and try to confirm the meaning of these riddled signs.

Should the alien creature have been swallowed by your personal black hole (list), you may now try to extract what is left from it, although this may prove to be a rather delicate process. Whatever you do, try not to harm yourself. We recommend maybe sending a rookie member of your Crew in first, since it would be a shame to lose such a fine captain as yourself to a silly incident like this.

Should you encounter any other extraeorzean currency advertisement, we would be pleased if you could inform us about it as well.

Unfortunately, nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad RMT news, which obey their own special laws. At least there is usually an abundane of them.

Don't Panic,

- FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Space Authorities

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This is so much more elaborate than what I expected in return T_T. I feel ashamed and honored both, though I don't know in which order.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Inzoum

Reported 4-5 RMT tells in a normal, concise fashion over the past few days. Then I got bored and thought I would write just a small text in a different fashion, nothing too lengthy. This is what I came up with (corrected a few typos here):



Here's the response I got:



...

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This is so much more elaborate than what I expected in return T_T. I feel ashamed and honored both, though I don't know in which order.

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lol atleast they have a good sense of humor such as yourself inz! ^^

This i find promising!

<Good Job!> on both parts!

Report & reply get's 10 out of 10 !

- Noomy Approves!

Fanastic. Gave me a real chuckle. I'm afraid i've always felt the "copy n paste" responses, but that is just amazing lol. good work for this laugh.

bump cause this is awesome :3