FF 14 jokes

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Originally Posted by Ruri

Nice thread but where's all the Naul puns/jokes?

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I have Naul (also Nahn) idea about that.

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Originally Posted by Charmin

I always wondered if that was contained to our server or if others did it too? That's Naul I'm really looking for.

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I see Naul puns all the time on Balmung.

"I did naul hit her it's naul true it's bullshit I did naul. Oh hai S mark."

Hard Mode Dungeons

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Originally Posted by Amelia_Pond_Behemoth

PLDs do it with protection.
MNKs do it in different positions.
SCHs let their partner do all the work.
WARs do it in large groups.

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BLMs do it with flair.

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Originally Posted by O-Deka-K

BLMs do it with flair.

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Dragoons can't do it unless they get a raise.

SMN do it while inflicting viruses.

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Originally Posted by Altijacek

Dragoons can't do it unless they get a raise.

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I thought they just liked to poke you from behind.

A variant on a joke already said.

Why do you never hire a dragoon to work for your company?
Because in no time they'll be asking for a raise.

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Originally Posted by Violyre

I asked Jalzahn about atmas one time. He seemed to know a lot, so I asked if he had any himself. He said he did. I asked if I could have some. He said they were back in his homeland with his mother. I didn't quite hear him, so I asked him to repeat. He replied "they're at ma's house.

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http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgzqj7UdD91qd10xu.gif

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Originally Posted by Ruri

Nice thread but where's all the Naul puns/jokes?

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because no one cares about Naul any more

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Originally Posted by Dragoon4life

because no one cares about Naul any more

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id rather fish than fight naul

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Originally Posted by Amelia_Pond_Behemoth

PLDs do it with protection.
MNKs do it in different positions.
SCHs let their partner do all the work.
WARs do it in large groups.

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WHMs need help keeping up.
SMNs love spreading the contagion.
BLMs do it hot and cold.
BRDs do it with noise.
DRGs need help getting it back up.

Why should you never run against Titan in an election?
He'll win by a landslide.

lol dat landslide

Why is there an accuracy cap on Ramuh? Because beard, nuff said.

How many bosses does it take to bring about an apocalypse?

Just one but it requires exactly 1.0 ounces of fatigue...

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So this male lalafell and Elven walk into a bar and the lalafell says:

"I can't seem to land any hot chicks." said the lalafell.

"Oh? Why not?" asked the elven.

"Its sorta personal" The lalafell replies.

The elven then looks over and pats the lalafell on the shoulder. "Too small huh?"

"How'd you know?!" the lalafell exclaims in shock with a deep blush.

The elven just laughs and says "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find one who doesn't mind your small size."

"I certainly hope so. I can't tell you how degrading it can be when I drop my shorts and get laughed out of the inn room."

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Originally Posted by Evangela

A dragoon walks into an orphanage and says raise me please.

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What is a dragoon's favorite song?

"You raise me up"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi4mt40FEkU

Even Maehiro made one!

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Q: There is no Roegadyn within the main group of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Will we ever see one in the future?
A: Maehiro: Yes, you will. They will play a large role.

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Why do Miqu'otes always do bad in school-CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS PLAYING CAT-CH UP!!!

Why did the Elezen get a Lalafell holding a crafting material for lunch - CAUSE HE ORDERED A COKE AND A SMALL FRY!!!

Why did the Roe get mistaked for a rock star -BECAUSE HE WAS ROEG-DYLAN!!

Why did the Lalafell complain at the store -BECAUSE HE WAS SHORT CHANGED!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road - BECAUSE GILGAMESH WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!

Why did the man get lost in the desert - BECAUSE HE WAS NEITHER HYUR NOR THERE!!!!

Why did the Lalafell shopkeeper move to quarrymill -BECAUSE ITS A SMALL TOWN!!!!!

Why was the man rushing from store to store - BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY ELEZEN MORE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!!

I used to let WHM's cleric stance dps in dungeons, until I took an aero to the knee.


A whm, a pld and a drg are walking in sagoli desert when they find a lamp.
They rub the lamp and a genie appears.
"I will grant each of you one wish, what does your heart desire" the genie says.
The whm says " I want an unlimited mp pool!"
"Done" the genie declares and the whm goes off happily spamming holy.
The pld says "I want to have better aoe aggro generation."
"Done" declares the genie and the pld is instantly transformed into a blm who then double flares and goes off with a smile.
The genie now turns to the drg, "What is your wish?"
The drg looks up and says "I am sick of being hit by every aoe in a dungeon run, I wish there was some way that I could avoid getting hit by them."
"Done" declares the genie and the DRG is immediately vote-kicked from the instance.

Friends don't let friends Monk.

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Originally Posted by TouchandFeel

I used to let WHM's cleric stance dps in dungeons, until I took an aero to the knee.

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LOL

This shouldn't be funny but it is...

Who's Diabolos's favorite band?
The Doors

Whats Lalafells favorite food?
Falalafel (falafel)

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Originally Posted by Amelia_Pond_Behemoth

PLDs do it with protection.
MNKs do it in different positions.
SCHs let their partner do all the work.
WARs do it in large groups.

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Monks do it with their fists.

Why do monks always tell the best jokes?
Its because we have strong punchline.

I once brought a lonely Bomb just outside of the Copperbell Mines to the party at The Quicksand. Let's just say that everyone had a blast that night.

FF14 jokes...

hmmm.. let me think.

Personal Housing!



too soon?

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Originally Posted by Ruri

Nice thread but where's all the Naul puns/jokes?

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My server had much more fun with the bear. In Peter Griffin's voice.


Stinging Sophie said it burned when I Phecda. It still made her Melt.

Not ffxiv related but:

Balthier Basched Fran's Ashe using his Penelo at the back if his Vaan

A dragoon walks into a hair salon and asks, "where can I get the shortcut?"

These Dragoon jokes crack me up. Brings a new meaning to loldrg.


Why are there only Lancer enemies and never Dragoon ones?


Because they always defeat themselves.

There's this boy that's about to go to sleep.

Boy - "Daddy, I want you to tell me a story."

Dad - "Oh alright son. Once upon a time there was a Dragoon that surprisingly was alive and kicking.."

Boy - "Daddy, I'm old enough not to believe in Santa Claus anymore. I want a real story!"

What is Ramuh's favorite song to listen to before a fight?

Thunderstruck

A Roegadyn was hospitalized because he had 6 plastic chocobos up his butt. The Doctor told his family his condition was stable.

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Originally Posted by whoopeeragon

WHMs need help keeping up.
SMNs love spreading the contagion.
BLMs do it hot and cold.
BRDs do it with noise.
DRGs need help getting it back up.

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DAMN!
XDDDD

Why is Leviathan so gangster? Because his pants are Sahagin!!

They say that behind Ramuh's beard there is no chin... Only another lightning bolt.

What's a MNK's favorite movie? Greased Lightning.

A SCH and a BLM were about to get into a fight, but the SCH said, "We can't fight here." To which the BLM replied, "Why not"? The SCH said, "Because we are on Sacred Soil." /ba bump tishhhh

A new guy arrives in Limsa Lominsa, walks into the Drowning Wench, and notices a large jar filled to the brim with gil. The man approaches Baderon and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay 1000 gil, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."

"What are the three tests?" asks the man

"Gotta pay first."

So the guy gives him the 1000 gil, and Baderon adds it to the jar.

"OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a coeurl chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old Roegadyn woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her."

"Well, I know I've paid my 1000 gil," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!"

The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.

"Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.

He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- roaring, yelping and growling, then silence.

Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.

"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

So this Paladin and White Mage went to the Quicksand and sit down to let off some steam. The Paladin summons his little puppy minion who sits down near him.

PLD: "OMG. These fucking noobs! I swear if they keep coming to Titan HM with less than iLvl 80, I'll just ditch them and let them all die."

WHM: "I know right? Stupid noobs players need to be uber before attempting anything. I won't even run Coil turn 1 if the whole party doesn't have Zenith weapons and Myth armor. Seriously, noobs these days."

They both proceed to laugh and joke about their superior abilities until an adventurer walked in, went straight to the puppy and lifted its tail. After staring for a few moments, the adventurer scratched his head in confusion, and quietly left.

The PLD & WHM looked at each other, brushed it off and continued to talk about how bad everyone else is.

Soon, another adventurer walked in, went straight to the puppy and lifted its tail. After staring for a few moments, the adventurer scratched her head in confusion, and also quietly left.

Eventually, after 3 more adventurers came in and did the same, the PLD stopped the waitress and asked:

PLD: "What with all the weird people coming in and messing with my puppy?"

WAITRESS: "Well, I'm not sure, but there's been this rumor going around lately that there's a dog in here with two assholes."

Crafters and Gatherers attempting to grind = bots

Why don't WHMs complain about erectile dysfunction?

It'snot a huge deal when you can just cast raise

What's holding Final Fantasy 14 back from its full potencial?








PS3 Limiations.

Haha, get it? Because it's actually true! :D