Long post incoming:

So I have been playing FF14 for only a few months, started a month before Shadowbringers, and have been having.... a bit of an identity crisis. I started out as a dragoon, first MMO, not very good, having issues in certain boss fights so I ended up switching to a tank.

Tank, at first, felt great. Wasn't dying nearly as much, felt like I was making progress in learning the role. Then I hit 80 and more people within the FC were willing to actually run things with me (have been mostly solo at this point). Runs weren't going nearly as smooth, obviously needed more practice, the critiquing began to happen. No one really asked me to tank at this point and was a bit demoralized after a few weeks of it.

Tried a healer, got astro to 80, ended up hating healing the whole way through and honestly wasn't having fun. I never got any chat rage or anything but it is now a reoccurring joke that I suck at it. Gave that up super quick, general assumption is no one even knows how I got it to 80.

Eden savage comes out, FC sets up a static, seeing as how I am one of the only 80s around, was asked to join. Started as a Gunbreaker, was going ok, learning E1S was actually fun. FC found someone else but they only played tank. I figured, I have a dragoon at 80 still, maybe I should give it another try. Spent so much time actually learning the class, learning how to DPS, essentially just relearning the whole class from scratch again. We have managed to clear E1S several times by now and I am feeling a bit better from it.

Get to tonight, after raid chatter, conversation on running with FC members for dungeons and stuff comes up. Healer main makes a comment about knowing that they have to constantly watch tank HP in dungeons but when they play with me, they have to heal me quite a bit also. I then ask, "Am I really that bad?" out loud on accident and another person chimes in, "yea you suck". Why are you saying this kind of stuff now? Are you just running this stuff with me because you have no other options? Is this why I am not actively asked to do anything with anyone?

Self reflection aside, yea, a little hurt and demoralized. Feel like I haven't really accomplished anything anymore. Don't even really feel like playing with them anymore. So I guess I am just trying to find some other people to play with that are able to observe and tell me what exactly I am not doing right? maybe make a new friend or two that don't make me feel like I am dead weight? Either way, if you made it this far, maybe send or tell or something if you wanted to try a few parties? Otherwise, thanks for letting me vent and listening.