FF 14 jokes

Did you ever notice how paladins always leave the toilet seat up? That's the joke.

An Archer, Ranger and a Bard walk into a bar.

Bard: Oh look, they're having a battle of the bands tonight.

Ranger: Shame, I can't play any songs.

Archer: Neither can I unfortunately.

Bard: Yeah..... urmm ....me neither....

Development... anyone?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kumabear76

"wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

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OMG dude that's the funniest joke in the thread so far LMFAO, I love it, you other one is pretty good too

There was once a hole in the ground.
He tried to walk over it, but the Lala fell.

Once upon a time in Erozea, there was soo many adventurers and sell swords the city-states had to make suburban areas for them at the expense of the lower class.

Then the adventurers found out only rich people can own a house in those areas.

Now the city-states are forced to accommodate now only poor citizens but also poor adventures as well, solving none of the problems they sought to fix.

Only Ul'Dah's syndicate doesn't gave a crap.

Why do Monks prefer the Wendy's Kids Meal? Because they can never finish the Triple Stack.

Why is you can not watch video in game but watch all the videos on youtube?

See:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Amelia_Pond_Behemoth

... Cutscenes? Unacceptable? But if you dare skip one youtube video...

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Titan has had a bad time recently, and is talking it over with Ifrit at his place. The hour is late, but the two slowly work their way toward a solution to Titan's apparent relationship distress.

Ifrit: Are you telling me you didn't see this coming?

Titan: I just never thought the plumes would be a problem...

Ifrit: Bro, we both know Garuda is soaring hot, but you gotta learn to say no! You have to make a stand!

Titan: *Sigh* I don't know... I still haven't told her about the contagious rash spreading all over my trial platform since our last date.

Ifrit: What rash?

Titan lowers his head and slowly covers his face in shameful embarrassement.

Titan: I've got the Dragoons.


OOOOOH SNAP!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kumabear76

"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

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I lol'd for a good while at this one.

Keep them coming. This reminds me of the meme thread =D

Titan walks into a bar.
Bartender: What's wrong, buddy? Someone broke your heart?

CAUTION: Please be careful when visiting The Navel, there are no guard railings or fences to stop you from falling

So this player starts doing something in the game that requires RNG to succeed.

Did you hear about the hungry RMT? He got bananaed.

https://38.media.tumblr.com/995214ca...bw5lo1_500.jpg

Living with Miqo’te




https://33.media.tumblr.com/407617c9...oo9so1_500.png
https://38.media.tumblr.com/0cc85228...oo9so2_500.png

"IGNIS TURN THE CAR AROUND NOW!!!"



Taken from tumblr

A joke eh?

So this Hyur comes into a bar...

No wait it was a chocobo!

So this Hyur comes into a chocobo...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kiroh

A joke eh?

So this Hyur comes into a bar...

No wait it was a chocobo!

So this Hyur comes into a chocobo...

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Silly Highlanders

Gogmagolem walks into a bar, the bartender says "what would you & your wife like?", Gogmagolem says "That's not my wife, that's my subligar!"

You call that a knife? Now this, is a knife!

http://i62.tinypic.com/20h3bx5.jpg

What rank is Stinging Sophie?

a B rank

:D

Your chocobo's so fat, when it jumped people thought Dalamud had returned to the sky.

Your chocobo's so fat you need to buy a whole housing district just to stable it.

How do you drown a DRG?
Put an AoE at the bottom of a lake.

I know these are dumb but somebody had to start the whole your chocobo's so fat thing and dumb blonde jokes + DRG make for an endless supply of jokes.

A Black Mage, White Mage and Arcanist walk into a bar, The Arcanist asks "What do you think I should go with; Attacks or Psysicks?"

The Black Mage says "Dude you should go with dealing a Tonze of damage"

The White Mage says "No he should devote himself to the healing arts."

While the two mages bicker, the Arcanist "Why not both?" and shrugs

The Black Mage responds "Cause if you focus too much on your mind, you would make an ineffetive Summoner"

The White Mage responds "But if you focus to much on Intelligence you will leave a lot to be desired as a Scholar."

Baffled, the Arcanists says "So you mean to say that Scholars are actually DUMBER than Summoners?"

Why did the adventurer take his chocobo to see a therapist?
He got tired of its constant kweh kweh'ing.

Here are some lame jokes...

Why didn't the Black Mage return?

Because he was not back in Black.

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Why was there only Monks in a Group?

Because Everyone was Kung Fu Fighting!

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Why was the Warrior mad at the Culinarian?

Because his Meat Axe is Raw!

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What did the Paladin order from the Culinarian?

A Meat Shield!

Lameness inc:

What's the best way to defeat a water sprite?
- Enjoying it with ice

What is Amalj'aas' mortal enemy?
- Megalocrab's bubbleshower

What is Chuck Norris' chocobo's name?
- Clucknorris

Why do Monks always lose at Jenga?

Because they have trouble maintaining stacks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Garlyle

Why do Monks always lose at Jenga?

Because they have trouble maintaining stacks

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Damn you! That hurt my feels.

"His rotations carry a weight that would break a casual's jaw."
"He's a lover, not a raider; but he's also a raider, so don't get any ideas."
"He is the key to raids he has never attended."
"His sword alone has slain more than a casual's entire body."
"He once soloed Titan EX. That's right. You heard me."
"If he were to own your team at Frontlines, you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him."
"If he's on you PF, you would put it in your shouts."
"Both jobs of his Arcanist are BiS."
"Primals have a week dedicated to him."
"He once lost in a PuG raid, just to see how it feels."
"He is... The Most Elite Player in the World."

WHM - -Has no mana; Hey bard, why aren't you singing!?
BRD - I don't sing, I play songs on my harp I pulled out of no where. -Trollface.png;
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
No wonder they never sing! O: ...Yeah mine sucked oh well LOL.

What does a Monk and the local weed man have in common? They both do blunt damage

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Morningstar1337

"His rotations carry a weight that would break a casual's jaw."
"He's a lover, not a raider; but he's also a raider, so don't get any ideas."
"He is the key to raids he has never attended."
"His sword alone has slain more than a casual's entire body."
"He once soloed Titan EX. That's right. You heard me."
"If he were to own your team at Frontlines, you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him."
"If he's on you PF, you would put it in your shouts."
"Both jobs of his Arcanist are BiS."
"Primals have a week dedicated to him."
"He once lost in a PuG raid, just to see how it feels."
"He is... The Most Elite Player in the World."

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Haha! Love the Dos Equis references.


His retainers bring back other people's retainers.
Atma complains about him.
If he were to pat you on the back, you would put it in your Lodestone blog.


That's all I got right now, if I think of more I'll edit them in later. Too early for decent thought process lol...

Your arcanist one made me actually lol haha.

Why is the Sultansworn's haunted house always the scariest? Because it's on hallowed ground with spirits within.


DRG: Hey, BLM, what's that thing you put up between rooms? Y'know, to keep them separate?
BLM (shaking head): Man... a WALL.

Lol the Dos Equis jokes.

He can play dragoon...without dying.
He once solo healed leviathan extreme...as a lancer.
He unlocked the who wants to be a gillionaire achievement...in 42 Eorzea minutes.
He's the reason Odin rarely appears.
Hunt marks wait for him.
His DPS is nearly 515...on his paladin.

I got couple more Dos Equis jokes:

"He bought a personal house... in every ward."
"His Greased Lightning Stacks are always active."
"One time, Twintania saw him and ran away from the coil."
"The Primals worship HIM."
"He complains about handouts...because he doesn't know that he gets them faster than everyone else."
"His MP, TP, CP and GP never run out."
"He can create HQ 3-star items...with one Basic Touch."

He casted Blizzard once at Coerthas Central Highlands and it stayed that way
He taught Gerolt Blacksithing then Blacksmithed all Nexus
he eats Debuffing food to give the Raids a chance at HIM!

He has level 50 on all jobs...including ninja.

When he enters a party finder, it is a full party.

Why is sex with a dragoon not all it's hyped up to be?
Despite the fact that they can full thrust and impulse drive, you can't get anything out of them without giving them a raise first.

Yes it's a necro but it's time to revive this classic and add to it with some new SB inspired humor, plus there are some great jokes in here and I think that the forums could use an injection of light-hearted fun right about now.

"A DRG walks into a bar, everyone else dodges it." ... classic.

Anyways, I'll start it off.

Q: What do tanks think of the new RDM and SAM players.
A: It's a love hate relationship.

Why did the Griffon go to 7-Eleven?
Slurpee!