Friend endlessly stalked and harassed by another player on many characters

Someone I know is being harassed often, and when they ask the harasser to stop, the person doesn't reply, disappears, deletes the character and makes a new one later with a different name to do the same thing.
So blacklisting doesn't work in this case, and they haven't been able to get screenshots effective enough for the harasser to be punished

They considered switching regions to get away from this, but transferring and name changing doesn't help as the lodestone page keeps the same URL ID, so the stalker is able to see where they go to and what their new name is.

What can they do aside from quitting the game? And why does blacklisting not hide a player's entire account?

There is no need for screenshots here. When your friend receives a message like that, just immediately open a support request and complain to a GM with all evidence already collected. In the form you use to contact the GM, your friend will be able to write down what they have been sent, and GM's can verify that on their end.
After a couple of DM's, GM's should end up doing more drastic measures if the harasses continues to try and evade punishment.

Best you can do is open a support ticket until SE elects to actually do more..

Saying that, your friend can also login to the lodestone and just privatize their details, so when they next change name and/or server then it shouldn't be as easy to find, even with the Lodestone ID, since they'll just get an access denied error,

Thank you for the suggestions

They recently added some features to fight this in 7.0:

- Blacklisting is now account-wide (blacklists all their other characters, not sure if it persists after they delete the character or not, I suppose that could be a potential oversight?).

- You can now hide your lodestone information so only certain details can be seen, or so only certain people can see details (such as friends only). Thus allowing you to transfer.

- I believe external websites that track information (ie. damage) about you have opted to respect this privacy feature, but in case they haven't, you should make sure they hide your data as well by specifically registering and configuring it.

- There are features to expel people from FC houses.

- If you contact a GM, they can apply an in-game restraining order to them which, if breached, can result in a more severe penalty. If it is the same overall account doing it, then it should be possible for the GM to still track their account across characters.

Stop reacting. It's that simple. Posting stuff like this on the forums is literally feeding the problem. Bullies stop bullying when their victims don't react.

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Originally Posted by Collin_Sky

Bullies stop bullying when their victims don't react.

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Not necessarily, but it's worth a shot. It's common advice to stop reacting to bullies, but unfortunately some of the deeply pathetic ones (likely ones who would repeatedly make new characters/accounts to harass 1 person all day) have no real point where they choose to stop until someone forces them to, and may use more drastic measures to get your attention. If the harasser has a dumb personal reason for committing the harassment, they may be especially dedicated.

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Originally Posted by Picothea

Not necessarily, but it's worth a shot. It's common advice to stop reacting to bullies, but unfortunately some of the deeply pathetic ones (likely ones who would repeatedly make new characters/accounts to harass 1 person all day) have no real point where they choose to stop until someone forces them to, and may use more drastic measures to get your attention. If the harasser has a dumb personal reason for committing the harassment, they may be especially dedicated.

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Eventually they will stop. Even someone so obsessed will stop once they no longer receive whatever pleasure they get from it.

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Originally Posted by Stylus-

Someone I know is being harassed often, and when they ask the harasser to stop, the person doesn't reply, disappears, deletes the character and makes a new one later with a different name to do the same thing.
So blacklisting doesn't work in this case, and they haven't been able to get screenshots effective enough for the harasser to be punished

They considered switching regions to get away from this, but transferring and name changing doesn't help as the lodestone page keeps the same URL ID, so the stalker is able to see where they go to and what their new name is.

What can they do aside from quitting the game? And why does blacklisting not hide a player's entire account?

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Blacklisting DOES hide a player's entire account now. What are you talking about?

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Originally Posted by LibitIncarne

Blacklisting DOES hide a player's entire account now. What are you talking about?

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Does that only block characters that existed at the time when they get blocked or also every character that gets created in the future?

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Originally Posted by ACE135

Does that only block characters that existed at the time when they get blocked or also every character that gets created in the future?

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It blocks their entire account, so any alts they have or create will be blocked too.

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Originally Posted by Collin_Sky

Bullies stop bullying when their victims don't react.

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This is garbage advice. Ignoring bullies only causes them to escalate whatever it is they're doing.

Bullies do not stop unless the cost of continuing to bully exceeds what they believe it to be worth. Their target either needs to become so inaccessible that bullying them is not worth the effort (this is what blacklisting, etc. is supposed to accomplish), or their target needs to successfully fight back to the point where bullying results in a negative enough outcome for the bully that they, again, decide it's not worth the effort.

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Originally Posted by ArchlordPie

This is garbage advice. Ignoring bullies only causes them to escalate whatever it is they're doing.

Bullies do not stop unless the cost of continuing to bully exceeds what they believe it to be worth. Their target either needs to become so inaccessible that bullying them is not worth the effort (this is what blacklisting, etc. is supposed to accomplish), or their target needs to successfully fight back to the point where bullying results in a negative enough outcome for the bully that they, again, decide it's not worth the effort.

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With all due respect, sir. This is not garbage advise.
It's an online game. There is only so far they can escalate things before they have to take it out the game. And that's when they'll either punch up or give up. But I also recommend stopping reaction to this person. It will remove a lot of power which might remove some of the motivation

I'd like to ask op how they are able to verify there claim about the stalker having multiple accounts? What proof does ops friend have? They do not speak with you when you ask they simply run away. So how can you confirm any of thjs?

It is not suspicious that people target you and untagged you if you notice them. It happens to me in limsa all the time

The real question is: What did you do to that Stalker?

Is it an Ex Friend?
Ex FC Member?
Someone you messed with in a Dungeon, Trial, Raid, PvP?
Maybe someone who you undercut often on the Market Board?
This is a Game, so the Stalking comes from something you did to that Player.

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Originally Posted by Aneshda

The real question is: What did you do to that Stalker?

Is it an Ex Friend?
Ex FC Member?
Someone you messed with in a Dungeon, Trial, Raid, PvP?
Maybe someone who you undercut often on the Market Board?
This is a Game, so the Stalking comes from something you did to that Player.

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I'm not sure that's in any way helpful to him or his friend. It's frankly not his or anybody problem and he doesn't need to justify someone else's actions.

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Originally Posted by Collin_Sky

Eventually they will stop. Even someone so obsessed will stop once they no longer receive whatever pleasure they get from it.

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You're talking like someone that clearly has never been stalked :p
I'm sure your advice will really help them and surely is something they have never considered or tried.

Come hang out with me; I'll keep both of you protected.

The level of mentally disturbed (To put it as correctly as I can), individuals in this game is staggering. If you think that this level of harassment and/or stalking requires a person to have actually done something to that person then think again.
If you delve into the social side of FF, (Club's , Relationships etc...) then the real unhinged come to the surface who do not require anything like this.

Of course, this rotates round to FF being a "Favor the aggressor" friendly game because of the one-sided friend removal, one sided eternity ring, Lodestone ID not changing on world/name change, not being able to confront someone in a remotely aggressive way without breaking TOS etc...

Edit: I only have had the friends list based minor stalking before which eventually went away but I do have close friends who have had way worse happen.

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Originally Posted by ACE135

Does that only block characters that existed at the time when they get blocked or also every character that gets created in the future?

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It blocks the service account, which includes all characters created before and after the blacklist is enacted.

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Originally Posted by Stylus-

Someone I know is being harassed often, and when they ask the harasser to stop, the person doesn't reply, disappears, deletes the character and makes a new one later with a different name to do the same thing.
So blacklisting doesn't work in this case, and they haven't been able to get screenshots effective enough for the harasser to be punished

They considered switching regions to get away from this, but transferring and name changing doesn't help as the lodestone page keeps the same URL ID, so the stalker is able to see where they go to and what their new name is.

What can they do aside from quitting the game? And why does blacklisting not hide a player's entire account?

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In what way are they being harassed?

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Originally Posted by BigCheez

In what way are they being harassed?

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I wonder if they're being repeatedly "bot checked" with random trades. But without any screenshots which are incredibly easy to take, we can't know for certain.

i'm still wondering why anyone should stalk another player ingame.

and i'm also wondering why the stalked should care. not like they are in danger because of that.

Blacklist and report. Even if they delete characters they GMs would know what account they are using.

No one here can do anything for you other than tell you to use official channels.

Also stop asking them to stop. Just blacklist, report, and don't bother engaging. They'll grow bored eventually or have their accounts banned.

It seems like people like to complain about being the center of negative attention more than just blacklisting and reporting.

The game features improvements on blacklisting to address the immediate, and reporting them addresses the longer term.
Do not "try to keep them on your friends list so you can avoid them" or similar. Blacklist and report.

Its ignorant to assume we know whether 'they will grow bored', but if they attempt to persist in some of the loopholes, SE imposes a Temporary Service Account Suspension, which includes " It is prohibited to do this anywhere an expression can be made, such as chat (including Quick Chat in PvP content, macros, and emotes), markers, comments, or titles".

SE FAQ: https://support.na.square-enix.com/f...%20or%20titles.

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Originally Posted by ZephyrMenodora

Blacklist and report. Even if they delete characters they GMs would know what account they are using.
Also stop asking them to stop. Just blacklist, report, and don't bother engaging. They'll grow bored eventually or have their accounts banned.

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Seriously, at this point ONE BLACKLISTING is enough unless the "stalker" has multiple service accounts that they're using to do this.

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Originally Posted by sindriiisgaming

I'm not sure that's in any way helpful to him or his friend. It's frankly not his or anybody problem and he doesn't need to justify someone else's actions.

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If the OP can't answer this question, why does he/she come to the forum and post it here? A stalker doesn't come around the corner and think "Hell YES, that little Lala with the B2 boots is my next target".
In 98% of cases, something has already happened that has led to this stalking. And in most cases, the perpetrator and the victim know each other.
Unless you're a celebrity, there are a lot of sick people around the corner for a lot of different reasons. But I'm assuming that this isn't the case here.
I think that a lot of people use the word "stalker" even though there is no stalking going on. As a misinterpretation.
The best example is someone we all know, Zenos. How many people here in the forums have claimed that he is a stalker and that they've had enough of him?
He's just an NPC and he's never shown up at my door or followed me to stalk me. <sad face>

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Originally Posted by Aneshda

A stalker doesn't come around the corner and think "Hell YES, that little Lala with the B2 boots is my next target".

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That's literally what stalkers do.

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Originally Posted by Aneshda

If the OP can't answer this question, why does he/she come to the forum and post it here? A stalker doesn't come around the corner and think "Hell YES, that little Lala with the B2 boots is my next target".

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This is literally exampled behavior of a stalker. LOL

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In 98% of cases, something has already happened that has led to this stalking. And in most cases, the perpetrator and the victim know each other.
Unless you're a celebrity, there are a lot of sick people around the corner for a lot of different reasons. But I'm assuming that this isn't the case here.

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Doesn't really matter what did or did not happen leading up to stalking occurring, it is unacceptable behavior by any measure of the yardstick.

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I think that a lot of people use the word "stalker" even though there is no stalking going on. As a misinterpretation.
The best example is someone we all know, Zenos. How many people here in the forums have claimed that he is a stalker and that they've had enough of him?
He's just an NPC and he's never shown up at my door or followed me to stalk me. <sad face>

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People may overuse the word, but frankly it is not for you or anyone to decide whether it constitutes stalking, if the behavior is significant enough as to warrant someone considering moving servers and changing names, then the issue is clearly significant enough.

Zenos actually is a stalker, now he is an NPC so obviously it doesn't really matter, but he absolutely does exhibit stalker behavior.

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Originally Posted by Kaurhz

This is literally exampled behavior of a stalker. LOL

Doesn't really matter what did or did not happen leading up to stalking occurring, it is unacceptable behavior by any measure of the yardstick.


People may overuse the word, but frankly it is not for you or anyone to decide whether it constitutes stalking, if the behavior is significant enough as to warrant someone considering moving servers and changing names, then the issue is clearly significant enough.

Zenos actually is a stalker, now he is an NPC so obviously it doesn't really matter, but he absolutely does exhibit stalker behavior.

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But beeing a Stalker and have only exhibit Stalker behavior are 2 different shoes.

I don't understand why so many people don't respond well to this type of thing. I enjoy having stalkers because it's nice to have all the extra attention. Knowing that they can't get their mind off of you is the best part. It gives me a very nice feeling of power and control over them.

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Originally Posted by JimCasey_RF6

I don't understand why so many people don't respond well to this type of thing. I enjoy having stalkers because it's nice to have all the extra attention. Knowing that they can't get their mind off of you is the best part. It gives me a very nice feeling of power and control over them.

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I dunno about that when my stalkers are creeps who can't handle talking to girls and think my politeness and kindness is flirting and an open invitation for relationships. They resort to stalking me when I kindly reject their advancements and such and some have gone to extremes of having multiple accounts. At least blacklisting one character blocks their entire account now when I was harassed by their alts on their same account prior to DT.

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Originally Posted by Rinoa_353

I dunno about that when my stalkers are creeps who can't handle talking to girls and think my politeness and kindness is flirting and an open invitation for relationships. They resort to stalking me when I kindly reject their advancements and such and some have gone to extremes of having multiple accounts. At least blacklisting one character blocks their entire account now when I was harassed by their alts on their same account prior to DT.

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Have you tried being direct and just telling them that you don't want anything to do with them? Some people may take a kind rejection as playing hard to get. It's important to be clear where your boundaries are even if it means having to be a bit rude.

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Originally Posted by JimCasey_RF6

I don't understand why so many people don't respond well to this type of thing. I enjoy having stalkers because it's nice to have all the extra attention. Knowing that they can't get their mind off of you is the best part. It gives me a very nice feeling of power and control over them.

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Okay. My vote for the weirdest comment in this thread so far.
To explain this as seriously as I can, while you personally have the mindset of "power and control" in this scenario, it's important to understand that most other people are not looking for either of these feelings when it comes to interacting with strangers. If anything, being stalked can actually feel like a *loss* of control in most people's perception when you have not been able to stop the stalker.
But aside from that, being orbited by a person who hates you is simply unpleasant for the average person. It's a constant jab of negativity that weighs on the person in question. I hope I am getting the point across that it isn't worth it for most people, regardless of what sense of power or control they might ponder from it.

So when people "don't respond well to this type of thing", that is their right, and I think it's a very understandable reaction. They should certainly be worthy of receiving help from support staff, too - hopefully we at least agree on that much.

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Originally Posted by JimCasey_RF6

Have you tried being direct and just telling them that you don't want anything to do with them? Some people may take a kind rejection as playing hard to get. It's important to be clear where your boundaries are even if it means having to be a bit rude.

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I'd also like to respond to this comment and say that the fault absolutely lies with the stalker here. Even if they believe someone is "playing hard to get", there's nothing that justifies stalking a person, stranger or no. I'd never call the target of stalking "rude" for being direct in their rejection (which many have already done at that point in the interaction), it's really the stalkers who should know better.

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Originally Posted by JimCasey_RF6

Have you tried being direct and just telling them that you don't want anything to do with them? Some people may take a kind rejection as playing hard to get. It's important to be clear where your boundaries are even if it means having to be a bit rude.

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You assume these people are mentally well enough to ACCEPT that you have boundaries and RESPECT them. No one who accepts/respects anyone's boundaries would resort to stalking.

I got stalked by a guy who couldn't comprehend the fact that I have no interest in relationships or being romanticly involved with ANYONE. Confronting him and setting my boundaries aggrevated him and if anything it made it all worse, he left me no option but to block him after which he made dozens of accounts to try and talk to me, first pretending to be someone else. (because anything other than me being his gf was unacceptable and he was already acting as if I'm his gf and he'd get angry if I didn't respond) Then he went after my friends, so it wasn't just me being stalked, but also my friends and unfortunately we had mutuals. I had to leave the game I played together with my friends because he'd spam my ingame mail and would make chars to follow me around and try to get my attention.

He started resorting to telling my friends he's going to game end himself if I didn't respond and that I ruined his life (?) because I was the love of his life...(and I only knew him for a month..) and he kept at it for 4 years with varying levels of 'intensity'. Nonetheless, the experience wasn't nice, I felt immense guilt and kept trying to think if I could've done something better, if perhaps I deserved this but the reality is: No one deserves this. Being nice/friendly to someone isn't the open door to being stalked. Having boundaries or even preferences isn't the greenlight to being stalked.

Reality is, there's alot of desperate/lonely people who are on the unhinged spectrum and don't take a no for an answer. Polite, rude, doesn't matter. Someone well adjusted will be able to handle rejection and it is what it is, perhaps there's better luck out there.

That aside, I've always wondered if somehow there's something I can improve on myself to lessen the risk of it, and it makes sense that the insecure/desperate/lonely types are attracted to nice/kind people rather than someone who is unfriendly/aggressive. I wish I could be like that, but I don't want to be someone I'm not just because someone else is having problems. I try my best to provide closure to people and communicate clearly if there's something that makes me uncomfortable.

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Originally Posted by Rueby

You assume these people are mentally well enough to ACCEPT that you have boundaries and RESPECT them. No one who accepts/respects anyone's boundaries would resort to stalking.

I got stalked by a guy who couldn't comprehend the fact that I have no interest in relationships or being romanticly involved with ANYONE. Confronting him and setting my boundaries aggrevated him and if anything it made it all worse, he left me no option but to block him after which he made dozens of accounts to try and talk to me, first pretending to be someone else. (because anything other than me being his gf was unacceptable and he was already acting as if I'm his gf and he'd get angry if I didn't respond) Then he went after my friends, so it wasn't just me being stalked, but also my friends and unfortunately we had mutuals. I had to leave the game I played together with my friends because he'd spam my ingame mail and would make chars to follow me around and try to get my attention.

He started resorting to telling my friends he's going to game end himself if I didn't respond and that I ruined his life (?) because I was the love of his life...(and I only knew him for a month..) and he kept at it for 4 years with varying levels of 'intensity'. Nonetheless, the experience wasn't nice, I felt immense guilt and kept trying to think if I could've done something better, if perhaps I deserved this but the reality is: No one deserves this. Being nice/friendly to someone isn't the open door to being stalked. Having boundaries or even preferences isn't the greenlight to being stalked.

Reality is, there's alot of desperate/lonely people who are on the unhinged spectrum and don't take a no for an answer. Polite, rude, doesn't matter. Someone well adjusted will be able to handle rejection and it is what it is, perhaps there's better luck out there.

That aside, I've always wondered if somehow there's something I can improve on myself to lessen the risk of it, and it makes sense that the insecure/desperate/lonely types are attracted to nice/kind people rather than someone who is unfriendly/aggressive. I wish I could be like that, but I don't want to be someone I'm not just because someone else is having problems. I try my best to provide closure to people and communicate clearly if there's something that makes me uncomfortable.

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Wow, that guy sounds like a total nut job.

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Originally Posted by Rueby

That aside, I've always wondered if somehow there's something I can improve on myself to lessen the risk of it.

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Be very careful what kind of information you exchange and how much of it. Somehow it became very normalized to have 0 privacy and people have their entire lives visible at all times on media platforms or shout calling it.

Be nice and kind but also keep a safe distance, especially in the early phases.

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Originally Posted by JimCasey_RF6

Wow, that guy sounds like a total nut job.

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Welcome to the world of what most stalkers are actually like, especially those who fixate on someone are pursuing a relationship with. Many women online have had to deal with this, hell my wife had to deal with this. Most stalkers are not in the right mind, and the more persistent ones become increasingly dangerous. Thankfully the recent changes SE has made to player privacy help greatly, but it still isn't always enough and it is still really really weird that even if you blacklist someone you remain on their friends list.

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Originally Posted by Rueby

That aside, I've always wondered if somehow there's something I can improve on myself to lessen the risk of it, and it makes sense that the insecure/desperate/lonely types are attracted to nice/kind people rather than someone who is unfriendly/aggressive.

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Honestly, after years of playing, leading an FC of mainly guys and swerving the advances of numerous male "friends", the only reliable measure I've found is being a hard ass about it. My friends have joked about how icy I can be, but the metaphor about inches and miles has never been more apt than here.

Some general advice: setting a boundary is important, but it isn't enough on its own. Guys like that take "not interested" as not interested right now, and so long as you're nice to them, they delude themselves into thinking there's maybe still hope one day, no matter how emphatic you are. Don't joke, if they hint about it or make comments, shut it down and repeat you have no interest whatsoever. If needs be, distance yourself for a while. It might feel mean, but it's the only they'll get the memo that it's a no-go area with you. Reassert that you're not looking for anything whenever the topic comes up in conversation, and if they tease you about it (which they will, because they want to test your limits) emphasise "no way." If you're too mindful of their feelings and tread around it, they'll think it's a soft refusal and try again.

The same goes for the charmers who threaten suicide. That's not your problem. It's a form of emotional abuse, they're trying to manipulate you and anyone in genuine distress would not make torturing you about it their priority. Back away and block them the minute they try to go there, and if you're that concerned about what they might do, tell their friends, report it to a GM, and move on. Don't give it any air. You're not responsible for their inability to deal with their emotions.

Don't worry about closure and communication if they're not respecting you, your boundaries or your own mental health. If they're making you uncomfortable or ignoring the rules you've laid out, at that point they've shown they don't care about you and you don't owe them anything. Don't let their perceived vulnerability blind you to how their actions are affecting you, and don't be afraid to ghost if needs be; with people like that, sometimes the hard line is the only option. You seem like a kind and thoughtful person, and unfortunately that's something of a siren call to players who would rather use this game as a crutch than deal with their own personal problems.

Oh, and my biggest tip: avoid playing therapist. Wanting to help someone and hear them out is natural, but it rarely goes well. Keep that kind of thing to group conversations.

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Originally Posted by Stylus-

　
What can they do aside from quitting the game? And why does blacklisting not hide a player's entire account?

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Huh? this isn't possible. The new blacklist function = once blacklisted the entire account is blacklisted (including alt characters AND lodestone page) you can't get repeatedly harassed unless it is MULTIPLE service accounts, and trial accounts for this reason and RMT can't whisper so I am not sure if your friend is maybe too paranoid about every new character clicking at them? The stalker may be able to see the lodestone etc but there is nothing they can possibly do in game to stalk (Maybe this is a point of highlight for additional feature in the blacklist unless it's there already) Sorry if I misinterpret something.

I report harassment for less reasons, don't post on forum but in-game harassment. Trust me I had a stalker and changed regions before too. GM kept me in chat to calm me down while they handled the situation. The thing is, YOU cannot report for your friend, your friend has to do it (If I recall the TOS but correct me if I am wrong again!)