Although quite a wall of text, you do bring up very valid points. I've always been a DD oriented PLD (Hauby +1 at 60; didn't even get Surcoat until 75; forced my LS to use PLD/NINs by "accidentally" showing up that way to end game events; etc).
A couple of points, though:
Raising the hate cap will not significantly change the facts - it will just delay how long it takes for us to start bouncing again. Removal of hate caps will give us a vastly superior edge, not unlike simply raising the cap for us. I like the idea, though.
If cover DID something besides simply occasionally changing the target of a hit, then I'd have used it far more often. Usually, I did it as a joke on the main tank, simply to get him to react and try something else (I did this a lot when I was the only PLD/NIN over the more long standing PLD/WARs I was "competing" with). If cover gave us the chance of absorbing the damage and curing ourselves, THEN I'd probably try to use it a whole lot more often. Or, better yet, cured the person we were covering but gave us the enmity for the cure.
Aegis.... I've had a love/hate relationship with Aegis. I couldn't stand Dynamis before. The time commitment was too huge and the lag was too much for my simple system (back when I tried it). Although I love the idea of consolidating MDT gear into a single item, I agree - MDT isn't that hard to come by now.

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