SE's inability to protect players from stalking/harassment

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Originally Posted by Darthgummibear

Every gaming forum I've been on in the last 10-15 years has been awful, I wasn't expecting this to be much different even though the in-game community is fantastic.

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I literally come here just to roast marshmallows over the dumpster fires. Its my version of staring at car wrecks.

Like in this thread, I was actually rooting for this person until I saw them bumping their thread repeatedly. Now I just blocked them. And yet ironically I still see the thread, so maybe SE does need to put in some better ways to not see people.

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Originally Posted by hynaku

Last time someone stalked me I just used a name change also a race change then made sure to blacklist them and not be in any of there link shells.

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That would have worked if this player didn't have my lodestone page available. Unfortunately, if you name change the old name still stays attached to your lodestone page.

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Originally Posted by RobynDaBank

Because that's not cheap and will need the person to start over completely, which isn't easy no matter how long or short your playtime already is.

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Point is as the person being harassed sometimes you have to make sacrifices due to the lack of help help from the authorities. It is unfortunate that such actions need to be taken but the unfortunate reality is sometimes the victim has to taken steps to avoid further harassment instead of simply crying for help.from others.

It is not fair but if a person is feeling distressed by such actions I would say their personal sanity is worth the extra cost in terms of time and money to gain a sense if peace at mind.

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Originally Posted by Bobby66

Point is as the person being harassed sometimes you have to make sacrifices due to the lack of help help from the authorities. It is unfortunate that such actions need to be taken but the unfortunate reality is sometimes the victim has to taken steps to avoid further harassment instead of simply crying for help.from others.

It is not fair but if a person is feeling distressed by such actions I would say their personal sanity is worth the extra cost in terms of time and money to gain a sense if peace at mind.

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All the more reason to advocate for players to have more privacy options. I agree 100% that it is the individual's responsibility to take care of themself, but I also don't think it's right that people are being forced to make these choices when it all could have been prevented with just a few adjustments to privacy features on behalf of Square Enix.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

All the more reason to advocate for players to have more privacy options. I agree 100% that it is the individual's responsibility to take care of themself, but I also don't think it's right that people are being forced to make these choices when it all could have been prevented with just a few adjustments to privacy features on behalf of Square Enix.

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I agree but i fall in the camp we advocate all we want but to me it mostly seems like blind hope which is generally useless imo.

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Originally Posted by Bobby66

I agree but i fall in the camp we advocate all we want but to me it mostly seems like blind hope which is generally useless imo.

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I don't have much faith in SE to fix their issues either, but at least I am trying. The only true failures occur when we never try at all- There is enough hope in that for me to give it a go.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

Still waiting for SE to remove my stalker from my FC lawn, despite their blatant harassment in their search info & messages they've written in my own message books & friends. GM's are useless.

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If you're on PC there is a way to just make a player's character completely invisible. Something about a launcher or so a friend told me. ;P

On topic: The measures put in place right now or lack thereof are enabling harassment. No, you can't change my mind.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

I don't have much faith in SE to fix their issues either, but at least I am trying. The only true failures occur when we never try at all- There is enough hope in that for me to give it a go.

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You do you, seems like a wasted effort. Trying just for the sake of trying is not a good quality imo but yeah.

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Originally Posted by Bobby66

You do you, seems like a wasted effort. Trying just for the sake of trying is not a good quality imo but yeah.

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Trying for the sake of pushing changes, regardless of the results. At least I can say I tried & did everything on my end to encourage something positive from all of the harassment & I am just doing what SE encourages players to do- post feedback in forums.
They recently made changes to their harassment policies, so clearly they are trying, but literally in none of the ways that matter. The individual player needs more options for privacy, not "consequences" that still rely on GMs to do something.
All of my harassment could have been avoided if this player couldn't see my location 24/7. It would be really helpful if players could hide their location in player search and in lodestone, without needing a mod to do so. PS4 doesn't mod either, so there is that.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

Trying for the sake of pushing changes, regardless of the results. At least I can say I tried & did everything on my end to encourage something positive from all of the harassment & I am just doing what SE encourages players to do- post feedback in forums.
They recently made changes to their harassment policies, so clearly they are trying, but literally in none of the ways that matter. The individual player needs more options for privacy, not "consequences" that still rely on GMs to do something.
All of my harassment could have been avoided if this player couldn't see my location 24/7. It would be really helpful if players could hide their location in player search and in lodestone, without needing a mod to do so. PS4 doesn't mod either, so there is that.

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As mentioned do you. I personally find the action moot SE has had years to adjust their stance. I gave ya a few bumps fight the good fight.

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Originally Posted by Bobby66

As mentioned do you. I personally find the action moot SE has had years to adjust their stance. I gave ya a few bumps fight the good fight.

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I appreciate you, and all feedback is valuable. :)

Still being harassed, still posting til it ends. Do better Square Enix. You haven't updated these features since 1.0. DO BETTER!!!

Didn't they just update there policy about this?
I think instead of posting on the forums you should be trying to gather information to submit a formal report about this.

They "updated" a policy that still relies on GM mediation. I have plenty of screenshots of the harassment and proof of her stalking, calling me names, harassing my FC memebers who have also reported it, and still nothing. Why are blacklisted players allowed to still write in message books? Why can my harrasser still see my location and who I am affiliated (FC)? Why can they blatantly leave harassment in their alt's search info and then that alt is allowed to stay at my FC? It's honestly ridiculous.

GM's are useless. We don't need "updated" policies that don't get acted upon; players need more features that they can utilize themselves to avoid the harassment and this particular player should have been banned 2yrs ago when it all began.

Their FC leader has removed them from their FC to make a statement about how that kind of behaviour isn't okay, but i suspect that she won't care and that the harassment is only going to go on until SE finally bans her or I have more privacy features to prevent it on my own. This person literally has no moral boundaries and SE just enables that by doing nothing to end it!

How do yall get stalkers. Don't no body ever talk to me.

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Originally Posted by IdowhatIwant

How do yall get stalkers. Don't no body ever talk to me.

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I don't know why this made me laugh, but it did.

She was originally someone else's stalker (irl even) but decided to stalk me when I warned that person to block/delete her from everything when they were using suicide threats to manipulate this person into feeling that they were responsible for her life and had to be her friend to keep her from ending herself. She is literally the worst kind of person and I would have said/done the same for anyone being manipulated in the same way.

https://c.tenor.com/9kR9JA9_tlMAAAAC/awkward-yikes.gif

I do think that if I remove someone from friends list then I should automatically be removed from their friends list. Same for if I block someone. They should be blocked from looking me up.

As for the particular case of the op all I can say is what has been said before report the stalker and provide any evidence you can. There is no one here on the forums that can do anything to help you.

With the other person showing up and claiming the reverse is true, it is just impossible to separate who is right and who is wrong from forum posts so I make no judgement at all. (unless they are actually the same person arguing with themselves in which case it is all too absurd to be believed)

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Originally Posted by Myrany

I do think that if I remove someone from friends list then I should automatically be removed from their friends list. Same for if I block someone. They should be blocked from looking me up.

As for the particular case of the op all I can say is what has been said before report the stalker and provide any evidence you can. There is no one here on the forums that can do anything to help you.

With the other person showing up and claiming the reverse is true, it is just impossible to separate who is right and who is wrong from forum posts so I make no judgement at all. (unless they are actually the same person arguing with themselves in which case it is all too absurd to be believed)

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I stand by my truth and I have faith that something will come of this. I also stand by my request to get the harassment to end and for Square Enix to add features that will prevent situations like this from happening. Whether anyone in this thread believes one side or the other, there is clearly an issue at hand that could have been prevented with better privacy features.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

I stand by my truth and I have faith that something will come of this. I also stand by my request to get the harassment to end and for Square Enix to add features that will prevent situations like this from happening. Whether anyone in this thread believes one side or the other, there is clearly an issue at hand that could have been prevented with better privacy features.

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In case you didn't notice I made 2 suggestions SE could implement to make stalking much harder.

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Originally Posted by Myrany

In case you didn't notice I made 2 suggestions SE could implement to make stalking much harder.

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I did notice, for sure! I just hope that SE takes notice that many others in the forums have been speaking out in support of better features too.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

I stand by my truth and I have faith that something will come of this. I also stand by my request to get the harassment to end and for Square Enix to add features that will prevent situations like this from happening. Whether anyone in this thread believes one side or the other, there is clearly an issue at hand that could have been prevented with better privacy features.

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My truth, idk maybe I just have zero faith in people but generally when people use that line they are normally lying. :P

I blocked them so I don't know what they're saying nor do I care really. I just wanted to come here and say my piece. I don't really care what they say about me, it doesn't bother me and they're blocked everywhere anyway. But my bf is bothered by all of it. Especially with the messages sent to friends and family of ours. He did not appreciate what was said about either of us. I am not happy with what was said about him and I will defend him. The fact that someone will go as far as stalking down our facebooks and doing this should say enough. I have this person's information from when they were our so-called "friend" and will take them to court if needed. Right now it's more important for me to be there for my boyfriend while he's losing his dad.

Good night all and thank you for listening.

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Originally Posted by Bobby66

My truth, idk maybe I just have zero faith in people but generally when people use that line they are normally lying. :P

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"Whether anyone in this thread believes one side or the other, there is clearly an issue at hand that could have been prevented with better privacy features."

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

"Whether anyone in this thread believes one side or the other, there is clearly an issue at hand that could have been prevented with better privacy features."

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I'm not sure Facebook stalking can be prevented with game privacy settings, but yes, lodestone id's should be hidden.

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Originally Posted by Lumiena

I blocked them so I don't know what they're saying nor do I care really. I just wanted to come here and say my piece. I don't really care what they say about me, it doesn't bother me and they're blocked everywhere anyway. But my bf is bothered by all of it. Especially with the messages sent to friends and family of ours. He did not appreciate what was said about either of us. I am not happy with what was said about him and I will defend him. The fact that someone will go as far as stalking down our facebooks and doing this should say enough. I have this person's information from when they were our so-called "friend" and will take them to court if needed. Right now it's more important for me to be there for my boyfriend while he's losing his dad.

Good night all and thank you for listening.

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If this has gone to real life then your best bet is to take it all to law enforcement. SE has no power outside their own game.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

"Whether anyone in this thread believes one side or the other, there is clearly an issue at hand that could have been prevented with better privacy features."

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In game privacy features would not have done much to protect someone outside of the game. The sad reality is privacy is dead, if your information is out on the web and someone is willing to try hard enough they will find it. Sooner people accept this is the reality of the internet the better imo.

They should have an option to block entire accounts from contacting you or only letting friends whisper you.

They also need to make it so you can go Dark as in no one can search your location outside friends.

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Originally Posted by Tanis_Ebonhart

They should have an option to block entire accounts from contacting you or only letting friends whisper you.

They also need to make it so you can go Dark as in no one can search your location outside friends.

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Thanks for sharing.
I think it would be a good idea if housing had a feature that would allow for players to select who could have access to the housing. Such as allowing everyone inside, only friends of the owner or FC members, or just having the house locked entirely-instead of just locked or unlocked. And/or a similar option for just message books.
That being said, they would also need to fix the one sided deletion of the the friends list.

Honestly, if she is genuine in putting her time into "her bf" and his dad, then I shouldn't expect to be harassed anymore. I did/do NOT want contact with this person at all.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

Honestly, if she is genuine in putting her time into "her bf" and his dad, then I shouldn't expect to be harassed anymore. I did/do NOT want contact with this person at all.

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Well it sounds like it's resolved from the thread. Neither of you want to speak to each other or have anything to do with each other. So you can both just follow what you said and it's all going to be gravy.

SE should add more privacy options but it's probably better if you both just never speak each other's names again. It is, afterall, what you both wanted.

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Originally Posted by Dancingweapon

Well it sounds like it's resolved from the thread. Neither of you want to speak to each other or have anything to do with each other. So you can both just follow what you said and it's all going to be gravy.

SE should add more privacy options but it's probably better if you both just never speak each other's names again. It is, afterall, what you both wanted.

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I seriously have my doubts and all I can say is that I hope Square Enix implements some better features soon. This situation stands to be an example of what is wrong with the current features and why it is important to provide players with options that give them more control of their visibility to other players, especially when blacklisted. This situation would not have continued if the blacklisting system was actually effective and if players could control who can see their locations/Free Company affiliations. I appreciate those who remain neutral on the drama and focus on coming up with some changes that will prevent instances like this from occurring in game in the future.

Where can I share my screenshots that prove she is lying and manipulating the situation? I'm over this, BEEN OVER IT FOR 2YRS.

some of you people really should stay off the internet. yeesh.

The only time I've reached out to anyone is to ask for HELP to get her to stop harassing me. I have proof of her "bf" denying they're together and denying things she claims. I have proof her friends have come to my FC to try and get her to leave. I have proof of her leaving messages in my message books, despite being blocked. I HAVE PROOF. Additionally, i know for a fact she has no information on me because WE WERE HARDLY FRIENDS FOR A WEEK. I was only friends with "her bf" which has led her to behave in this crazy manner for the last two years to stalk and harass me. I'm really not surprised she would blast your bf's personal business to seek sympathy when she would also use suicide as a way to manipulate people. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I thought you had better things to do than to harass me anymore??? 100% you will not stop and leave me alone until SE either bans you or implements features for privacy that are worth a damn.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

Where can I share my screenshots that prove she is lying and manipulating the situation? I'm over this, BEEN OVER IT FOR 2YRS.

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You can upload screenshots to imgur and then link the album here.

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Originally Posted by Chie_M

You can upload screenshots to imgur and then link the album here.

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Is it against ToS?

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

Is it against ToS?

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As long as names are hidden then screenshots are fine but anything that has people name on is due to naming and shaming. Those images I suggest go to support.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

The only time I've reached out to anyone is to ask for HELP to get her to stop harassing me. I have proof of her "bf" denying they're together and denying things she claims. I have proof her friends have come to my FC to try and get her to leave. I have proof of her leaving messages in my message books, despite being blocked. I HAVE PROOF. Additionally, i know for a fact she has no information on me because WE WERE HARDLY FRIENDS FOR A WEEK. I was only friends with "her bf" which has led her to behave in this crazy manner for the last two years to stalk and harass me. I'm really not surprised she would blast your bf's personal business to seek sympathy when she would also use suicide as a way to manipulate people. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I thought you had better things to do than to harass me anymore??? 100% you will not stop and leave me alone until SE either bans you or implements features for privacy that are worth a damn.

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Use your own features for privacy, and stop speaking. Stop reacting. Both of you. Who cares about proof? It's he said/she said at this point, and SE has the logs. ALL of them, not just snippets. Be the adult. Take a deep breath, and simply move on. If there's no reaction, there's no issue. It's not easy, everyone has been insulted, but you can stop it. The others can stop it. But someone needs to.

On a general note, yeah, I do wish SE would implement better tools. It helps keep people from taking things too far.