Honestly my take is mostly a two strikes rule. If I'm having trouble holding aggro or just surviving pulls and I ask them to let me control the pulls please, and they still run ahead and be a dick about it, then yeah, they can tank.
It's a courtesy thing, no I'm not immediately gonna be a dick about it, but if I ask and they just ignore me that's them showing they're not planning on treating me like a player, but like an npc. And I will retaliate in kind.
