Bad Jokes, Rimshots and Punnyness

Okay comedians, now's your time to shine with those bad jokes you always tell that make everyone cringe every time they hear it.

I'll start us off with a bad one:

"Attempting a fate is tempting fate!" *RIMSHOT*

so how many lalafells it takes to screw in a light-blub? Three, Two to stand each others shoulders and one to make sure they don't fall lol....Just a bad joke all away around lol

I remember when Atomos farming became a thing, and the subsequent 1 minute+ to teleport back to a city also became a thing. Someone posted a picture of him/herself telling the most awful puns to the people literally trapped, waiting for their turn to teleport out. The only one I can remember is as follows:

How do you organize a space party?

You planet!

"Today on The Eorzean Eye, there were reports of vandalism in the Black Shroud. The story broke when a foreigner noticed a few branches south of Gridania were bent."

Two Roegaydns travelling together and their chocobos were resting in the woods at nighttime. Suddenly, close to midnight, one of the chocobos lifted it's head and started squawking. One of the Roegaydns opened his eyes and lifted his head off his sleeping mat. "What the hell is that godawful noise? I'm trying to sleep!" he yelled.

"Oh, that's just Bo", said the other Rogaedyn without opening his eyes. "He must have had another nightmare."

"Well if he doesn't shut up soon", growled the other Roegadyn, "I might have to choke a Bo."

When did the old Limsa woman realize she needed to start wearing a bra?

When she noticed how much her breasts were sahagin.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...ps938b86f5.gif

"Did you hear about that Lalafell kidnapping in Gridania's market wards?"

-"Oh no! That's awful!"

"Yeah, but then the kid woke up!"

(i am so bad at jokes, that i had to steal this one.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LlenCoram

I remember when Atomos farming became a thing, and the subsequent 1 minute+ to teleport back to a city also became a thing. Someone posted a picture of him/herself telling the most awful puns to the people literally trapped, waiting for their turn to teleport out. The only one I can remember is as follows:

How do you organize a space party?

You planet!

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Hahaha, that was me;

http://i48.tinypic.com/2eg6x02.pnghttp://i48.tinypic.com/35co291.png


Then there was the time my LS had a Pun war (you may need to view it full size)

http://i46.tinypic.com/33e6k3q.png

Please, sir. Can I have some morbol?

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...xMWR3WGc6uKAnQ

You can understand why Menphina is the lover, shes always on the moon.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Magnesium02

Hahaha, that was me;

http://i48.tinypic.com/2eg6x02.pnghttp://i48.tinypic.com/35co291.png


Then there was the time my LS had a Pun war (you may need to view it full size)

http://i46.tinypic.com/33e6k3q.png

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Brilliance! I wish I had been there.

Rogue, that is amazing. I wish I had thought to do that.

I'm a big fan of puns, I find them very punny.

EDIT: You can't simply be an awesome Whit Mage right out of the box, you have to have class first.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Magnesium02

Hahaha, that was me;

http://i48.tinypic.com/2eg6x02.pnghttp://i48.tinypic.com/35co291.png

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lol yah I remember this, it was very lulzy

Needs moar!!!!

"Now that you've made the items, take them to that Roegadyn. Uwylsing."

"...I will sing? Why will I sing?"

"No, Uwylsing."

"I'm not sure I understand, but I'm not a very good singer."

"/facepalm"

"What time did the world end again?"

"I don't know. I think Twelve o' clock."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...ps4dba68d2.jpg

Two lalafel walk into a bar, the roegadyn trips over it.

Is that bad enough?

A morbol, a roseling and a treant walk into a bar
everyone leaves....


(da-dump-clang!)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rubieus

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...ps4dba68d2.jpg

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An Elezen walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Why the long neck?"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mjollnir

An Elezen walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Why the long neck?"

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The Elezen bursts into tears "Better to be ruled with, better to be eaten with"
The bartender lick his lips "mmmmm long neck" he transforms into a Mindflayer and picks the Elezen's brains.

I have a feeling this thread is going to dragon

That would be Eft up.

We're coblyn together some good ones!

Quote:

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You have to take a class to get a job.

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Terrible. So very terrible.

Puk this, I'm outta here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Obsy

Puk this, I'm outta here.

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I see you walkin' round Limsa with the girl I love, and I'm like "Puk you-ooo-ooo"
I guess the gil in my pocket wasn't enough, I'm like "Puk You" and "Puk her too!"

two lalafells are walking down the road. the first looks at the second and asked "How do you over come your short comings?" the second gets mad and says "Who you calling short?! We are the same height!!"

How much chocobo could a chocobo breeder breed if a chocobo breeder could breed chocobos?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alaltus

The Elezen bursts into tears "Better to be ruled with, better to be eaten with"
The bartender lick his lips "mmmmm long neck" he transforms into a Mindflayer and picks the Elezen's brains.

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......what?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mjollnir

An Elezen walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Why the long neck?"

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http://i.imgur.com/JqFSDrx.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pwnagraphic

......what?

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I was just flaying around.

Sounds like you need to re-colibriate your sense of humour.

Some of these puns are 'Dire....mite' need to come up with new ones

Hyur all so funny!

(Note: pun is based on pronounciation)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Magnesium02

(Note: pun is based on pronounciation)

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(which I'd argue you got 100% right)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Forgo

so how many lalafells it takes to screw in a light-blub? Three, Two to stand each others shoulders and one to make sure they don't fall lol....Just a bad joke all away around lol

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"This just in: A Lala fell while changing a light bulb."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bowen

You have to take a class to get a job.

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Well, its nice to have a job and all, but stay classy!

"Did you hear about the tragic accident when some adventurers tried to stop Dalamud's descent?"

"No, what happened?"

"Someone went up the stairs at the wrong time."

"How bad was it?"

"He was hit for 9999 damage!"

"Wow... sounds like he got... Naeled."

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M7yaAXjTME...yeah_super.jpg

Some of these puns here just make me Shiva...