I want to keep playing.

But I seem to be unable to make close friends. Playing this game is depressing for that reason. I can't do it anymore. Some people just are forced to be alone. And as hard as I tried to prevent it..I'm one of them..

I'm sorry :(
/hug

I think making friends is part effort, but it's also part luck. I've made some very good friends in-game, but it was all based on luck that we met at all.

You're always welcome to hang out with us if you ever find yourself on Lich :)

Seriously? Dont give up!

Since we're playing on the same server feel free to get in touch if you want to run any group content together or just hang out or whatever. I'm sure you'd be welcome to see how you fit in with our small FC as well if you wanted.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Twilite

But I seem to be unable to make close friends. Playing this game is depressing for that reason. I can't do it anymore. Some people just are forced to be alone. And as hard as I tried to prevent it..I'm one of them..

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Hey there, at one point I felt like you, don't think you're alone, cause you could probably be surrounded by great friends, enjoy the atmosphere also never let anyone get you down.

I actually find making friends fairly easy and this is my first MMO. I talk a lot--even little things go a long way.

I send a lot of friendly Tells (which is why I hope SE can figure out a way to stop RMT without needing to implement a Tell filter) ranging from name and glamour compliments to random things like "you must really like this area of Gridania--you're here all the time!"

Don't be surprised how far the conversation can go. I actually met my girlfriend two years ago by sending her a Tell saying "Luna is a very popular name on this server". Yes, an IRL relationship started from that simple Tell.

Just interact with people--with so little social activity going on in-game, they'll appreciate it.

That self-pitying attitude won't win you any friends.

Hey.

I've never done this on the forum before, but if you're looking for friends you're free to join my FC. It's a small, tight-knit, FC. No one is just a number. We are all friendly and accept anyone into our circle. You can also just hang on our TS if you don't want to join my FC. It's whatever. We also have a website that we post on every day. Sometimes we have events for funz. If you're shy, that's totally fine. You can just listen or tag along. We just enjoy hanging with people, joking around and stuff.

You aren't on my server though. If you did want to join my FC, you'd have to make a character on Gilgamesh, or transfer, unfortunately.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BrokenFox

That self-pitying attitude won't win you any friends.

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As harsh as this sounds, it's true.

I had one friend who spent most of his time talking to me pitying himself. It got very old after a while, and bothersome to talk with him.

The best thing to do when you're tired of people online is to keep to yourself until you're ready to deal with people again. People are going to be mean and whatnot, but seeking sympathy like this from everyone you can really isn't going to make people want to come to you. It's just going to make them think you have internal issues you need to settle and that being around you might not be the best idea. Even the best of friends won't usually want to be around someone who is prone to pitying themselves all the time, even though some may tolerate it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Adire

As harsh as this sounds, it's true.

I had one friend who spent most of his time talking to me pitying himself. It got very old after a while, and bothersome to talk with him.

The best thing to do when you're tired of people online is to keep to yourself until you're ready to deal with people again. People are going to be mean and whatnot, but seeking sympathy like this from everyone you can really isn't going to make people want to come to you. It's just going to make them think you have internal issues you need to settle and that being around you might not be the best idea.

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I hate to say it, but this is the complete truth. It is the main reason so many people hate me on Odin and there's a very negative stigma surrounding me. And once this stigma is attached to you, it isn't going away no matter how good a person you become.

I had an FC member tell me they were depressed so I sent them a link of Haiti's famous Mud Cookies. Self pity turned into self detriment, and I personally find self detriment is tolerable when combined with humor!
Kidding aside, jump to Siren and Join Rubra.
I was once in your shoes, wondering where the hell everyone was.

We're around.

Its not that you can't find friends, its that there are no ways to bind you to them and them to you.

So here's a hand offering shared experiences that will hopefully lead to some friends and a sense of community.

I think one of the most important things to learn here is one: do you enjoy the game, or do you enjoy the game because of your friends?

What I mean is, I'm one of those lone players as well who actually had a good bunch of people nearby, but for a reason or another we had an arguement and we went to our separate ways. The sad part is that the discussion was often relatively simple, often about things that didn't go right in the game, but it often ended up with them hating me because, in short words, I didn't agree with them; I recently lost another friend because of the 45 days reclaim, constantly telling her that it's not "our" fault if we want to take a long break from the game. The discussion ended up well, but we never spoke again. Do I regret having this discussion? No: it's not my fault if I think differently on things, but if being alone means having to use your own brain and having your opinions on things, then so be it.

Sure, nowadays it's hard for me to make friends and I really don't trust anyone anymore (at least in this game, while in others I'm very open), but I still enjoy the game enough to play it and subscribe.

The same discussion should be for you too OP: if you still enjoy the game, then just enjoy the game: friends are a bonus but they won't remove the joy factor from the game you're playing (and subscribing). But if you need friends to enjoy the game - WHICH IS FINE, different strokes for different folks - and you're having a hard time enjoying the game because of the lack of, perhaps it's time to reconsider things and take a step further. Most likely into the outside of the game.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Twilite

But I seem to be unable to make close friends. Playing this game is depressing for that reason. I can't do it anymore. Some people just are forced to be alone. And as hard as I tried to prevent it..I'm one of them..

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I'm like that as well, have a very hard time to make friends both online and offline. However, I've met a few people on Phoenix who are a great bunch, and we do a lot of things together.

I do get mood swings and have off-days, but I tend to not log on during those times, and when I do people tend to be understanding.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Twilite

But I seem to be unable to make close friends. Playing this game is depressing for that reason. I can't do it anymore. Some people just are forced to be alone. And as hard as I tried to prevent it..I'm one of them..

---

Lets get Married BE ME LILL WIFEY!

Becoming close to someone takes time. A lot of time. But if you want someone to hang out with, or do content with, come look me up, and you can join our Linkshell.

What kind of friendships are you looking for?

I've found it's easy to make casual friendships - just ask cool people if you can add them to your friend's list. I have a special linkshell I made for everyone on my friend's list, since I don't answer tells.

Making deep, meaningful friendships in this game is much more difficult. I can count the number of "video game only" friends I have in the game on one hand. Two of them have been with me since FFXI days. One is our FC leader. Everyone else in the FC I either knew from other places (real world) or I'm not quite that close with yet. That could change if they stick around!

Too bad you're not on shiva. We'd take you everywhere xD (dungs and stuff). As long as you're willing to improve yourself ingame that is.

From what I've read in the "Hook up Megathread" you change server pretty often maybe thats why? Making close friends isnt something you can achieve in days/months or so it sounds more like you want a very very very close friend NOW which isnt gonna happen. I can understand that having friends to play with makes the game more fun but can't you enjoy the game alone? I wouldn't go so far and call it "internal issues" since alot of players in a MMO have something like that. Maybe you will have better luck on a small server? Just don't try to hard to get sympathy from people^

Met my girlfriend playing this game as well, we even live together now.

My advice to the OP would be to put yourself out there, in my experience many people who say they can\\'t make friends don\\'t actively try as often as they should or get discouraged too easily by not having a best friend over the course of a month. If you truly want to make close friends you\\'ll need to be introspective. Do you find yourself coming off as abrasive often? Do you tend to be empathetic to others? Are you too sensitive to criticism or casual joking? Don\\'t feel like I\\'m accusing you, just saying some introspection can go a long way to self improvement and that can help with making friends.

In my opinion it is difficult to make actual friends in this game because of the duty finder and lack of any need to group up with your server.

I've made good friends in another game but this took years (2-7+) of daily chatting and partying together. Plus the chat system in that game was different. You type to your friend list and all of them would see it, you end up meeting friends through friends, group up, and everyone is much more talkative. There wasn't a duty finder either.

It doesn't help any when some people are on console and find it a chore to chat and type back to people. (Just speaking of a particular person I know on ffxiv, not everyone who uses console...)

I made fast friends with a large group of people during Beta and when XIV launched. There was a group of around 40 of us who generally chatted it up and goofed off together, so when the FCs opened up, we all jumped on it.

I am a PS4 player, but I do know how to use an keyboard (and I do enjoy talking...when the conversation is something of real value or substance) and because of that, we had a damn good time.

Raiding (CT and BCOB) came, and pretty much all of the members of my FC basically bailed. I would say that 95% of the jumped ship, unsubbed, and found a different MMO due to bullying and other hate going on in the chat window during raid runs.

The other 5% relocated to Raiding FCs. I still see them and we still chat it up from time to time, usually around patch releases like this comming weekend.

Due to that, and the fact there are few players on Exodus during the weekends when I am online that are not in an FC, its not only hard to make good friends, but it is also hard to recruit. My FC is down to myself as the most active person, and 2 others who are online a handful of times during the month at best.

To the OP - I hear you, I get you, and I feel where you are coming from. You play but you also play wanting to do it with others who you consider friends.

ADVICE - If you are not willing to take a leap of blind faith and talk to other players, you will have a quite and lonely time in game. If you are not willing to spend the time to make contacts, talk to players, and cultivate relationships; you will have a quite and lonely time in game. If you cannot find something or a lot of things that bring you enjoyment, relaxation, excitement in game; you will have a bored, quite, lonely time in game.

In this game, any game, is the same as in real life. You will only get what you put into it. If you make no effort, you will get nothing for a reward.

With all of that said, if you are looking for a laid back place to chill for a while, and don't mind only having someone to hang out with on the weekends, come look me up on the Exodus Server. I will hang with you.

I recently had the same feeling. I got into a fight with a friend, not unusual for us though, we don't talk anymore, and I left the static, FC, and LSes we were both in. I even almost left the server because I got so mad at him. I'm not mad anymore, but in the aftermath of that fight, I lost another friend because of how upset I was getting over that fight and a break up I had, and almost lost another. I tried to transfer servers again, but two friends of mine talked me down from transferring and I stayed, joined one friend's FC, and I'm very happy.
All I really did was talk to people, even if it was terrifying, and I have two amazing friends and I'm happily talking and playing with people in my FC and in an LS I'm in.

Find players of the same feather and flock together.

One of my favorite sayings applies to this.
"Depression and Laughter are both contagious. Which one do you want to be spreading?"

Unfortunately, not everyone is equipped to handle depressive people. And it's exactly because it's such a contagious emotion. Your bad mood can easily drive someone else's happy mood straight into the ground and most people don't like that. But if you can get to a mindset where you are the one spreading the laughter, I think you'll find yourself overall in a better place, surrounded by better people.

i live in a different time zone with most of the member in my fc so it like when i start to play, they start to log out, when i start to log out, they start to do thing so i somehow can understand how you feel, sometime i feel so lonely, noone to talk to, noone to play with,just running around doing everything by my own, but i still trying to get over it and try to enjoy every single moment when i can online with my fc, it is fun and they still try help me with a lot of things, make me feel so happy then ^ ^
You should try to join a nice fc, or when you do dungeon, trial ... and you see someone seem really nice you can try to talk to them and send them friend request, that way i think you can make a lots of friend too.
But 1 advise, being normal when you are making friend, cause i know some people trying to rush and become a noisy creepy stalker.
Hope that you can feel better and find a lot of friends ^ ^
p/s: sr for my bad english !

I have a hard time too, but that is mostly because I am shy, and I live in a different timezone. I, however, don't look for close friendships in the game. To just have someone fun to play with and chat with once in a while is enough for me. It is a social game, after all.

Too bad you make or break your enjoyment of this game on friendships on made. Hope you find what you're looking for in a different game :)