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I never use quelling strikes and never steal aggro in level appropriate dungeons. It's all about timing auto attacks between abilities. When helping with lower dungeons, though, it seems because my gear level is so significantly higher than the tank, my aggro builds up faster, but if I auto attack for a few seconds, it usually counteracts that.
As above, you're not reaching full your damage potential by doing that. Learn to love it, learn to use it appropriately. Realise that it allows you do more DPS, and therefore helps everyone.