"A dim realization about Sastasha..."

Was browsing google for some "ffxiv realizations" and found this piece of gold. Hope it gives you a laugh like it did to me!

"Something's bugged me about Sastasha for awhile, and maybe it came about from the exhaustion of dungeon running at 3am in the morning, or maybe this dim realization's only just started peaking through after the 8999th time queueing for it with the "random" duty roulette...

Let me explain. I have forged Curtana in the death-throes of Ifrit's Hellfire. Garuda herself shrieked in agony as I plunged Gae Bolg into her well-endowed feathery bosom. Titan tremored in horror as he broke his body upon Bravura. I've traveled the four corners of the realm to feed a fat Roegadyn and his merry band of misfits with the morally questionable act of poached turtle egg and a possibly toxic/carcinogenic parfait of goblin-made cheese and survived the encounter. I have dismantled Ultima with my bare fists twice over, I have conquered the Binding Coil of Bahamut (okay, okay, Twintania still uses my face for a chewtoy, BUT STILL), I have SHATTERED EMPIRES AND DARK GODS OVER MY KNEE in the name of the three city-states of Eorzea...
...but for the life of me I cannot cause a single scratch on a clam while its mouth is closed. Not one. Single. HP. Lost.

Someone tell the crafters we've been working with the wrong materials. When Bahamut Extreme mode comes out, I'm charging in with my clamshell armor, and I won't need to HQ it, damn it."

A comment below made it even better:

"Be careful no one else learns of this. It may usher in a new...... clamity"

I can already see it, Full Clam Gear, Bahamut Extreme mode, just before the pull:

https://s-media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com...cd5701969a.jpg

Link

This is awesome. Thanks for sharing

Clamshell bikini in 3, 2, 1...

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Originally Posted by Limecat

Clamshell bikini in 3, 2, 1...

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Coming in 2.4 as a coils III drop, Heavy True Allagan Clamshell bikini.

From nomnom's comic site

https://38.media.tumblr.com/1f1315aa...mumo1_1280.png

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Originally Posted by Gralna

From nomnom's comic site

https://38.media.tumblr.com/1f1315aa...mumo1_1280.png

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I am soooooooo that Rogadyn in that situation LMAO!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, Where can I get me some clams....

But you really haven't been through all that. Your level synced down to when you first did the mission. Your just as weak and helpless as you were before. I consider all the lower missions to just be the Echo letting you relive that moment in time. Sure you appear to be equipped at level 50 but that's just because you see yourself that way. Your gear levels are lowered as well if you look at the stats. sure they may be higher than when you first went in, but that is just the Power of the echo. And the loot you get that's different from the fist time you did the mission? Well that's where you have to stop and realize your playing a video game and the loot is just the bait to keep you playing. Or maybe it's just summoned from the aether and dropped into your hands, another fiancé power of echo.

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Originally Posted by Blindheart

-snip-

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The logic is blinding me like a Nexus weapon.

For some reason, Sastasha is one of only two dungeons I ever seem to get into on Duty Roulette on my Monk. A pair of clamshell katanas may be just what my future Ninja deserves!

That and Copperbell are the only thing my poor Archer ever sees

to the shell-theory: Wow, this is eye-opening :eek:

on another note:

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Originally Posted by Blindheart

snip

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That's a nice theory and I also think it explains best why we are level synced but what if
the HM also got those lovely shells? :D

But with what are crafters supposed to create this beyond legendary gear? With only a level 75 tool, how are we supposed to make iLvl 585 gear? It just doesn't make sense; more research is needed... To Talan!

We can't! they make the flight recorders for Airships out of them! Garlond ironworks owns a monopoly on clamshell extraction.

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Originally Posted by Blindheart

But you really haven't been through all that. Your level synced down to when you first did the mission. Your just as weak and helpless as you were before. I consider all the lower missions to just be the Echo letting you relive that moment in time. Sure you appear to be equipped at level 50 but that's just because you see yourself that way. Your gear levels are lowered as well if you look at the stats. sure they may be higher than when you first went in, but that is just the Power of the echo. And the loot you get that's different from the fist time you did the mission? Well that's where you have to stop and realize your playing a video game and the loot is just the bait to keep you playing. Or maybe it's just summoned from the aether and dropped into your hands, another fiancé power of echo.

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It was a joke - thanks for spoiling the mood!!!

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Originally Posted by ZiahZi

That's a nice theory and I also think it explains best why we are level synced but what if
the HM also got those lovely shells? :D

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no not only are they invincible they gain Edda's laugh when ever hit when they are clammed up.

Oh the clamaty!

Dying... laughing.. from nomnom comic. White Mage, help!

If they ever implement a kind of Mythic weapon, I sincerely hope Paladin gets a Clam Shield. The best offense is... well. A peerless, impenetrable defense...?

i laughed.

well done.

How can you craft such clam shells into wearable armour when the most powerful tools in the land can not dent them? The best you could do is... pick the clam up and strap it to your body. :S And I dunno if they're heavy, but I'm guessin' they are!

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Originally Posted by Loony_BoB

How can you craft such clam shells into wearable armour when the most powerful tools in the land can not dent them? The best you could do is... pick the clam up and strap it to your body. :S And I dunno if they're heavy, but I'm guessin' they are!

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Diamond vs Diamond. Clam vs Clam!

I can only imagine how these clams would be like in Sastasha HM.

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Originally Posted by dragonkyn20

I can only imagine how these clams would be like in Sastasha HM.

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Soon we get to find out! =D

That was quite cute, and yes I have had my fair share of: Damn clam, just open already!

Usually it's right when I am getting a proc, as if the stupid things is psychic, and I waste it on waiting for the bloody thing to open. XD

Sastasha is a beast :cool:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/...014_222842.png

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Originally Posted by KarstenS

Sastasha is a beast :cool:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/...014_222842.png

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low dps?

http://www.shadowlocked.com/images/s.../paddlin_1.png

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Originally Posted by KarstenS

Sastasha is a beast :cool:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/...014_222842.png

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Hope you've got your DPS rotations down! All two buttons worth!

(Grins)... this post actually made my day. +1 to the OP... and its now safe to assume that AF3 will be made from clam shell.