Looks like I'm going to be looking for a new FC (rant)

I apologize in advance for this rant thread. I also want to thank anyone in advance if you read through all of this. I'm not asking for a pity party, but need to get some things out.

My FC is/was a tightknit group. There's about 6 of us who log on consistently, and about 5 others who come and go. We always run roulettes together, but raids, EX primal farm (older primals for ponies and birds), hunts, maps, or a combination of them is when we can grab some of the other members who only come along on Saturday. Especially the guildleader.

Before I get into what happened, I would like to make some things known to those willing to hear me out. It will be important to know.

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The guildleader is someone most of us consider to be very selfish. When we group, she keeps us waiting around prior to queueing so she can tend to things that she can do later. Things like checking retainers and managing her inventory. Sensing the frustration from the other members, I would always ask them to be patient.

They have no desire to do workshop related activities because no one is compensated for their time. She sends out the airships and submarines and collects all the spoils for herself. We would tend to let this go because she puts in all the work, and we just show up so she has a full party to progress the projects. Her and I are really the only ones who enjoy crafting and gathering, but all us of rather be doing other things since she is so hush-hush about what she's up to.

A lot of time would pass before she could advance a project, and she would get frustrated with this. I explained to her what I just mentioned, and told her that the 'boys' will be more willing to help if she would participate more in the things we do as an FC such as daily roulettes, but it would always be me asking them for their help, and not her.

She's been playing a lot longer than myself, but I eventually surpassed her centurio gear because I actually grind tomes and raids. She'd talk about how much queue time sucks as a DPS, but any of us were always willing to tank and heal for her. Eventually, I wanted to finish up 4.5 as an FC but she was stuck at ilv340. So I grabbed my DRK and basically dragged her into roulettes so she could get to the ilv365 requirement to finish everything up. All the SB 8-man and 24-man raids, Four Lords, and Ghimlyt Dark were cleared for her because of my help.

There was a time when we a had a LOT more players in the FC, and most of them were fed up with her and left. All of them except me. I stood around even though she had not logged on for nearly three weeks, and took care of the gardens and stable. She eventually did come back and I let her know what happened, and assured her she still had me.

It was just her and I for a few months and we would have a lot of idle chat. Talking about everything, including some things going on irl. I considered her a friend. Eventually, I managed to get some players back - our current roster. I seemingly became the glue that kept everyone from leaving a second time as most of them came to me saying they were thinking about it.

Among those irl things we talked about, I let her know that I lost my job of 15 years over some crazy BS, which is another long story I won't get into. In short, I was screwed over by my former boss, and have been unemployed for about two months now. I got my unemployment claim approved, which the company is now appealing. Yup, after everything I sacrificed for them which includes personal time, and time away from my family. These last couple months, I've been falling deeper and deeper into a depressive state. I've been trying so hard to get a new job and complying with the regulations set by the unemployment company. So many applications sent out, and I've landed a few interviews. Still waiting to hear back from two of them; one of which would be such an awesome job to have, and a start to a new career.
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So what happened was last night we got together to do some maps. We have a strict rule that has always been in place that need is only rolled by the owner of the map. Everyone else is free to role greed if they want the item.

During one of my runs of the treasure dungeons I got a Thief's map, which we ran right away. Luck was totally on my side this run, and even pulled the x4 loot from the random card game in there and everyone got that Golden Namazu minion. We ended up clearing the whole dungeon and the Hedgehoglet minion dropped. I quickly made sure I had enough inventory space, and rolled need on it... but I didn't get it. The FC leader also rolled need and popped the minion immediately after getting it. When we questioned her why she rolled need, she said nothing and logged out.

I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. After everything I've done for her and the FC, and that she knows what a hard time I am having with life right now. I knew she was selfish, but to cheat me out of a minion worth 4 million gil I was blindsided. I talked with the other two members after cooling down a bit and told them I unfriended all four of her characters, and will proceed to blacklist all of them and leave the FC. One said it might have been an accident and to at least talk to her. I said I would sleep on it, but once I make a decision it is extremely rare I reverse it. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. Once your on my schite list, you are DONE.

Bare in mind, this has NOTHING to do with the minion. I can buy that minion without even scratching my back. It's about principle, etiquette, respect; along with the audacity and selflessness of others. That people always show their true colors eventually. I blame myself because I should have seen it coming, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for my friends and guildmates. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Something that ends up biting me in the ass time and time again, and I think it's at the point where I can't fault anyone except my own damn self.

I'm no saint either. In my early days I've done things that have given me a profound amount of guilt and remorse I will always carry with me, and maybe that's why these things keep happening. I'll continue to try and be a good person and considerate and courteous of others. But yeah, it looks like I'm going to be FC-less for the first time since joining the game.

I really appreciate all of you, and thank you so much for your time.

One thing I've learned in my long years playing MMOs is that it's really hard to get along with some people - and if you really don't get along with someone, especially if there's a good reason for it, such as selfishness, then it's just going to keep getting worse. Games are downtime, fun time, relaxation, free time, and that's something that makes it even harder to deal with. After all, you should be enjoying your free time, not "working", or doing things that feel like work - and dragging someone through content, putting up with someone you don't really like, etc. all count as "work". And before someone else tries to say it - sure, breaking none of these "unwritten rules" is against ToS, etc. However, there's still such a thing as courtesy and respect, and this showed none of that.

So, no. I don't blame you in the slightest for feeling frustrated and angry about this. It's pretty clear that if this had been a first-time offense, it wouldn't have been such a deal-breaker, but it's everything leading up to it, too. As to whether or not leaving is the right option, I leave that up to you - ultimately, yes. You should get away from this person and not do anything else with/for them. I don't know what your situation is and whether or not anybody else would go with you, or if people would be willing to group with you if you stuck around in the FC & ignored the leader, etc.

I had something similar happen about a year and some change ago. I won't go into details, because it's water under the bridge, but I had a pretty bad falling-out with our former FC-leader, and there was this sort of "lead up", as well. How the whole drama was approached, however, turned off most of the others in the FC as well, and every single current-geared 70 left along with me when I quit the FC. The FC leader realised that they'd shot themselves in the foot, gave the FC over to someone we were still friends with, and left. We all went back, and now we're all pretty happy. I'm lucky - I still would have left, but without the rest of the group going with me, things wouldn't have turned out anywhere near as well... so I get just how hard a decision this is.

Ultimately, I hope you have friends that understand/agree with this and support you, but either way... well, you have my sympathy. There are childish, selfish people all over, and it sucks any time you spend your time on them only to be repaid with trouble. I hope you sort it out, and that you can find another group of folks if your current group isn't willing to back you up.

*hugs*

I don't really have much else to say other than a simple Chin up! Don't let the bastards get you down. And more of these *hugs* <-

..... well that is ... humbug.



Wish you some good karma rolls and a nice new home!

Yeah, you get people like that from time to time in this world sadly :/ we had someone in a FC for 1-2 years who one day just took everything out of the FC chest they could and disappeared to another server.

I wish you luck in your next FC, hopefully your next FC leader has more moral fibre.

Sorry to hear about that. It sounds awful.

Is there maybe another FC that people tended to join after leaving yours? At least you'd know some people then.

It sounds more like she started an FC just to have her own fc and keeps people around to churn out points, but she has no desire to function as an FC leader. As for the minion, you don't say nothing and log out if it's a mistake. Hope you find an FC that feels like home and maybe some of your buddies can wander over with you.

Sucks, but sounds as if you are better off in the long run.

Sounds like you made the right call, the FC lead sounds like a... *bleep*.

You seem to have your head screwed on pretty well. Why not consider setting up a new FC with those from your friends who may also feel the same way as you do?