Journal, "Traumaturgy" -- Text -- Incorrect Word Used in Entry -- "securing"

When the player begins the "Traumaturgy" sidequest and observes the first entry of the Journal, the following text appears for the first two lines:

"
Prelate Totono informs you that the Order succeeded in tracking down the Amalj'aa
warband that kidnapped the novice Theda and securing her safety. Traumatized by
"

This seems to read awkwardly because the word "securing" on the second line does not match the phrasing from the previous line, "the Order succeeded". In other words, it seems as though the Order did (past tense) two discretely different things: "succeeded in tracking down the warband" and "secured Theda's safety".

In order to make this read less awkwardly, please consider replacing "securing" on the second line with "secured".

The suggested text would read as follows:

"
Prelate Totono informs you that the Order succeeded in tracking down the Amalj'aa
warband that kidnapped the novice Theda and secured her safety. Traumatized by
"

Steps to Reproduce:
1) Start the game.
2) Accept the "Traumaturgy" sidequest from Totono in the Thaumaturges' Guild.
3) Open the Journal through the Main Menu.

I actually believe this is grammatically correct both ways; I can see what's being done and why "securing" was used. But the way I'm suggesting removes the awkwardness. The first time I read this sentence, it read wrong to me and I needed to go over it again. The first rule of writing, to me, is to be able to read through something and not have to ever stop and think about how something is phrased.

My point is that you wouldn't be wrong to say "Oh this is fine," but I think it could be less awkward. Thanks!

It was just a joke you know ^^ Its like the "Act of pure Weevil"...they're just playing with words.

EDIT: Lol sorry...i completely misread your post >< i thought you meant that the "traumaturgy" was wrong...really sorry

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mermentia

In order to make this read less awkwardly, please consider replacing "securing" on the second line with "secured".

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Thanks for the suggestion, Merm. The text has been changed and will go live in 1.19.

Really appreciate your work on this, Eemeefu. Thanks again.