It is possible to do this with a certain program we aren't allowed to talk about, sadly I don't think we'll get officially supported addons anytime soon as last time I heard about it they said they had put it on hold.
Printable View
Not sure if anyone already said this, but there's an option to display only the effects you apply in:
Character configuration > UI Settings > HUD > Targets > Display only detrimental effects you inflict.
This will make only your debuffs show and still show the targets buffs if he has any. I agree that it would be better to get two rows, one for your effects and one for everyone else, but for now this is the only option.
if they could separate dots and other debuffs/buffs that would be great. i don't need to see everyone else dots.
With the example picture, you wouldn't. If you look at it, there are two icons of the first kind (don't know which skill it is, since it's for a job I don't play). One is your application of the debuff, with the ticking timer (see the 14) at the bottom of it. The other is the number of identical debuffs on the target (currently 25). If one of those other players' debuff falls off, it'd switch to 24. At least that's how I read the picture. The verbal description feels a bit more confusing to me, especially since it doesn't describe what can be seen in the picture ^^;
Of course, if you prefer to see the timers on other players' debuffs as well as your own, then yeah, you'd lose those.
Ideally, it should be a setting to compress buffs and debuffs like that. That way those who want or need to keep track of the timers on others' debuffs can do that, and those who just want less clutter can get that. Or you could switch depending on situation (like, turn it on if you end up in a 24-man with 5 SMN, 2 BRD and 3 SCH, but turn it off for when you do 4-man stuff).
Oh man haha. I know this conversation was over a week ago but my goodness this was an amazing read.
"Warriors can make me do more damage by applying my debuff for me so I can do better things? HOW DARE THEY I'll just keep putting it on anyway, who cares if my damage is crap from all these pointless re-applications they shouldn't be trying to help me in a team game!"
Well it only makes sense that a DOT issue, will have a problem, ongoing, Over Time, as well.