So I had some fun with a GM while reporting RMT activity...

[Barboron]

After receiving a tell about RMT activity last night, I decided to have some fun with the GM when submitting a report. I have just logged back on to see the reply and found it quite funny what had been waiting for me.

So, here's my report (filling in the RMT's name with X just to be sure):

Case 1:

>Dear mysterios GM for the realm,

I submit to you a humble request. In the world of Odin therein lies a beast so foul he dares to tempt innocent people of their financial well being in exchange for a service so impure. I beg of you, grasp your weapon and sleigh this heathen!

Upon completing this quest you shall be granted with 5000 experience points and this old, rusted sword which has little to no value but the mere 2 gil that the local vendors are willing to payfor it's exchange.

Make haste stranger for I feel that as we sit here, such atrocities will persist until the time comes where this felon is laid to rest at thine's hand.

I pray for your safe return, adventurer.

Character to report: XXXX XXXX
World: Odin
Message:

XXXX XXXX >> {RMT Tell here}

I noticed some spelling mistakes on my part

Here was the response from the GM:

>Greetings Barbie,
*
You have our sincerest thanks, o brave soul, for warning us that such a terrible monster was sowing death and destruction in your land.
*
We have taken up our mightiest weapons and our ironclad armor to ride into battle and slay the beast. While we may not know the result until such time as the struggle ends and one of us lays in an ocean of our blood, we have every confidence that we shall return victorious, our armor sullied by the rage of battle but our heart soaring, knowing that once again, justice has been dealt.

As for you, Sir Barbie, if you have inscribed this wretched monster's name upon your list of blackness, know that it is now safe for you to remove it. Indeed, we have undertaken that quest and the vile dragon shall bother you no more, of that you can be sure.

Thank you once again, brave soul. May we meet again when the stars are right and our destiny call for us to ride into battle once more.
*
Regards,

- FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Dragon Slaying Team

If you are out there, brave adventurer, let it be known that word of your deed has spread greatly through the land of Eorzea!

[EDIT: Took out the copy and paste RMT tell >.> free advertising for them, screw them!]

[Edit 2: Looking back again and reading the horrible misuse of words or spelling...thank you to the GM for deciphering my message. My excuse, it was late, or early (around 4 or 5am).]

Case 2:

>Argh G.M.Atey!

I be in search of a scurvy dog to deal with a problematic landlubber.
Ye see, this lily-livered swine be offering gold, gold that comes at the price of one's very soul! He dare tempt any foul wench into exchanging their valuables for this gold.
I ask of ye, if your wits be about you and your stomach be made of wrought iron, go and parley with this scoundrel. Take of him his gold and bury it on an island where no living man shall set foot.
There be no pardon from Admiral Merlwyb for this dog.

Avast! Ye must go and see to this blaggard before he dare release the kraken on our shores!

Character to report: XXXX XXXX
World: Odin
Message:

XXXX XXXX >> {RMT Tell here}

>Good Sir Bar,

What befells? A scoundrel offering gold in exchange for one's soul? We shall have none of that!
We are currently busy fighting the war on gold, and this ungodly swine shall be no exception!

Be sure he will be taken care of by our most worthy warriors.

Godspeed Bar, godspeed.

Aye,

Ye be a man of swift action!

Be sure to keep your keen eyes from port to starboard, watching the horizon for I am sure Davy Jones' locker shall see more come it's way.

Until sea swallows all!

>Thank you for you kind words Sir Bar,

I suspect you to have some connection with the Sahagins... Hail Leviathan!

Until we meet again.

I wasn't expecting that last reply as I understand the GMs have lots of work to be doing. It really made me laugh.

Case 3:

Titled: RMT Advertising -Act 2, Scene 2

O GM, GM! Wherefore art thou GM?
Deny thy RMT and refuse his gold.
Or, if thou wilt not, be but banned my love,
And I’ll no longer be a player.

Character to report: XXXX XXXX
World: Odin
Message:

XXXX XXXX >> {RMT Tell here}

>O Bar Boron,

Shall we hear more, or shall we speak at this?
*
Haveth our most grateful of gratitudes for thyne RMT report.

We take thee at thy word and shall not ask for further information.
*
We understand the serious nature of such advertisements and we would ask you to accept an immediate investigation as a token of our love.

If you have added this player to your list of unloved players, you may now remove this character’s name. You can do this by going to your social tab and selecting the blacklist option. Please select the players name from your blacklist, highlight the players name and select ‘remove’.
*
Once again, thank you for your report and we apologise for any inconvenience caused by this issue.
*
Regards,

- FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Literature Team

At this stage, I am a bit lost for words.

O GM,

I feel I may have been bested on this day.
I sit here, dazed by the words thy has so graciously cast upon thee's response to my call.

Hark! Pause for just a moment, my sweet. For there be yet another. If I may, while graced with your presence, I shall send forth details of his forth coming. Surprised, I am, that another has messaged me so suddenly.

Character to report: XXXX XXXX
World: Odin
Message:

XXXX XXXX >> {RMT Tell here}

>Bar o Bar,

You shall be graced with my presence as I shall slay yet another foul RMT.

Life in Eorzea is but an endless sea of earth shattering dragons, fire breathing demons, and soul stealing RMT... But together Bar, together we shall prevail! Lend me your strength and I shall grant you mine. Together we should fear naught.

Until we meet again. Godspeed.

- FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Adventurer Team

[Garlyle]

that's beautiful

simply beautiful

[NarikoStar]

- FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Dragon Slaying Team

Best part ever. LOL.

[Rath]

Spectacular!

[Fornix]

Ah, luckily the Dragon Slaying Team ensured that Sir Barbie can continue on his ventures safely once more.

[Ghishlain]

And who says GMs don't have a sense of humour =D

[Genesis-xyx]

Love this. Thank you for sharing.

[Elim]

Gave me a good smile. Really love the GMs in this game. It feels like you're talking to real people. All the other MMOs I've played had GMs that were basically bots armed with a grand total of five copy-and-paste responses. Personally I feel FF14's GMs are the best.

The last time I spoke to a GM I think he said good bye to me about five times...or something. lol. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went but it made me chuckle.

[Cyrus-Wallace]

Gotta love the GMs in this game!

[Buff_Archer]

Good reminder that, just like all the players we meet, GM's/moderators/etc are real people too and not just a part of the 'system'.