Trying to find friends to play with for some role tips

Long post incoming:

So I have been playing FF14 for only a few months, started a month before Shadowbringers, and have been having.... a bit of an identity crisis. I started out as a dragoon, first MMO, not very good, having issues in certain boss fights so I ended up switching to a tank.

Tank, at first, felt great. Wasn't dying nearly as much, felt like I was making progress in learning the role. Then I hit 80 and more people within the FC were willing to actually run things with me (have been mostly solo at this point). Runs weren't going nearly as smooth, obviously needed more practice, the critiquing began to happen. No one really asked me to tank at this point and was a bit demoralized after a few weeks of it.

Tried a healer, got astro to 80, ended up hating healing the whole way through and honestly wasn't having fun. I never got any chat rage or anything but it is now a reoccurring joke that I suck at it. Gave that up super quick, general assumption is no one even knows how I got it to 80.

Eden savage comes out, FC sets up a static, seeing as how I am one of the only 80s around, was asked to join. Started as a Gunbreaker, was going ok, learning E1S was actually fun. FC found someone else but they only played tank. I figured, I have a dragoon at 80 still, maybe I should give it another try. Spent so much time actually learning the class, learning how to DPS, essentially just relearning the whole class from scratch again. We have managed to clear E1S several times by now and I am feeling a bit better from it.

Get to tonight, after raid chatter, conversation on running with FC members for dungeons and stuff comes up. Healer main makes a comment about knowing that they have to constantly watch tank HP in dungeons but when they play with me, they have to heal me quite a bit also. I then ask, "Am I really that bad?" out loud on accident and another person chimes in, "yea you suck". Why are you saying this kind of stuff now? Are you just running this stuff with me because you have no other options? Is this why I am not actively asked to do anything with anyone?

Self reflection aside, yea, a little hurt and demoralized. Feel like I haven't really accomplished anything anymore. Don't even really feel like playing with them anymore. So I guess I am just trying to find some other people to play with that are able to observe and tell me what exactly I am not doing right? maybe make a new friend or two that don't make me feel like I am dead weight? Either way, if you made it this far, maybe send or tell or something if you wanted to try a few parties? Otherwise, thanks for letting me vent and listening.

Probably try looking/posting here: http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/312294

or try out the new fellowship system and see if there are groups that you can do stuff with. That aside, its best to play for yourself first instead of others. If you're not having fun doing stuff, you wont have fun with others as that thing most of the time.

Its also possible that your FC mates were just joking so maybe send a tell to some of them if you haven't already.

I'd be happy to play with you and teach you how to tank. I teach a lot of people how to play this game. It's kind of my favorite thing to do in it.

I'm on Ultros (same data center), so we'll have to link up to add each other.

If I can't find you, you can come to Ultros via the Limsa Aetheryte and look me up instead. Leona Valesti.

Watch few guide videos.

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Originally Posted by Lynesse

I'd be happy to play with you and teach you how to tank. I teach a lot of people how to play this game. It's kind of my favorite thing to do in it.

I'm on Ultros (same data center), so we'll have to link up to add each other.

If I can't find you, you can come to Ultros via the Limsa Aetheryte and look me up instead. Leona Valesti.

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I may take you up on that offer ^^ I will try to find you after I am done with work today

I would try out Red Mage!
If you wanted to change worlds I could see about adding you to our FC. They are super nice! I am on Mateus, but I think we are considered congested so might not be able to change....

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Originally Posted by MeanDragon

I would try out Red Mage!
If you wanted to change worlds I could see about adding you to our FC. They are super nice! I am on Mateus, but I think we are considered congested so might not be able to change....

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I appreciate the offer, haven’t quite decided on if I would switch worlds. Do you guys have a fellowship set up?

Good morning,

My suggestion is to find multiple classes you enjoy playing. For instance, I'm from WoW. Being a flexible raider is always handy. Someone who can do 2 roles of the 3 (Tank, heal, or DPS). That makes you more valuable and useful. I've done the same in FFXIV. I like SAM and enjoy healing. I was and still am a WHM main but the static I'm in wants a SAM and healer to fill some times, which is me. I do both. Now, that doesn't mean both have to be extremely geared out to the max. Your current main for your static takes priority but knowing how to play more than 1 role, will help you find a good spot.

Now, as for the rude outburst from the static member, if it was me, I would've left the static and FC. I'm not doing harder content only to be talked down towards nor treated like you're playing with me just because you have to. Neither would I be proud to be having a FC tag on my name that I don't fully enjoy being in. I hate being around those types of people and environments, so I don't surround myself with it. This is my personal opinion though. It is a decision you have to make but someone should've put that person in their place IMO. No one has time for people like that.

Also, here's a couple Discords you should check out if you're not already in them:

The Balance - https://discord.gg/v3Jvc4 - Raid focused and job optimizing. Also, useful for recruitment into FCs and Statics.

FFXIV Recruiter: Savage & Transcendent - https://discordapp.com/invite/mMVbkZx - Static finding focused. Also useful for recruitment into FCs and Statics

FFXIV Reddit - https://discord.gg/ffxiv - Useful for general information. Also good for recruitment to FCs and Statics.

I hope this helps and you find some folks that treat you better. Some people really need a reality check sooner rather than later.

I actually have the balance one! (have been using it extensively for dragoon improvement) but I will be sure to check out the other ones. Thanks for your kind words by the way, I honestly wanted to find a way to vent while looking for ways to improve.

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Originally Posted by SnowGoose

I may take you up on that offer ^^ I will try to find you after I am done with work today

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Do it. c:

I'll be online all day and all night today. Probably until around 3 AM EST. I might be hopping to Behemoth occasionally to see if I can catch you, so if you can't find me, wait a bit.

Well, depends on how friendly your fc mates and how close you are to them (and vice versa), it could be some kind of joke
you know... joke like...
you talk bad to about your best friend directly in front of him/her (especially if he/she ask about him/herself to you),
but praise your best friend to the sky if asked by stranger...

call me naive, but usually if friends said something bad about you directly to you, they have good intentions (which is to motivate you to be better at things)..


but if you still feel uneasy about it, you should ask about it to said persons, to relieve your stress...
by asking directly, you should be able to pass judgement whether you better stay or need to find another circle...