Removal of names when unfriending someone

Hello there. This is my first post and probably the only post I will be putting on the forums! Due to situations that I have recently been in which involved stalking, I believe that there needs to be a direct change to how adding friends works.

At the current moment, SE cannot remove friends from anyone's friends list simply because it would fall under hacking and invasion of privacy. I believe to fix this idea, there should be a rework of the friends list!

Right now if you remove a friend from your list, your name still remains on their list and they can see when you are online, where you are, use your teleports, etc etc. Even if you have the person blacklisted, they still have full access to you.

I believe that there should be a rework so if you remove a friend from your list, it removes their name from your friends list and your name from their friends list. There should be that two way consent so that more people feel safer and don't have situations with stalkers who used to be friends. While I understand it is an invasion of privacy to remove names from certain lists, I feel that it's even more so an invasion of privacy for you to allow that access to remain when a person has clearly removed you from the friends list for a reason - especially if you are now on their blacklist.

There should never be a situation where a blacklisted person can teleport to your apartment, personal house or FC house simply because you were once their friend. People keeping tabs on you when you no longer wish for them to be in your life or a part of your online experience isn't what many of us signed up for.

I know when I first started the game, I thought FFXIV was like many other MMO's that if one person removed you from their list, both parties were removed. Allowing the person you don't wish to communicate with anymore to keep your name and information on their list is only enhancing cyber stalking and it makes a lot of people feel like they aren't entitled to their privacy while also giving full disclosure to the offending party they wish to be removed from. So this really needs to change and I hope that SE finally understands how many people are affected by such an absurd working of a friends list.

That is scary I had no idea that could happen. That should be fixed someone who is blacklisted never be allowed on your friends list.

I 100% agree with what Kitty has said.

i dont understand the part of hacking and invasion of privacy when it comes to deleting someone from people friendlist, i do understand if you delete someone from your friend list it means you dont want to be as close to them, and blacklisting them means you dont want any contact to them what so ever. so if SE isnt deleting people from friendlist when the other person is deleting them, and forcing people to get together in the duty finder when one of them got the other blacklisted, they should do something about it now. people stalk, harass others. its no news that people want to harm others for just not liking them. i hope this threat gets taken seriously

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Originally Posted by Natama

At the current moment, SE cannot remove friends from anyone's friends list simply because it would fall under hacking and invasion of privacy.

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I'm pretty sure if SE wanted to wipe your friends list, they very well could.
They just don't care to ever do it.

This is downright absurd and creepy. What game doesn't allow you to have your own privacy from players who are creating a toxic and dramatic play environment? "Blacklist them" isn't how you fix things if they can still see you online, follow you around, know every zone you're in, teleport to your personal housing, etc. It's online bullying. You can't just ignore a problem that continually shows up in your playspace.

Like many of us, I play this game to get away from stressors in life. Dealing with them in a fantasy world is not something I would enjoy. I have had issues with people following me in the past, also. I found out the hard way (by moving off the data center, changing a name 3 times and eventually coming back to this server months later) that a person you may have LEFT the server for can still contact you, warp to you and follow you around. If you've been married to them before? Guess what, their ring still works too and brings them right to you even if you've dropped yours. This is unacceptable play behavior and should be taken seriously.

Whether it is a man following a woman, a woman following a woman, a man following a man - genders don't matter. If you are being harassed by someone who is clearly intent on doing it, this should be taken seriously in the gaming environment as I'm sure it would when police get involved outside of it. SE, please take this seriously. Why even have the option to remove someone from your friends list if it's not a 2 sided thing?

I am so, so sorry that you have to go through the exact same thing as me.
Sending you all the support I can through this.

It is really unbelievable that they label it an "invasion of privacy"! You are absolutly right: Where is our privacy? Does us feeling safe and trying to protect ourselves from stalkers and haressers really count so little? Where is our right for privacy?

I said that in my thread about ingame stalking as well, but literally every other game/ game client/ social media side is able to manage this. If I kick someone from my list on facebook, they won't be able to access my page anymore and keep tabs on me.
Why is this not possible in FF14?

When I decide (for whatever reason) to kick someone from my f-list, I want my name removed from that person's one as well. I want them to not be able to watch me, send me moogle mail or teleport easily to whereever I am.

This is the second thread on the forums about this issue. I am sure your GM Team has countless of similiar ingame reports.
Fix this, SE!

That is really creepy! I didn't know either. I hope this gets resolved >.<

Boost this! SE really needs to address this because I have found myself in a similar position where I had a huge falling out with someone and now want nothing to do with them. I deleted them from my friends list, but that doesn't mean I was removed from their friend's list in return. I am honestly uncomfortable with the fact that they can still check up on me to know when I'm online and where I am at in the game. SE you really need to change this so that when a friend is removed it removes you from their friends list as well.

I really wish this thread would get more recognition considering how dangerous of a situation this could turn into. Seems that we are told by Game Masters to make a thread that they completely ignore and continue to not take into account when it comes to their players safety. I was supposed to be sent to a higher GM in regards to the stalking and instead the ticket was simply closed and nothing ever came of it. How is that fair to any player who pays money to a video game to support it? Why do our predators have leniency while the victims suffer in silence while nothing gets done? Come on, SE - ACKNOWLEDGE THIS ISSUE!

This is probably the 4th or 5th thread I've seen about stalking/friendlist issues and it really saddens me. SE NEEEDS to adress this.

When I first started playing back in ARR I played alone and ended up in an FC that turned out to be pretty crazy. They forbade me to hang out with other people I had met (I was in a really bad place when i started playing so my weak mind managed to get manipulated even in a game).
They made me do things to get Gil from someone I had met (wich i paid back fully after I got away from that FC). They ended up stalking me whenever I would try to hang out with some other people.
I don't know how they managed but no matter where I went they always found me, sent me screenshots and asked why i was hanging out with those people. They had an "intervention", pressing me against the wall saying if I wouldn't stop hanging out with them they'd make my live hell.
Now LUCKILY the other people I had met helped me get away from them. The only thing i regret is not reporting them (I was new to the game, reporting seemed complicated and in my head I thought "they maybe didn't mean it like that") and just left things as they were.
Every now and then they kept coming back to stalk me, but the last time i told them if they contacted me again I would report them with the evidence I had. I've changed my name twice and plan on moving servers altho they havn't made any contact in like 2 years so it's fine as it is now.

But enough of me. YES, this seriously needs to be changed by SE. People can laugh all they want "haha how do you get stalked in a game, just ignore them" but depending on ones situation even things happening in a game can affect your mind.

Helluuuuuuuuu

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Originally Posted by JustJon

Hey Natama, it saddens me that you are going through a thing like this and it has no place in a MMORPG and most certainly don't like it FFXIV.

Apologies for contradicting what you are saying, however, even if SE were to implement said features it will not necessarily stop it. I'll assume anyone who would want to stalk anybody and is adamant about it the player search feature is the place for it to happen, granted you would have to be online for yourself to be found I think a stalkers mind would literally not let go of stalkee and consistently keep looking up your name while they are online, thus, still showing your position in the FFXIV world you are on when you are online.

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The issue is that even if I were to change my name - The person still has 100% access to the character name that it's changed to. If you have someone on your friends list - even if they have you blacklisted - it reflects name changes and server jumps. I have just learned even if you transfer off the data server, your name changes to (character unknown - world unknown) Even if you have THEM blacklisted, the same happens. I think even that feature should be changed and instead of a character name for blacklist, it should reflect the character ID just for both parties sake. But the problem is still that SE does absolutely nothing to fix the friend list. I am 100% fine with people knowing I had a character change if it means fully REMOVING my private teleports that they have access to even if they're on my blacklist. That's the part of stalking that bugs me. This person could easily pull up my FC teleport to teleport to it - Which they have. So there is so much more that could be done and prevented - I shouldn't have to fully delete a character because a single person won't leave me alone and neither should anyone else. Sure - ban the crazies. But things still need done by SE to prevent this besides being told the same thing everyone has been told: Go to the forums and make a suggestion. Nothing has been done about this person by the way - even though this person has had at least 5 reports from myself and others about stalking. Like I said in my original post, we are told to basically deal with it and that they would look into the issue and to post on the forums - which totally helps as we can all read. Thanks SE.

This has been an issue for a long time, I ended up transferring dc's to get away from a toxic fc leader. twice. but even though im listed as "character unknown - world unknown" on her fl after removing her from my own fl, she looked up my lodestone info and will always know when i change my name, world, dc's. everything. its scary that i don't have any privacy to my fl or to even have the option to hide my character's server on lodestone. i contemplated deleting this character and starting all over again just so i know they won't be able to find me, but that is two years in the making of MY hard work to be lost over one persons stalking! blacklisting does nothing, as well. blacklisted them and a couple of their friends and they still were able to track me down. PLEASE SE, at least fix the fl/blacklist issue!

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Originally Posted by moregano

This has been an issue for a long time, I ended up transferring dc's to get away from a toxic fc leader. twice. but even though im listed as "character unknown - world unknown" on her fl after removing her from my own fl, she looked up my lodestone info and will always know when i change my name, world, dc's. everything. its scary that i don't have any privacy to my fl or to even have the option to hide my character's server on lodestone. i contemplated deleting this character and starting all over again just so i know they won't be able to find me, but that is two years in the making of MY hard work to be lost over one persons stalking! blacklisting does nothing, as well. blacklisted them and a couple of their friends and they still were able to track me down. PLEASE SE, at least fix the fl/blacklist issue!

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Sounds like you may just want to report them for harassment.
There’s alternative methods too but you may not like ‘em.

Unfortunately nothing has changed as far as removal of names from the "friend's" list. It will never change because frankly SE doesn't care that people are stalked or harassed sometimes in this game. You can transfer your character to another data center and change their name and it won't do any good. Even if you transfer to another data center, people can still track you via the lodestone if they still have you on their friend's list. The lodestone reveals the world where you transferred to, if you joined a FC on that new world and the name of it, and other pertinent/personal information. In this game, there is no such thing as privacy and the sad part about the whole situation is that SE uses some ridiculous excuse for not doing what is right according to what I have read in previous forum postings regarding this issue (SE uses a "privacy" excuse). If I remove someone from my friend's list, then that means I no longer care to associate with them in the game and that is my choice! SE doesn't seem to understand that though. As mentioned above, the lodestone is a stalker's venue for following you. When you add someone to your friend's list, it's a double edged sword that could possibly prove to be a very bad decision.