"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

Games give choices you can block,ignore etc a person however you would rather not use the system giving. Instead you use the game makers rules to shove your real life normal bs on people making gaming more and more into everone being the same and drone like behavior.
As I said before people cursing at another is heat of the moment, plus could be stressing over real life bs using the game as an escape.

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If your definition of the difference between a "drone" and an interesting person is whether they can be civil or not then you should probably work on your commmunication skills to be honest.

Also, have you considered for a moment that people with different views to you might also be using gaming as an escape, maybe they are getting bullied, or in an abusive relationship and would rather not get the same treatment while trying to chill out?

These types of threads always make me wonder what kind of real-world experiences / background people have had, because people on both sides of the equation always seem so extreme.

Sure, being pointlessly abusive on a video game is gross, particularly if it's just for the satisfaction of harming others.

But on the other hand, frustration is a really common thing, and you run into people venting their frustration in pretty much all aspects of daily public life. It's a fairly normal part of human interaction, so it's weird to hold people to such a bizzarely contrived high standard around it on a video game of all things.

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Originally Posted by Exosapien

Sorry, but did you just tell me that verbally harassing other players is, "the joy of gaming"?

The idea that people should be able to harass others because they "could be stressing over real life bs using the game as an escape" as if the people you're out there verbally harassing could not possibly be doing the same thing. Not. An. Excuse.

Drone like behavior? Everyone the same? What are you talking about? None of what you're saying even makes sense.

You're not special and unique because you cuss people out on the internet. What are you even talking about? Sports? What?

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No i didnt i was saying being different having differnce from different unquie ppl to be around is the joy.

Stop twisting what is said.

I dont sware at people normally but if im under pressure with situations or something it may slip.

All I'm saying is we neee to understand people slip when frustrated and stressed and yell,sware or say things they dont mean out of anger not on purpose.

Things/situations are not black and white. People havebad days, slip ot of frustration or overwhelm emotions.
There is a difference in someone trashy doing it 24/7 and a time to time slip up.

My experience with this game over the last (almost) 8 years has shown that there are multiple communities with varying levels of toxicity.

The worst are this forum and the Facebook groupies. Trolling, rude comments, insults, condescending behavior abound.

Reddit isn't as bad (IMO) as the forums and the Facebook groupies. Though, I know some people will say Reddit is worse.

Then in-game. When I compare the first group to what I actually see in-game it's like night and day. I almost never experience this toxic behavior in-game.

I find that most players like to believe they're open and friendly, but the reality is that, while they may be open to interactions from some people, they generally aren't friendly or open enough to want to handle interactions from most people. Often times this manifests in either coldly ignoring the interaction and hoping that the scary person runs away, or in lashing out and overreacting to the source of this new interaction.

I'm kind of siding with the OP on this one, but I guess this is what an online community is these days, so perhaps this is normal and I'm just a facsimile of Daria.

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

No i didnt i was saying being different having differnce from different unquie ppl to be around is the joy.

Stop twisting what is said.

I dont sware at people normally but if im under pressure with situations or something it may slip.

All I'm saying is we neee to understand people slip when frustrated and stressed and yell,sware or say things they dont mean out of anger not on purpose

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Shhhh you must put up with everyone's bs all the time, they can run down die 10 times never do any mecanics right / waste your time talking for nonsense all the time you have no right to ever call this out or cuss at anyone.
You got better dps than both ur DPS as a tank ? Have fun dude they're enjoying the game and make your experience as great as possible and you can't say anything about it.

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

No i didnt i was saying being different having differnce from different unquie ppl to be around is the joy.

Stop twisting what is said.

I dont sware at people normally but if im under pressure with situations or something it may slip.

All I'm saying is we neee to understand people slip when frustrated and stressed and yell,sware or say things they dont mean out of anger not on purpose

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I'm not twisting what you said at all. We're talking about people flipping out and cussing out strangers because they don't like what they did in a video game.

No one was talking about "being different" from each other.

"we neee to understand people slip when frustrated." It really depends on the situation, and being understanding of that is different than just sitting back and letting people verbally harass us.

Dropping a no-no word once in a while is different than flipping out and harassing other people for making mistakes in video games.

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Originally Posted by Exosapien

I'm not twisting what you said at all. We're talking about people flipping out and cussing out strangers because they don't like what they did in a video game.

No one was talking about "being different" from each other.

"we neee to understand people slip when frustrated." It really depends on the situation, and being understanding of that is different than just sitting back and letting people verbally harass us.

Dropping a no-no word once in a while is different than flipping out and harassing other people for making mistakes in video games.

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Okay sorry I wasn't clear what I meant. I would be more clear but it would get personal.

I will short clear it though, last week somone stole a computer part I order from my front door that was delivered I was really angry about that so I boot up only to get Yelled at in the first alliance raid of the day and Ilmost I said was hello because I had to get up for one minute to grab a pain killer. I almost slipped saying something I didn't mean. Dumb luck that my cat knocked something over that I had to pick up or I would have said it.

Again sorry I assumed.

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Originally Posted by Izscha

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

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Honestly, this has been my experience with most people who set and project high standards around the way others interact or speak. They virtually never hold themselves to their own moral standards, and play 'get out of jail free' cards like using shoddy moral justifications or 'mental illness' any time they're caught out being abusive. Of course, the moment someone else tries to use the same excuse, it suddenly isn't valid anymore. "Rules for thee but not for me". A lot of the time, their moral standards are less about truly being a good person, and more about giving themselves tools to undermine people they happen not to like for other, significantly less justifiable reasons.

It's a team based game, for the most part. You have to pull your own weight; it's okay to slip up sometimes. Harassing someone is a no-go. It only toughens up both fronts.

The problem is mindsets between players. FFXIV doesn't require you to play moderately well outside of Savage, so it's easy to see why some people don't put any effort in. Raise the difficulty and you have another problem with people saying it might be too difficult. You can blame SE in this aspect for trying to bring people together in content that requires coordination. The trust system is the right step. They only need to expand on it.

As for toxicity, you have no idea what's going on in Discord servers. People might be friendly in-game but they definitely aren't in VC. The ToS does a good job of creating that illusion but ultimately reality looks vastly different.