1) TLDR version: The truth is, we, even in game have had our failures and hardships. Even if it's not seen by other people/npc. Unless you follow them through the failures as well as successes, you'll never know just how "impressive" they are. And that's why other people/npc's can see us as having nearly no hardship.
Long version:
Example (in real life):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSbhYmFEMTA
I follow this guy from time to time. His job is a computer 3d modeler/animator. All this seems awesome and easy. But if you look at the out takes, just one of these tricks can take 5~20 tries before he gets that 1 good take for this video. But to us, via this video, it all seems like he did it in one day. I would hardly call him, from that video, shallow and contrived. I stopped counting how many times I failed "to kill a raven" after the 5th time. But, obviously, to the npc's (and to anyone else that sees me wearing a dalamund horn) it doesn't feel like it. Part of this game, part of any mmorpg, part of the story is what the npc's tell you and the cutscenes. The other part is your adventure with the people you're with. FFXIV was initial designed so you can make your own adventure stories. So we can't simply say "because other's can't see our failures, they don't exist."