New Weapon Designs Idea - Joke Weapons

Heya! In some past Final Fantasy titles, joke weapons have been a thing. usually with attack power on par with endgame weapons, but usually with serious drawbacks that make them undesirable, like a lack of other stats and such.

I would merely like to suggest something similar here as a set of glamour weapons.

PLD: Wooden Plank (Sword), Basket Cover (Shield)
WAR: Steel Beam
MNK: Boxing Gloves
DRG: Mop
NIN: Silver Fork and Butter Knife
BRD: "Training Bow" with gaudy color scheme and rubber suction cup-tipped arrows
SMN: Children's Pop-up Book of Clubs
SCH: Children's Pop-up Book of Hearts
WHM: Paper Fan
BLM: Broom (Suggested by myahele)

I started running out of ideas once I got to the DoM jobs. Sorry if some of these aren't stellar. T_T

But still, I think some joke weapons could be fun as glamour pieces!

No. This game is serious business.

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Originally Posted by HakuroDK

DRG: Mop

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It's like you're asking us to clean up our own blood D:

Can the paladin's weapons be made of food? The shield should most definitely be some form of meat.

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Originally Posted by Decrith

It's like you're asking us to clean up our own blood D:

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So that the next time you die, it won't be because you slipped on it!

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Originally Posted by Decrith

It's like you're asking us to clean up our own blood D:

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WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD WATCH WHERE YOU BLEED NEXT TIME.

Blood for Blood gets freaking everywhere. It's nasty.

I'd rather BLM have a broom.

Still, would be nice to have something like this. Too bad it'll require rare mats + 3* crafting and will cost than primal weapons.

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Originally Posted by myahele

I'd rather BLM have a broom.

Still, would be nice to have something like this. Too bad it'll require rare mats + 3* crafting and will cost than primal weapons.

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Not to completely ruin your cynicism or anything, but I was more thinking that this would be weapon drops from Ultros HM.

The PLD needs a shield made out of an old PBR 30 rack box. Though thats product placement, whats a good Eorzean beer or maybe grog?

Heh, I'm all for this! I mean, we have the Duman eyepiece from the new beastmen quests (Phantasy Star Portable reference, there... but seriously, that's a Duman eyepiece), and the series it's from is known for having some crazy joke weapons.

Aren't the moogle weapons kinda... exactly this?

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Originally Posted by Aku

Aren't the moogle weapons kinda... exactly this?

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Yes

http://www.bilder-hochladen.net/file...03-36-698d.jpg

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Originally Posted by Aku

Aren't the moogle weapons kinda... exactly this?

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Maybe, but the OP is probably also making reference to FFVII where each character had a 'novelty' weapon that had no materia slots but had superpowered stats for that level - they were joke weapons in appearance and name as they were often items only vaguely 'weapon like' (Cloud had a baseball bat with a nail sticking out of it, Cid had a mop, Vincent had a water pistol, Aeris had an umbrella etc).

Ironically enough though, I was just thinking of this very thing the other day! So yeah, I'd love something like this to be added to FFXIV. :) Following on from FFVII, make them that they're unique/untradeable, that you cannot meld materia to them, but they'd be useful as vanity items.

Some of my possible novelty weapon choices (some shamelessly ripped from FFVII):

GLA/PLD - Nailbat and Pot Lid
MRD/WAR - Shovel
PGL/MNK - Work Gloves
LNC/DRG - Mop
ARC/BRD - Cupid Bow
RGE/NIN - Fork and Spoon
CNJ/WHM - Parasol
THM/BLM - Torch
ACN/SMN/SCH - Picture Book

:P

Ohhh! Like the ones in Soul Calibur 3? I loved those weapons sooo bad XD

I really like some of the ones in TERA and AION... they're really humorous and some are delicious! XD
http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/def...55d25672a6.jpg

AION ones:
http://www.blogcdn.com/massively.joy...11/05/aion.jpg

http://img2.mmo.mmo4arab.com/news/20...niqueitems.jpg

http://img3.mmo.mmo4arab.com/news/20...e_weapon05.jpg

As a SCH main I want a pop-up book.

PLD shield should be a pot lid and the sword a ladle.

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Originally Posted by Titor

As a SCH main I want a pop-up book.

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Like this one?
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.n...26867179_o.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.n...32884104_o.jpg

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Originally Posted by Cluebilly

Can the paladin's weapons be made of food? The shield should most definitely be some form of meat.

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I would want them all to be made of food, so Culinarians can actually glamour things XD

Imagine:
Fish axes, pepperoni swords, pickle claws, sandwich books, baguette spears, among other things I can image right now.

While we're on the subject of joke items, I also wish to propose these.

http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0...rsona4b_11.jpg

They should also change the noises you hear when you use them.

pld - Tuna/trashcan lid
mnk - hand cymbals
war - oar
drg - paint roller
brd - toy bow that shoots rubber chickens
blm - squeegee
whm - IV stand
smn/sch - magick for dummies

WHM - First Aid Kit

I want these too, but they should be drops from Gilgamesh or please, Gilgamesh extreme, a fight that isn't actually all that hard but is absolute comedic chaos.

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Originally Posted by HakuroDK

While we're on the subject of joke items, I also wish to propose these.

http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0...rsona4b_11.jpg

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These are confirmed to be coming. I don't know if they'll be exact but they are going to add these.

If I were to hazard a guess, the next Hildibrand quest series.

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Originally Posted by HakuroDK

BLM: Broom (Suggested by myahele)

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I would main my BLM if I could have a broom.
I imagine the end of it lighting on fire when you pull it out.