I'm feeling really scared to do Extreme content, And i don't know if im ready.

Since i joined FFXIV in 2015, I've always seen extreme raids and trials as the final boss of ffxiv. I saw other people talk about them, and how rewarding it is when you complete it, but as I am slowly finishing EW, I haven't done any extreme trial from any expansion which stems from fear of failure as a healer main and lack of good mechanics in terms of movement. I feel like i'll just make a bunch of mistakes causing a wipe and just make people give up on me and end the trial.

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

Is this a common fear/concern amongst people who rally up for extreme queues. I think I need to get out of my own head but im curious to know what you Eorzeans think.
Happy to chat and encourage discussions centered around Extreme/unreal difficulty.

You won't know if you are up to the task untill you try.
When you are done with endwalker try the EX1 and EX2 and see for yourself. if you join a training group nobody will mind if you fail.

It's common until you just hop in and do it. If you can remember mechanics you'll be fine. And you will remember them after you do it enough. For me, Endsinger was honestly the worst just because I hated watching things on the edge of the arena and remembering mechanics that happened prior, but most of them are fairly scripted and easy to get to down after you spend a couple of hours plugging away at it.

What helped my initial anxiety of it was to just start my own no-pressure learning runs with other people I knew. I hate hopping into PF with potentially volatile strangers, but if I'm with people I know then it's not so bad. Good luck.

EX fights are not that hard honestly. The DPS checks are pretty relaxed and the fights are basically just an introduction to harder content.

Honestly, I've found unsynched Extremes from Stormblood and later to be a good starting point. You still have to respect mechanics in these fights, but they die fairly quickly and you have a health cushion to cover for mistakes while you learn.

Unless you're doing it week 1 it's probably not that scary...

Probably.

I don't have overmelds so I keep putting off jumping into the current endgame content.

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Originally Posted by monochrom

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations.

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You are exaggerating. Blue-and-above parsers are few and far between, even in farming groups where most players have several clears on their belts.

Do it for yourself and no one else. No one is looking at your every move, scrutinizing and hoping you fail.

I'd suggest you Youtube a quick guide, take some broad strokes notes on a note pad or even draw some quick sketches to have a mental image of certain things. (should take you under an hour altogether). Then hop on a learning group or make your own. Just make sure to go with okay gear (i600-i610 lvl).

At least you feel ready for it!

I don't, and I never will!

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

At least you feel ready for it!

I don't, and I never will!

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As someone who recently quit doing hard content. A lot of pressure for me is more so on not messing up mechanics as you get more wipes from a single mistake than DPS checks imo.

If you're the kind of person that gets personally bothered of being a hindrance and you know it takes a huge while to get the patterns to a fight down to a science then I wouldn't recommend it.

But at the very least, definitely give it a try if you feel like you're up for it! EX and Savage raids arent for everyone.

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Originally Posted by NekoMataMata

Unless you're doing it week 1 it's probably not that scary...

Probably.

I don't have overmelds so I keep putting off jumping into the current endgame content.

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That's quite the opposite, people are far more patient and less demanding week 1.

If the OP have anxiety i recommend him to try and do ex day 1 since it's easier to find blind party (nothing worse than doing your first EX with a party that fully know the fight and overwhelm you with one of those awfull macro)

EX fights are easy, my guy. Don't fret too much about it. Look up a guide, learn how to do your rotation (or when to heal), and memorize your role in the dance then you'll be set. As long as you aren't skipping ahead to enrage groups when you've just seen p2, nobody's gonna mind that much about your performance.

You can beat this fight in about 8-9 minutes if your group is good. The fight is 11 minutes. Treat EX like a practice mode for higher end content and it won't seem as bad. That and you're hyping it up too much. Stop it and just jump into a fresh group without worry or make your own and kick naysayers.

As an extra tip, if you choose to look up a guide then focus only on what you gotta do. Make sure you get your stuff right before paying attention to others.

Hm - I get anxiety playing Normal. Forget anything more difficult than that!

Join a blind/fresh prog first. 9/10 the group will be super chill about deaths and everyone is on the same level of inexperience with the fight.

You could also try getting a static together to do old trials from all the expansions, I'm actually a part of one right now and it's been just a fun time even when we die.

You're only going to experience people who are more strict if you go outside of casual static groups/PFs so if you want to avoid it, just don't touch any parse runs or join a hardcore static. You can also usually tell the vibe of the party by how they advertise it.

People will obviously randomly dip from the party and just kinda gotta not take it personally because for all you could know they just burnt their pizza and ran to deal with that. You'll have someone fill the empty spot(s) and go back in or just have to find another party if it disbands.

The party finder is far from Harcore. Once you're there, you'll find that many don't even know what the class does. With that in mind, you can now join a group without fear.

I was also afraid of making a mistake, but after some friends take me, it's clear that it's not at all what I was imagining. They make mistakes, and they make a lot of it, just like you will make mistakes too.

Watch the fight videos, look for a group that is TAG fresh prog. This tag means that everyone is starting the fight progress.

I highly recommend, if you have the requirements, start with the last EX that came out. Although it looks complicated, it's an easy fight. The former aren't really worth trying. In addition to the gear being so high that people ignore mechanics (so you wouldn't learn much), the reward is no longer worth ILVL

Those fights, even future ones, also just become a lot easier with experience. A lot of mechanics are just the same mechanic but with a slight spin to it.

Take the current EX for example, you have untelegraphed party spreads (just spread around the boss according to your assigned position), you have protean waves (basically just a line/cone aoe aimed at you), a cleave that hits 80% of the arena, a donut aoe, a big line aoe through the middle, a knockback into a stack marker and 2 proximity aoes.

All these mechanics have existed in one form or another since Heavensward and the more experience you gain from doing extremes the more quickly you will recognize those same mechanics in future extremes and know how to deal with them a lot faster.

You can basically faceroll your keyboard for your skills/spells as long as you do the machanics. Rarely, very rarely are there tight dps checks or engages in Extremes, but they do make for decent intros into the more difficult mechanics...

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Originally Posted by monochrom

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

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This is a big reason why I was afraid to do Savage the entire time I played. Until recently. I let a friend who liked Savage content talk me into giving a try. I ended up clearing P1S and getting a good first experience with Savage out of it.

Especially as a Healer main, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to pull my weight and keep the party going during any given pull, so I was always afraid that if I took too long to learn mechanics or didn't utilize my kit absolutely perfectly, the more experienced raiders would get angry about it because I was holding them back. Here's the secret though, especially if you're attempting Extremes and Savage through party finder, there is a WIDE spectrum in the quality of players. I've been in groups for EW Ex4 where melee were so obsessed with uptime that they weren't doing mechanics, killing other people in the party. I've been in parties where we discussed strats before the pull that people then did the exact opposite of "because that's just what I'm used to", killing other people in the party. I guarantee you won't be the only person potentially making mistakes, and if they're out there giving it a go, why shouldn't you be?

All of this is to say, you won't know how harder content feels to you until you jump in and do it. You might find the challenge is just what you're looking for! And most definitely you'll get better as you go. My friend had to drag me into Savage way after 6.1 dropped. Come 6.2, I was like "WEEK 1, LET'S DO THIS". I was terrified to mess up even a single mechanic when I started, and now I'm just like "alright so that clearly didn't work, let's try this instead". Potential failure gets less daunting the more you try. Like everything else in FFXIV, a lot of it just comes down to learning the visual language and practicing. The more you see the harder content, the more comfortable you'll get with it, and the less intimidating it will seem.

And if all else fails, you can always decide it's not for you and stop doing it further down the line. There's genuinely no harm in trying. :)

Start from the first 2 Endwalker extremes and make a practice party in PF. It helps to watch a guide in advance so you know what to look for and whether you need to assign positions. Dps doesn't matter until you're trying to clear the fight.

Most importantly, keep trying. You will probably not kill it with your first group. Maybe not even the 5th. The point is to get further into the fight each time.

The hard part is honestly finding a patient group to learn with. Not hopping on it right when the content tier drops really bites you in the behind in this regard, at least if you're going the PF route. Statics are a better choice overall.

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Originally Posted by Syln

That's quite the opposite, people are far more patient and less demanding week 1.

If the OP have anxiety i recommend him to try and do ex day 1 since it's easier to find blind party (nothing worse than doing your first EX with a party that fully know the fight and overwhelm you with one of those awfull macro)

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I mean that might be true but if it's week 1 for that content at the same time as new crafted gear coming out then it's not accessible due to costs. Overmelding newly bought crafted gear on release is expensive, especially if you're going to do it multiple times an expansion.

Someone told me that it's better to wait to grab limited tomestone gear even if it takes a few weeks and then at the least you won't have to overmeld.

If you need help breaking the ice come to me in-game. Extreme, savage are like a dance. When you know the steps everything will be fine. It takes times but it's fun. And you can stop anytime if you're not feeling it.

It's sad if you don't give yourself the opportunity.

I was extremely scared to dip my toes into extreme as well for the first time a few years back. But turns out, it's really fun once you get it down, and now I absolutely look forward to the new ones when to pop up. Extremes are actually very easy once you learn the scripted dance, and now I sort of have been wanting to do whatever the next level is. Not sure if unreal is harder or easier than extreme, but I've also been highly interested in actually getting more involved with savages because extremes have gotten to the point of braindead for me as of late.

I genuinely believe you'll love it if you tried it! You can make your own parties for a while and in the description you can say that you're dipping your toes into extremes for the first time and wanting to play with like-minded folks and put it down as practice and welcoming new comers who also want to get into extremes, or vets welcome if they are willing to help teach. I promise you, there are tons of others out there rocking in the very same boat as you.

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Originally Posted by Atelier-Bagur

As someone who recently quit doing hard content. A lot of pressure for me is more so on not messing up mechanics as you get more wipes from a single mistake than DPS checks imo.

If you're the kind of person that gets personally bothered of being a hindrance and you know it takes a huge while to get the patterns to a fight down to a science then I wouldn't recommend it.

But at the very least, definitely give it a try if you feel like you're up for it! EX and Savage raids arent for everyone.

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I get this Anxiety pretty hard myself.
I just wanna play and enjoy a game, and I want to enjoy it with others. But then you get those that take it way to seriously and pretty much put you down, and sometimes even try to discourage you from playing "Cause your so bad"
I hate that feeling, so I avoid it until a whole expansion later when we get better gear, and those types of people are gone.

I also hate being told to Watch a Video Explaining the fight. Id rather play and learn; from some observations, and to be given tips.
Working together as a group to overcome the challenge and to learn.
Watching vids...there is just TO MUCH information to remember, and ill be looking out for a million things that arnt even suppose to happen yet in the 1st Phase
But if I see it 1st hand in action, I can take the information in better.
I guess Im a Hands on Learner

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Originally Posted by Zanarkand-Ronso

I also hate being told to Watch a Video Explaining the fight. Id rather play and learn; from some observations, and to be given tips.
Working together as a group to overcome the challenge and to learn.
Watching vids...there is just TO MUCH information to remember, and ill be looking out for a million things that arnt even suppose to happen yet in the 1st Phase
But if I see it 1st hand in action, I can take the information in better.
I guess Im a Hands on Learner

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I tend to have the video open when I practice. I never remember it all at first, so I go in with a group, wipe to something and let the video play until it explains why we wiped. If I don't figure something out myself (which is often the case) it makes no difference to me if the answer is given by a party member vs a video.

Players can only explain so much in that space. The context videos provide can be very helpful. MTQCapture does the best of the guides as she takes the time to record the actual fight and does a play by play on major mechs. Her videos helped me get over my initial anxiety of stepping into that tier. There's still the process of learning how to move, but there's less of a chance of getting lost in "what just happened?"

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Originally Posted by monochrom

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

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A lot of people try to fight that fear by watching guides on youtube. Just search [content name] guide. The guides explain all the mechanics and how to tackle them. Don't worry if you forget what the guide said, because it will start to come to you when you are doing the mechanic.

It can reduce anxiety to watch a "sage pov" or "sge pov" clear video of the [content name]. Point of view videos show you how someone clears in real time using your job.

People also join a [Practice] party in Party Finder. The goal in these parties is to wipe and learn and not necessarily to clear, so everyone is in the same boat as you.

Make sure to read the description to see what requirements there are. If it says "watch a guide", then watch a guide. If it says "phase 2" or "part 2" or "mechanic name prog" and you aren't up to those parts yet, it's not recommended that you join them.

When you feel you can get to the boss to the final few % of health consistently, you can join a [Duty Completion] party that says "enrage prog" or "clear party".

If you have cleared and feel comfortable enough to farm it, you can join a [Duty Complete] party.

There are a lot of settings that can help with content like this, such as reducing battle effects for the rest of the party, turning on legacy movement and optimizing keybinds. Muscle memory helps a lot. The fights are mostly a fixed script, so if you just keep doing it, you will instinctively know which mechanic is coming next and be able to react in advance.

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Originally Posted by monochrom

Since i joined FFXIV in 2015, I've always seen extreme raids and trials as the final boss of ffxiv. I saw other people talk about them, and how rewarding it is when you complete it, but as I am slowly finishing EW, I haven't done any extreme trial from any expansion which stems from fear of failure as a healer main and lack of good mechanics in terms of movement. I feel like i'll just make a bunch of mistakes causing a wipe and just make people give up on me and end the trial.

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

Is this a common fear/concern amongst people who rally up for extreme queues. I think I need to get out of my own head but im curious to know what you Eorzeans think.
Happy to chat and encourage discussions centered around Extreme/unreal difficulty.

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You'll never be. You gotta take the risk!

I also avoid the extreme’s and savage, and understand your hesitation, mostly in my case it’s because I am smn on console and am probably the only one in the party with no knowledge of my dps. The anxiety got worse when smn dropped a lot in dps compared to other classes.

I just really don’t like to be kept in the dark if I pull my weight, it’s a weird system only allowing a part of the party to clearly analyse what I am doing but not providing the same system on console.

I still have no clue if I do ok as I have to rely on the off change someone logs my dps and rotation so I can check if I am missing something in my rotation and my dps is not way to low.

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Originally Posted by XmissionsX

I just really don’t like to be kept in the dark if I pull my weight, it’s a weird system only allowing a part of the party to clearly analyse what I am doing but not providing the same system on console.

I still have no clue if I do ok as I have to rely on the off change someone logs my dps and rotation so I can check if I am missing something in my rotation and my dps is not way to low.

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You don't really need to know your damage. Many people don't, actually, but they still clear them.

One of the things you can do is the striking dummy that is released for each extreme and savage. If you unlock Stone, Sky, Sea at Idyllshire then you can unlock the version in Radz-at-Han as well and it is available at Palaka's Stand. It's not going to tell you if your DPS is great, but if you beat it, then there probably isn't a major problem with your rotation or your gear. The more time remaining when you beat it, the better.

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Originally Posted by monochrom

Since i joined FFXIV in 2015, I've always seen extreme raids and trials as the final boss of ffxiv. I saw other people talk about them, and how rewarding it is when you complete it, but as I am slowly finishing EW, I haven't done any extreme trial from any expansion which stems from fear of failure as a healer main and lack of good mechanics in terms of movement. I feel like i'll just make a bunch of mistakes causing a wipe and just make people give up on me and end the trial.

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

Is this a common fear/concern amongst people who rally up for extreme queues. I think I need to get out of my own head but im curious to know what you Eorzeans think.
Happy to chat and encourage discussions centered around Extreme/unreal difficulty.

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I was exactly the same back in HW. eventually i just jumped into Sophia Ex PF prog. and saw that a lot of people in there didn't even put in half the effort i put in lol

i soon realised that they're not even that bad and felt kinda sad that i skipped trying Thordan Ex, Seph Ex, Nidhogg Ex and Midas on release out of some fear of people requiring perfection and me not being good enough.

Ex trials aren't generally that hard. they have low dps checks and can be cleared by people who aren't amazing at the game, or in a group with quite a few deaths. its by design.

PFs labelled as learning parties from start are a good first step; they generally have very low expectations on progression, no one is expecting much out of these honestly. there's a ton of text and video resources out there too. use one or the other (or both) as supplement and just try it out in practice.

as a healer, you generally wanna remember where the damage spikes are, and plan your cooldowns around that. there's timelines out there that give the exact second mechanics and dmg happens, which can help immensely with cd plans.

if you wanna do extreme in endwalker def do Endsinger it is so so easy. The only real challenge is praying to god most the party didnt get knocked off before the mechanic where everyone has to stand in their own puddle, otherwise its basically the same crap from the regular version.
"what about rings" in any endsinger party there should be one guy who can merry-go-round the group thru that mechanic

It's at least as bad as you imagine most likely as the game does nothing to prepare you for doing any kind of high-end content. I've said it before. You are basically told to go from hiking up a steep hill to climbing El Capitan with nothing in between and the only assistance being "wipe until you figure it out, lol). I was in the same boat as you last tier and managed to clear Ex1/2 with FC assistance, but Ex 3 and 4 are certainly on par with early Sav raids. Ex3 especial requires a lot of remembering previous random orders of mechanics that no one can help you with. Even after clearing some of the early Sav last tier, every week still felt like a nightmare of anxiety because if you are doing it in the PF it's a complete crap-shoot because 1 week you will 1 or 2-shot it and the next you will be stuck in PF hell for 2h slowly eroding your sanity.

Some advice; give it a try, but if you find it as mentally draining and anxiety inducing as I do then wash your hands of it. Don't try to force yourself to keep going, it will just make you bitter and resentful and want to stop playing. Also don't listen to all the people here telling you "EX fights are easy, my guy" just to inflate their egos. They aren't, only a small portion of the player-base actually completes that content when it is relevant.

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Originally Posted by Jeeqbit

You don't really need to know your damage. Many people don't, actually, but they still clear them.

One of the things you can do is the striking dummy that is released for each extreme and savage. If you unlock Stone, Sky, Sea at Idyllshire then you can unlock the version in Radz-at-Han as well and it is available at Palaka's Stand. It's not going to tell you if your DPS is great, but if you beat it, then there probably isn't a major problem with your rotation or your gear. The more time remaining when you beat it, the better.

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I easily clear the stone sky sea, it’s just a static fight. If u have the gear (pentamelded crafted) and have a little clue about the correct rotation u easily clear it. It’s a very very very poor substitute for a dps meter, ones in the 2 weeks I get lucky and some guy has parsed my dps and there I can see it’s missing, but it’s very hard to see if I improve.

That said u still have a group where probably everyone sees your dps but yourself.

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

At least you feel ready for it!

I don't, and I never will!

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I havent done current extremes either but im planning to soon so you're welcome to join

Honestly, I have anxiety issues myself and I hate EX in PF.

It's not because it's hard though. I can clear Savage tiers quite comfortably. PF is just a mess. They'll snap at you or each other over honest mistakes yet makes tons of mistakes too. People who are at fault for something will refuse to admit it and try to blame someone who wasn't. And the level of gameplay is depressing. The number of times I've heard the melee who's logging grey, raging over "bad group", or the 2k dps healer pulling the "we need more dps guys" line and it's forbidden from saying anything to them. I have no problem with people not performing their best if they're trying, but PF is the opposite and just doesn't care. Then there's the times you find a group that's actually doing great, they wipe over one mistake, rage and disband and you spend 40 minutes getting a new group.

There are good EX groups, but it's a gamble every time you go in and mentally tiring. Just a fair warning from my own experiences. I'll take Savage in organized groups over "easier content" any day.

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Originally Posted by monochrom

Since i joined FFXIV in 2015, I've always seen extreme raids and trials as the final boss of ffxiv. I saw other people talk about them, and how rewarding it is when you complete it, but as I am slowly finishing EW, I haven't done any extreme trial from any expansion which stems from fear of failure as a healer main and lack of good mechanics in terms of movement. I feel like i'll just make a bunch of mistakes causing a wipe and just make people give up on me and end the trial.

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

Is this a common fear/concern amongst people who rally up for extreme queues. I think I need to get out of my own head but im curious to know what you Eorzeans think.
Happy to chat and encourage discussions centered around Extreme/unreal difficulty.

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Fear of failure is something that people who cannot grow have.

You're going to make mistakes, you're going to fail, and you'll move on and continue. Nobody is expecting perfect play even in farm parties.

EX is a decent jump, can be cleared in due time. My first EX clear took a few days (5-7 hours?) time to clear. But I was also new to the game then too when Garuda/Ifrit/Titan were the only EX's. Highly recommend having at least one person to party up with so parties are a bit more fun instead of you wallowing in your mistakes constantly.

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Originally Posted by Bukachu

I havent done current extremes either but im planning to soon so you're welcome to join

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Kind offer - but I'd be as much use as an ejector seat in a helicopter!

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

Kind offer - but I'd be as much use as an ejector seat in a helicopter!

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you never know until you try!!

Im sure we'll do fine in the end

Offer still stands, poke me in game if you change your mind

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Originally Posted by monochrom

Since i joined FFXIV in 2015, I've always seen extreme raids and trials as the final boss of ffxiv. I saw other people talk about them, and how rewarding it is when you complete it, but as I am slowly finishing EW, I haven't done any extreme trial from any expansion which stems from fear of failure as a healer main and lack of good mechanics in terms of movement. I feel like i'll just make a bunch of mistakes causing a wipe and just make people give up on me and end the trial.

I may be exaggerating but people put a lot of time and practice into perfecting the proper rotations. I feel like i'm up for the challenge, but fear of failure is slowing me down from putting the step forward to try an extreme trial.

Is this a common fear/concern amongst people who rally up for extreme queues. I think I need to get out of my own head but im curious to know what you Eorzeans think.
Happy to chat and encourage discussions centered around Extreme/unreal difficulty.

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I like to look at EX trials as the PvE endgame for most players as this is usually about as high as most people will go. There's no lockout associated with them so there is no sense of urgency when it comes to clears. This also means you don't have to seek out a static, and can join and leave parties at your leisure, though sticking with the groups you do join is usually appreciated.

I understand and relate to your anxiety. I can assure you though that these fights are really fun to do. Personally for me, I grew up on 1-4 players console games, and am accustomed to having to fail multiple times in order to beat a level and boss while you learn what the CPU is doing. Since FFXIV's casual content is designed in a way where clears are still given despite mistakes, I found the EX content to be right up my ally when looking for clears that are more difficult to obtain.

In this content, you will fail. Repeatedly. You will die to someone else's failure. Repeatedly. And you know what? It's ok. The content itself does not reward an abundance of errors, and you will succeed and fail as a team. Most players participating in this content understand this. I won't lie. There are still salty players. Frustration is not a foreign concept. Even in a farm party where clear rates are 90-100%, the frustration then transfers over to crappy RNG. I also won't lie about none of those making any kind of lasting impact on my overall enjoyment with EX/Unreal content.

While you could do an older EX trial unsynced, you are not really going to get a true taste of EX content until you do something somewhat current, where the majority of the mechanics will be taking place. After you finish EW, I would look into the EX versions of these lv90 trials. Look up each one on Youtube, and see if there is one that interests you. Don't worry too much about memorizing the mechanics shown in the video. Most people are hands on learners, and won't figure out the where/when/how mechanic resolution until they are actually doing the fight. I would instead focus on which fight looks like the most fun. Then join a practice party in PF, or if you are comfortable starting one of your own, you can do that as well.

To close, I will say that having fun is the most important thing. Everything will remain ok if you mess up. I would embrace the novelty of the content, as your first time experiences are quite precious and cannot be reexperienced. It is very fulfilling to make mistakes, and improve by learning from them, and then to transfer that knowledge to the next player who struggles as you did. Try not to get discouraged, and push forward when the incline steepens. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Bukachu

you never know until you try!!

Im sure we'll do fine in the end

Offer still stands, poke me in game if you change your mind

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I may do, but you are honestly underestimating how terribad I am!