The Japanese culture probably does discourage people from speaking up against the lead guy, but it's hardly unique to Japan. I remember seeing Sid Meier giving a speech on Civilization mechanics that was completely wrong but who is going to tell Sid Meier he's wrong about Civilization? And since fans like to back the 'expert' that's probably why the said experts are never proven wrong. Nintendo was very late to the whole online thing and I'm sure their fanboys always said 'Nintendo obviously knows something better than you!', but of course now we know they really do not. Not having significant online capability on a console is just a bad idea.
Now back to the original subject. Because anyone can make a laundry list of games that do not have FF14's lag problem, that makes just about everyone more qualified than the entire FF14 development team. You don't have to know how network coding even works. It is sufficient to know that literally every MMORPG out there does not have this issue to conclude that it cannot be very hard to have an acceptable behavior for lag, and FF14's behavior is not acceptable. So the whole 'network is hard' argument doesn't hold water, because no other game had the same difficulty handling such a fundamental part of the game.
A quick note on timestamps. They're definitely not how other games avoid the 'but I dodged that' problem. If you assume the 0.3s interval to pool data is normal for MMORPG (and I'll give SE the benefit of the doubt here), then if you rely on timestamps, that means the server may have to wait up to 0.3s before relaying any information back. After all, the next update with the current client position could be up to 0.3s late, so you can't possibly make the correct decision until then. This means if this is how other MMORPG handled their lag, you can see up to 0.3s (or whatever their interval is) of lag for the same issue as FF14 when you do fail to dodge the AE. Since people obviously still fail to dodge AE some of the time but none exhibits the same lag, this cannot be the case.