The greatest lolwut moments on a duty

I had a tank throw a hissy fit that I was using an atma weapon... in Amdapor Keep.

I once tanked Ifrit.

As a WHM.

So I was doing expert with a pld friend a couple of days ago, we got AK hm, I'm on blm. Well, the first like five? pulls, I notice our other blm is just spamming physick on themself, which then they eventually just start spamming fire 2. Well ok, not perfect but they're doing damage now. Instead of doing blizzard 3 or even tranpose, they just sit there and wait for astral fire to wear off and get mp back >_>
So I tried giving some advice, got no reply or anything. They stood in every single AoE too, repeatedly dying over and over. After a while they just started spamming flare, then waiting for astral fire to wear again, then flaring when they got mp. On the last boss they died about 6-7 times, by never moving out of AoEs or anything.

Now, before you say, it could be someone who's new to blm and trying it out....They had nexus >_> They got through all of relic, all their books and all their lights as blm and have no idea how to play it.
I swear, it had to have been a bot, theres no way someone is that bad



>_> Another lolwut moment was around summer last year, I was lvling war. I had the absolute best gear I could get for my level, as in, the best dungeon gear etc. Well, I had a smn and whm in my pt constantly throwing a fit about how my gear "isn't good enough to tank" etc....what? lol were they expecting a lvl 40 to have full i90+? Best part? the smn was lvl 44, wearing lvl 20-28 gear and the whm was no better lol

---a person queue for Stone Vigil as a SCH. They normally main SMN and after the first pull and subsequent wipe says, "I'm not a healing machine!" without ever having cast a physick.

A about a week ago I was asked to tank a dungeon by a friend, he was blm trying to get to 50 and since I needed exp on my PLD, I agreed. Initially we were going to go into AV but his friend join us and he could only do SV, so I'm like 'meh whatev, exp is exp'.
We go in and our fourth is a level 42 lancer. We were pretty dumbstruck. So the blm asks why he was still a lancer?
The answer was 'because I'm lazy" after a few failed attempts to speak to him, you know- just in case.... we gave up trying to make logic of it.

Funniest part was at start when the blm was like 'You don't even have a neckpiece' and the lancer responded, 'here, a mage neck piece just for you' and wore it the entire run. When we finally killed the pekaboo dragon a mythril earring dropped and the LNC got it, the blm responds 'should have given you a damned neckpiece'
and our healer chimed in 'it's ok, the earring is for mages too'.
I died a little. XD

Saddest part of it all was, he wasn't a terribad player except for the whole not being a DRG and the improper gear in certain slots.

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Originally Posted by LalaRu

Fresh today: Copperbell Mines (low), slime room. A lancer were killing the spawning caps, even we telling him not to do. The tank were running around all the room as if the slimes were killing machines. Me (healer) and arch go sit in a corner waiting how much time needs before they will understand that hitting the slime boss is pointless, and that does not hit so hard to make tank running as an headless chicken.

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I kite the slime boss as tank just because I can. My "game" for this encounter is to kite the slimes in such a way that they're virtually just turning around in the same place yet can't land a hit on me.

It isn't always what it seems on the surface. You know... ;)

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Originally Posted by Talia_Hailwind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPhfnhW9fmg

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(•_•) It looks like
( •_•)>⌐■-■ not a single DPS
(⌐■_■) escaped from the crumbling walls

(Video happened to end at the "From the crumbling walls no one escapes" part of the lyric, hence the joke)

Shiva Ex - want-to-clear group, was one of the few who cleared it already, but need some Gems for my final Shiva 115 Weapon.
Tank dashed off, even before Safespots were declared or Protes was given. (Quote: "I don´t give a F*** for Protes")...

Every major AoE, 1-2 DDs died, in the big circle half the team ate Stacks like fresh muffins...

Healed the hell out of it, and cleared it after about the 5th try, (didn´t think this would happen).

the topping: Pony came (don´t care really for mounts, but nice to have anyway), tought "I so deserve this", rolled a respectable 80... tank outrolled me...

Two stand outs for me from all my dungeon runs:

The lv 50 SCH in Brayflox NM who kept running out of mana. Literally had to explain the whole Aetherflow concept to him.
The SMN in Garuda EX who, when I asked why she didn't have a pet out, replied 'Because it's too much trouble, so I never use it". I think I still have the spacebar imprint on my forehead from headdesking so hard.

Hmmm lolwuts... too many to count but a few that are amusing:

Queue for drlow get tamtara - tank quits at start - I say let's see how far we can go(while at the same time asking for tanks in LSs and FCs). We make it to first boss - kill it, second boss - kill it, last boss - while fighting him one of my friends joins in progress but by then we kill it hehe.

While leveling my THM I get into iffy nm - new player notice so ok might be a wipe or two... tank rushes off to start tanking it... I position myself and start DPSing... tank runs all over the place with iffy so I pop some CDs and soon I'm tanking iffy nm while healer is keeping me up - and we clear it.

Biggest lolwut - CT at Behemot(and this was when i90 was still relevant).

Alliance chat: who's OT?

NO SINGLE TANK SAYS A WORD.

So I go: ok I'll tank iron giants on my bard. One of our healers goes: ok I'll keep you up.

Yes with 6 tanks in the group I as the bard was the one tanking the iron giants and that's without dying once.

This is one of my greatest lolwut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QthSHJt_0Ck

This is the result of a semi-wipe where the SCH used LB3 just before he died leaving Melusine without a clue of what was happening xD Notice that she is just auto-attacking basically.

Was in WP (story) for my book. Tank mentions it's their first time in WP as tank. Progress was a bit slow, but I could deal with it. It got a little hairy at times because the tonberry stalker caught up with the group. I did inform them that the stalker can be LOS'd. The Black Mage often tell the tank to bring mobs to various spots so as to avoid getting poinked by the tonberry stalker.

Was doing Copperbell (hard) for my book. Tank mentions that this was his first time in the dungeon as a tank. Sure, I'm cool with that, but their name seemed familiar and I was fairly certain it was the exact same tank I got in WP. On the second boss, tank & healer both die, but the other Dragoon and myself manage to down the boss. On the last boss the healer picks up each crystal and sets them down for the worm. We quickly run out so we wipe. As the healer, Dragoon & myself are making our way to the last boss, the tank uses LB. We did finally beat the boss. The other Dragoon had to pick up my slack because I was busying planting the crystals at the right time.

I joined a group in PF last week. It was listed as a "Leviathan HM learning group". I figured me and a few buddies would go in and tear stuff up, bonus tomes as well.

We join, then the leader goes "Oh, this was suppose to be a Ramuh Ex learning group"....wut

I went to queue in progress as a tank and I ended up in a party that was ERPing

did you know that two ACN (not having their job yet) and their pets can beat Halatali NM ? Tank and healer left at the start dont ask me why no clues. Other ACN and myself looked at each other and we said, ok lets try while we wait....we didnt think we could make it but...we did ! we died a few times mostly at snakes but what a blast. I was slightly undergeared so I couldnt finish the last boss I died at 50 % hp but the other ACN and her pet finished it.. a tank +healer showed up and were soo frustrated LOL...

that was a great moment...and soo peaceful

Mei

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Originally Posted by myahele

I went to queue in progress as a tank and I ended up in a party that was ERPing

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Saucy. How far into it were they? XD

Mog extreme where the king casts the last killer aoe, screen went black, cast occured, everyone died but 3 people managed to still stand and won the fight..

Tanked Titan HM as sch. It was at his 20% or so with both tanks smashed and few dps alive. Surivived turntables and stuff by collective healing. Thanks to DPS Titan died right after I ran out of all aetherflows I could use.
Stared at my monitor way too long after that.

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Originally Posted by Merle

Exactly <3

I guess the monk didn't know how to manage his skills

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A monk's aoe is extremely pitiful to that of summoners, bards, and black mages. Don't bother.

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Originally Posted by Adrian74

~snip due to character limit~

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DEFINITELY know how you feel!

Does anyone here remember the old classic Everquest? Not EQII or any of their remakes. The original - from like 1999. MMO games were really hooking back then and people would literally spend hundreds or even over 1000 dollars on Ebay to buy an account with a geared max level character. people were bloody making careers out of leveling and selling EQ accounts. I was SO stupid not to do that, but I am one of those that if i level a character, he is mine and mine alone and no one is touching him regardless of price.

Now that the back history is explained, you'll understand my bit on this:

I have a macro that says "Hello, all. I just started playing today and bought this character off Ebay, so please bear with me while I learn the controls!"

In all of the runs I have done, I have never been vote-kicked. In fact all but one party got the joke and just laughed, and, like the poster I snipped a quote to above, I get a LOT of comms for making people laugh (it isn't just about being a healer or tank - sometimes it's about having a good time, ye know?) But my LOLWUT moment was when a player read my macro, did NOT get the joke, and proceeded to bombard the chat with his VERY long lecture on ethics in gaming and his views on buying characters, etc. We waited for him to rage quit. he tried to vote kick me and the rest of the party slapped him down. He sat at the spawn point to the dungeon while the other three of us started clearing out trash. We finally got to the first boss and . . . you guessed it . . . Mr. Ethics was still ranting on. He wouldn't leave and he wouldn't move from his spot so we vote kicked him.

it was a DPS of course. (Don't kill me I am just trolling with that remark LOL)

I have since, however, narrowed my macro to just "Hello, all, I just started today so bear with me as I learn my job." This still draws a lot of laughs when people panic and inspect my gear (currently i115-ish on my healer).

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Originally Posted by myahele

I went to queue in progress as a tank and I ended up in a party that was ERPing

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... Okay that one is definitely priceless. I'd have jumped in with something like "Oh yes. baby just look at the fat, naked, hairy midgets forcing themselves onto a wooden lawn gnome in the front yard. Let's get started, baby" and see how they react.

P.S. i hope you all just enjoyed that image XD

Got into a Tam-Tara run on my Thm for low level roulette. Tank was doing ready check every pull. lolwut?

Over a year ago I was doing Ifrit HM as SCH in the DF and every one besides myself and the pld must have been new, because by first rotation after the nails everyone was dead because they kept eating all of the aoe. This is back when you normally used caster LB3 to kill the nails. After trying to raise the other tank and healer a few times and having them die immediately afterward the pld and I built the LB3 back up and I used Pulse of Life. Within two rotations everyone was dead again. So we built LB3 up again, and just when it is built I spent a second too long trying to get a physick off, ate an eruption and died.

We cleared the second time though. :)

Went in copperbell (nm) on low level lancer with an FC mate on low level tank. The other DPS was an arcanist with his topaz carbunkle out (and wouldn't listen about summoning emerald, instead). Needless to say, there were a lot of issues caused by it when the topaz is fighting for aggro on everything (the slime boss was a nightmare -_- The arcanist trying to kill the slimes, the topaz agro-spinning everything (including bomb), the bomb being DoTed by who I think was the scholar and killed prematurely over and over again... All I could do was watch all this unfold on my FC mate from my spriggan spawn murder point...).

DFed Garuda EX on my bard. Newbie tank (OTing) in for the first time. One wipe because he didn't separate the sisters (prob didn't realize). MT proceeds to immediately primadonna and try to get the newbie tank kicked asap - "this tank is useless". Dude, the guy said he was new at the very beginning... or did your ego get in the way of your screen? Luckily, the party and I were more than willing to help the new guy out for future runs, so the idiot tank left instead. Newbie tank learns, tries harder/to our instructions. One healer proceeds to die to the first shriek, every time (just total tanking it to the face while everyone else is hiding), but continues to poke at the newbie tank about keeping the sisters apart (checked the tank's gear after a few wipes - was lower than the rest of us, so he was having aggro problems) after every wipe... And yet was dying to the very first mechanic in the fight.... every time. I Jackie Chan face'd my monitor just before we vote abandoned from another wipe.

I did Shiva EX through DF the other day and the paladin was using a weathered Burtgang with the Shiva sword glamoured over it. I was really confused about why someone would use an i100 weapon instead of the i115 one.

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Originally Posted by Noshpan

Copperbell HM: On the last boss the healer picks up each crystal and sets them down for the worm.

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I have a similar incident at the boss we had a new healer we explained when the rocks had to be placed and that I would take care of it ( I explained it so that they would know for future runs). They proceed to pull all the rocks early I kept telling them to stop.. we wipe a few times. After a few wipes the healer said that maybe I should help them with the rocks and I explained again what I said before the first time -.- that the rocks need to be placed at certain times and that I was waiting for the right time to place them.

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Originally Posted by OlyverW

I have a similar incident at the boss we had a new healer we explained when the rocks had to be placed and that I would take care of it ( I explained it so that they would know for future runs). They proceed to pull all the rocks early I kept telling them to stop.. we wipe a few times. After a few wipes the healer said that maybe I should help them with the rocks and I explained again what I said before the first time -.- that the rocks need to be placed at certain times and that I was waiting for the right time to place them.

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Had the exact opposite happen. Was queued SCH and told the SMN and DRG to just worry about DPSing because I would feed. SMN proceeds to plop rocks all over the place. Que wipe.

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Originally Posted by Viridiana

Had the exact opposite happen.

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I guess there is always one sometimes and it doesn't matter the role