Definitely not your fault, people are really cranky about the balance of the game right now.
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Quality isn't necessarily easy, but is necessary. The game was a lot more balanced after Midas all the way until Endwalker. It was never perfectly balanced and we always had some outliers, but there was never as much of a gap as there is currently since Midas.
That being said, while FF14 isn't at its best right now, it's still miles above every other MMO with job balance currently.
Don't be sorry, and try not to let arguments of minutiae bother you. Balance isn't that great at the moment and there are plenty of passionate people with opinions on the topic.
And trolls.
But play Red Mage and enjoy it. If your goal is Eden, it can tackle that easy. If your goal is bleeding edge prog, Red Mage will be a good choice through the first three floors of any tier on release, but have a second caster prepped if you're not ready to pull out all of RDM's stops. Finding a good group is going to be your first challenge no matter what job you play, as well :)