LGBT-friendly servers & FC's for raiders

Hey all,

My significant other and I are looking for a possible server or FC switch. We're presently on Diabolos and also endgame raiders. The raid group that we were leading just failed on final stage of T11 due to Diabolos's pretty severe lack of tanks, and we also found throughout the process that it was essentially all but impossible to weed out people who are uncomfortable with people who identify as LGBT or allies.

We've heard that Balmung is an unofficial LGBT server, but we've also heard some disquieting stories about harassment that takes place there as well as some concerns that Balmung is newbie-heavy and not a good place to develop an FCoB coil group. We're on North America's West Coast, so an EU server would probably not be a good fit for us, time zone-wise. We also don't want to dive head-first into a server transfer without first knowing our options and what we might be getting into, hence the post here.

Thanks!

Have you seen this thread?
http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...ed-August-2014

Yea I wouldn't play on a EU server if you live in the NA because mainly due to the fact that there will not be that many people on when you probably are playing.

.Can't go wrong with Gilgamesh.

We have Magitaint (?) FC which is known for its LGBT friendliness, chocobros + a whole lot of other lgbt friendly FCs.

I have an alt in balmung and I don't see any lgbt hate there, although it's not really known for much end game raiding. I wouldn't say the Balmung is newbie heavy since its VERY difficult for players to create characters there due to it being closed for CC.

It's really disturbing to think that people have actually run into that kind of attitude problem while trying to put together a raid static. What the hell does your sexuality have to do with raid performance? I personally think it's a pretty stupid reason to either not want to raid with someone or to give them enough grief during raiding to make it an unpleasant experience. When I raid I'm there to raid, not to berate people about their own personal life choices that don't even affect me in the slightest. Honestly, I think it's kind of sad that servers/FC's have to explicitly advertise as 'LGBT friendly' when it should be the norm rather than the exception. :|

As far as the lack of tanks, I don't think that's unique to your server at all. Tank is the least played role. It's hard enough to find one period, much less find one that can actually get the job done. Kind of sucks, really.

Balmung is a Legacy server, it has tons of new people, sure, but it is also the hardest to get a new character made on and has a large number of 1.0 players. It is the unofficial RP server, and thus a bit more friendly and tolerant in mass as a result. I believe that Balmung has potential for more FCoB groups, but I haven't been into that since my group broke up on T9 months ago.

But yeah, you have more established players over newbies, but the big issue is most of the FCoB groups try to do so with FCs over new groups, so it's hard to get members or get into one.

If that doesn't deter you, then it's a good server. If for some reason you can't find a good FC, let me know, I run one and know a few good others I interact with constantly. All good people.

YOu can come to Hyperion server if by chance xfers are available for this server seeing as how crowded it is... nothing to worry about as far as harassment here my fc that im currently in also has lgbt players in the shell that are currently raiding or just doing casual content.

Can check us out at http://semperfi.guildwork.com/

How is Faerie not the lgbt server? Just sayin.

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Originally Posted by Dyne_Fellpool

How is Faerie not the lgbt server? Just sayin.

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And its comments like this...

My FC on Behemoth, The Armada, has several LGBT members, but the endgame community on behemoth can be pretty close nit and not always easy to get into

People get uncomfortable with others' sexuality only when this is flaunted or brought up a lot. Avoiding certain custom emotes, or certain comments does great strides in keeping people together. I speak as my own self, but I'm personally bothered by all kinds of sexual comments/emotes/interactions, so maybe this is what will bring people away from you. How do people even figure out your sexuality, if it didn't come from you in the first place?

Keep that stuff private, whether you're straight, gay, bisexual or transgender, it doesn't matter. /tell exists for a reason. I'm not saying that you need to hide from the masses, but just from a purely speculative point of view, I cannot tell LGBT from straight people unless they do something that calls for people's attention to themselves and their tastes.

Be appropriate, be polite, and be reserved. No one will be uncomfortable at you then.

I fully support your community but I just am not fond of this insula-mind people have. I do not think there is a need to make "X only" groups or Free Companies. Surely there are bad people there and trolls, but they are always a minority. And the first way to make it difficult for people to accept your diversity is to put this kind of barriers between you and them.

Not going to hide that I'm gay because it makes bigots feel uncomfortable. Straight guys don't hide that they're straight... ever.

The straight guys in my FC talk about hot chicks, I talk about hot guys. They laugh. It's whatever. My FC is small though. We only have two raid groups. But there are tons and TONS of final coil groups on Gilamesh. I haven't come across any bigots on Gilgamesh either. It might be a good place to transfer to.

Bluevann: You fail to understand. The last tank that we had made a number of anti-LGBT jokes and I was faced with the situation of either telling that person to behave appropriately and resultingly making an issue of members' LGBT status, which was until that point unknown to the group, or quietly letting him tell hateful jokes. It's not a situation that I ever want to be in again.

I think we've got a LGBT FC on Brynhildr that's been advertising pretty heavily. I'll check them later once maintenance is done to see what the FC's name is.

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Originally Posted by auronrenouille

Bluevann: You fail to understand. The last tank that we had made a number of anti-LGBT jokes and I was faced with the situation of either telling that person to behave appropriately and resultingly making an issue of members' LGBT status, which was until that point unknown to the group, or quietly letting him tell hateful jokes. It's not a situation that I ever want to be in again.

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Again, I'm going to say what I would do in your stead, as I myself never had this kind of issue, but I had something close to that, being Italian and having had someome make very racist comments in my Linkshell. First off, I'd privately contact the leader of your free company and ask for a mature solution to the problem, because if this tank has made "a number" of jokes that offend you, then it is an enough "number" to call this a problem.

This is where my experience stopped, because it's where my problem was solved. The offender apologized and stopped the racist jokes.

If however this hadn't worked or the leader shurgs the issue off, then the next person you want to look for is a GM. Discriminative jokes are bannable harassment, and as such you are totally entitled to seek the support of a moderator.

I'm not even going to address those who said I'm implying to "hide" because in my very own post I said that is not what I meant. But what I am ultimately saying is that in this MMO your sexuality does not matter. As doesn't your religion, your race, your gender, your food tastes nor your favorite boyband. When people begin to harass you for one of these things, they are trying to make it matter, and that is their wrong doing. By encouraging "X only/X friendly" servers, groups, cliques, and so on and so forth, you are saying that those things do matter. You are making a point of your offender. It's like saying "I'll go over there with those people because you are right, I am not legitimate to stay here". Is that the right thing to do? I say, no. Isolation and rising fences are the first weapon against acceptance and embracing diversity among each other.

Do not punish yourself for this person's behavior. They are the ones in the wrong, and should be treated as such. I am a girl, of a different race than the server I play on, asexual and a misanthrope to some degree. I'd be well screwed if I were to build a group to perfectly fit my canons because of the whole range of jokes I could be addressed with, but I have found my good share of friends, all of different tastes, nature, and beliefs, but we get along equally by not offending each other's qualities/beliefs/etc. and not imposing our own. If someone does, than he is the one to be punished, not ourselves.

There is a large amount of homosexual players on Midgardsormr. I'm not particularly aware of any FC or LS there, but there probably is one. I myself am gay and lead my own FC, and we have (and had, people who no longer play) several gay males in our FC. I don't think we have any raid slot openings though.

However, you mentioned getting offended over jokes or words or whatever. I'm not sure how exactly to describe my FC members, but we're the type of people that would pretty much REFUSE spending time out of our lives CHOOSING to be upset over jokes or words. If any sort of slur was ever said (which rarely if ever happens anyway), I'd expect no one to think anything of it. We are always joking around with each other and making fun of one another. Sometimes those jokes are related to our sexuality, or race, or gender, and that's OK (for us). Enjoying ourselves and having a good time is the #1 priority.

Now if someone is intentionally trying to upset you, or maybe even singling you out and purposely causing you grief for ANY reason, that's a different story. Either way, I hope you find what you are looking for, because being uncomfortable around people, especially ones you have to be around nearly everyday, is no way to play the game or to live life.

Thanks, Galka, I struggle with how much to share here. I don't want to re-litigate the matter because that doesn't contribute to our goals in-game, but we're all accustomed to jokes and we all make them - what was being said was of an unusually graphic, violent, and disturbing nature, of a level I've never heard before in my life and that I hope to never hear again, something that I couldn't relate here even if I wanted to due to the ToS, not just the sorts of run-of-the-mill chat and trash-talking that I'm used to as a longtime online gamer. I agree that nobody can be an online gamer and have a thin skin, but the situation we went through would require far more explanation (and strategic redactions) than anybody would want to read here.

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Originally Posted by auronrenouille

what was being said was of an unusually graphic, violent, and disturbing nature, of a level I've never heard before in my life and that I hope to never hear again

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I hope you (and everyone else who may have shared the chat channel) reported the person.

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Originally Posted by auronrenouille

what was being said was of an unusually graphic, violent, and disturbing nature, of a level I've never heard before in my life and that I hope to never hear again, something that I couldn't relate here even if I wanted to due to the ToS, not just the sorts of run-of-the-mill chat and trash-talking that I'm used to as a longtime online gamer

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That's something I forgot to mention in my post, is that there is absolutely a line that people shouldn't cross, and thankfully I've been blessed with free company members who don't cross it. Sadly the internets is full of line-crossers, and people whose existence revolves around getting a rise out of people. :\ That's one of the things I vowed to protect my FC from when I created it.

LGBT communities are a joke. I hear nothing but the funniest conversations when people talk about Cactuar's LGBT linkshells.

It's a constant war on who's character looks more homosexual and sexy. Then they get into full on arguements and spew outrageous statements Tumblr-style about who is more the victim. I can't even tell if it really is a LGBT linkshell. They demean themselves more than any of the non-LGBT players would to them. They've segregated themselves only to give themselves even more of a bad name.

In my opinion, nobody cares who you want to sleep in bed with. This is a video game. An ONLINE video game. If you just play the game you're fine. There isn't any reason why you should bring up such a topic. There isn't any reason why your sexuality is an issue unless you plan on dating some of the people in the game.

In the game "The Sims", the reasons why Will Wright designed the Sim characters to speak "Simlish" was because it not only allowed easy localization of the game to other countries but it also gives the player the effect that self-insertion is never truly possible for the game. The Sims are wacky. I think that applies to all games. In other words, don't take the game so seriously. Don't LIVE through the video game. It's not real life.

Really, if harassment is that much of an issue you should just report the other player. Harassment is harassment, and no harassment is tolerated. In this case, the GMs are very quick to respond.

What's the point of an online game anyway if you're going to alienate yourself from most of the community?

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Originally Posted by SekhmetM

It's a constant war on who's character looks more homosexual and sexy.

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I thought this was the whole point of this game.

In-game communities done properly (whether LGBT, religious, specific-language, or whatever) are inclusive of their target demographic without being isolationist or deliberately alienating other people. That said, I've also encountered "LGBT-friendly" groups on games where most players seem to be teenagers who think that talking about sex all the time is required to keep their gay card current and that it's somehow cool and edgy (the latter part describing a lot of teens, not just LGBT; sex is cool and edgy when you're not having any, I suppose).

As for discussions of sexuality, I don't think this usually goes down the way that a lot of people seem to think. I don't log in each day and shout a PSA; it's more like being asked about my dinner plans and responding that my husband is making burgers. It's not like "Hey, you available for T12 progression tonight?" "No, I have plans to do very gay things, and I will now tell you of them in explicit, unsolicited detail."

Can we stop with the "LGBTQ-friendly" = "Exclusively QUILTBAG NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED!1111" insinuations? OP isn't asking for a community that is exclusively for the QUILTBAG community. They're asking for a place that doesn't tolerate constant shit where derogatory comments are made. They don't want to worry about the people making these comments when girl's asked about her Valentine's day plans and she doesn't want to worry about saying "I've got a reservation for my wife and I at this great restaurant and having a good night with wine and stuff."

That said, while my experience is only limited to Balmung, I will say that I've never seen an FC have any issues with this. I've not had a -need- for it anyway. I know that there are LGBT persons on the server, myself being one of them. I've never been in a situation in Balmung where I went "wow I am truly uncomfortable in this situation as a lesbian I really am not comfortable with this." (Possibly maybe the time when an FC-mate/static-mate kept making jokes that he was PlayerKilling me in FCOB cause I wouldn't eternal bond with him. I doubt it.)

Raid-wise: I know several people in my FC have recently had issues with statics for FCOB but Northern Thanalan is still rife with groups Pugging away at FCOB. I might even know a tank or two who needs a static >.> Or several people there needing a static. I use PST and the server is generally active.