Or, food for thought.
Maybe it's actually your fault.
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+1
If I get cocky and pull an entire area and miss a CD or something, and I cause a wipe, then I lol it off and apologize. I generally still get a Comm or two. At the same time, I don't START the run off pulling the entire area. I pull maybe two groups to see if we can handle it, then I increase it based on the kill rate.
I do this a lot, and I won't apologize for causing stress on the healer. If the dps pull, I'll voke it. If they pull again, I'll kindly ask them to stop. If they do it a third time, then I'll let that particular person tank.
In one incident, a NIN pulled a group after he told me to stfu. When the other two mobs went for the healer, I protected the healer. The NIN was still fighting the mob. I let him keep it while I ran off to grab the next group. Sadly, the healer gets caught up in our antics, but oh well.
Not like you are a shit tank that should never again play tank, but surely things get edgy.
You should apologise? Pride will hurt.
You should sit silent? You can as well switch tabs to "Battle" and keep going. If they kick you (which rather won't happen, escpecially that rest of the party will most likely ignore the wipe like you), they will probably hurt only themsleves.
You should ask healer if they are fine with big pulls (if not tank's fault)? 7/10 healers will make legit answer and you will adjust gameplay to their answer. those 3 won't answer and will overheal with cure 2 each auto-attack you get and shall not turn cleric even once for the rest of dungeon.
I base that on my experience and since i have lifer 3 achievment i consider myself competent to give such salty answer!
Bonus info: first option is also triggering all those cute and sweet moments straight from romantic comedies- "Oh no, it was definietely my fault, so sorry!" "No no, i shouldn't make such pull so sorry!".
I love it when my entire party has patience, not just the tank. I see an equal amount of dps/healers explaining mechanics. But yeah, anyone would get frustrated if someone is making the same mistakes over and over without improvement.
I'm not going to pull extra (as a dps or healer) just because I think we could, when we are doing just fine as is. I see a lot of people in DF groups that just want to get through content as fast as possible without even saying hello...
Some tanks have limited patience.
And there are some that are really carefree! Like if no one got hit or died: demn he's cool as eff :D And even if someone got hit or died: demn he's still cool as eff.
We tanks are cool :D