Going through so much depression and this game is helping me immensely

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Originally Posted by DrWho2010

please seek out a real life therapist and get on medication. please do not use the game to run from your troubles.

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This isn't about using games to run from problems, it's about using a game to help cope with problems. Stop sounding like my dad.

I'd consider it to be a pretty nuanced issue, really. It's one thing to use the game as a way to help alleviate one's problems...but it's another thing entirely to then expect other players to deal with the fallout when things go awry. Which is, unfortunately, alarmingly common within the FFXIV community.

I'm not suggesting that everybody does it, of course, but I've had some unpleasant encounters in the past with individuals who seek to exploit their issues as a way of trying to beg for free items, real world money, or just overshare details that regular people are simply not qualified to weigh in on or untangle.

It happened often enough that I'm very cautious now about who I allow to get close to me in-game. Especially in regards to the gaslighting and manipulative behaviour that can arise in some scenarios.

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Originally Posted by Theodric

I'd consider it to be a pretty nuanced issue, really. It's one thing to use the game as a way to help alleviate one's problems...but it's another thing entirely to then expect other players to deal with the fallout when things go awry. Which is, unfortunately, alarmingly common within the FFXIV community.

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This is too true, my last problem I had in the FF was from people who used their mental problems as excuses for everything they did and a leader of an FC who brought their problems to the FF.

The feeling that the person who created this post feels is something very common in many gaming communities, in Wow it happened to me and I think that all of us who have been playing MMORPG have lived it but unfortunately in FFXIV it is the first game where I see so many people with problems related to the mental health that lead to having a community that I feel is excessively delicate of any slight criticism, not of the game, but of themselves or many people who use these problems as excuses

On reddit many times I have seen people who lose the motivation to play because they have been told something in a dungeon or that they cannot receive some advice without entering into anxiety attacks or even people who hide the chat to not read anything.

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Originally Posted by Nayout

On reddit many times I have seen people who lose the motivation to play because they have been told something in a dungeon or that they cannot receive some advice without entering into anxiety attacks or even people who hide the chat to not read anything.

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Someone being rude in a dungeon can ruin the entire month of someone with no mental problems and make them apprehensive about ever queueing for one again. The effect of a rude person in a dungeon cannot be understated.

Giving advice to a stranger you just met is probably going to be interpreted as you implying they are playing badly. They probably aren't wrong for interpreting it that way either.

Telling them they are playing badly is rude. As I said, being rude can leave a footprint in their mind for a month or more. That's why it's best to just give advice when it's asked for, necessary to defeat a boss, or when you know them outside of the dungeon and aren't trying to type while fighting.

We also have to remember that most people don't do a dungeon to play optimally, they do it to enjoy the story or unwind and the last thing they probably want is someone to disrupt that with their "advice".

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Originally Posted by DrWho2010

if you have to wait or cannot afford professional therapy there are free services available for people to talk to

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Just because you are using these services doesn't mean you shouldn't be gaming. Yes some people use gaming as escapism to a dangerous degree but you don't know OP personally so you don't know if they're doing that, and yet you responded as if they were. That's rude.

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Originally Posted by DrWho2010

Medication will not usually be effective for mild depression

For serious cases medication is very effective.

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How effective medication is depends on the person's situation. It's not only about whether the depression is severe or not, it's really about what solutions will work for that particular person. Lets leave the treatment plans to professionals who actually know the patient's situation and not some random person in an internet forum telling people they don't even know what to do with their health.

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Originally Posted by DrWho2010

Please do not use anecdotal evidence as actual evidence.

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Says the random person telling people what to do with their health.

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Originally Posted by BunniEclair

If you’re mentally ill you’re not allowed to take solace or comfort in a game (or a myriad of hobbies, usually) and say so without at least one person (though usually many) swooping down to tell you to get medication and therapy.

Many people do both of those things and still have bad days, or periods of time. It’s also their choice whether they want either. Can we just let a person express being thankful for a hobby that helps him get through the tough times without immediately rushing to give them medical advice like they’re stupid or living full time in an escapist fantasy? Christ.

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It's very tiresome to have to explain that just because your hobbies are helping you to cope it doesn't mean you're not seeking professional help. OP only wanted to express their gratitude for the game helping them, and then someone took this as an opportunity to preach. People shouldn't have to get into detail about their medical history to escape someone schooling them on how they should take care of their health. Life is hard enough already without dealing with people who assume the worst about you.

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Originally Posted by Jeeqbit

Someone being rude in a dungeon can ruin the entire month of someone with no mental problems and make them apprehensive about ever queueing for one again. The effect of a rude person in a dungeon cannot be understated.

Giving advice to a stranger you just met is probably going to be interpreted as you implying they are playing badly. They probably aren't wrong for interpreting it that way either.

Telling them they are playing badly is rude. As I said, being rude can leave a footprint in their mind for a month or more. That's why it's best to just give advice when it's asked for, necessary to defeat a boss, or when you know them outside of the dungeon and aren't trying to type while fighting.

We also have to remember that most people don't do a dungeon to play optimally, they do it to enjoy the story or unwind and the last thing they probably want is someone to disrupt that with their "advice".

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If advice would shatter your mental health, fix your mindset before playing a game revolving around teamwork.

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Originally Posted by ZedxKayn

If advice would shatter your mental health, fix your mindset before playing a game revolving around teamwork.

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You've missed my point entirely. It's pretty obvious that if you are giving someone advice then you are probably telling them they are playing badly.

If you are doing a dungeon just for fun, that is probably the last thing you want to hear. It's not extreme or savage.

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Originally Posted by DrWho2010

Please do not use anecdotal evidence as actual evidence. Medication will not usually be effective for mild depression however and if you have to wait or cannot afford professional therapy there are free services available for people to talk to. For serious cases medication is very effective. A fellow gamer can be a shoulder to cry on, but they cannot help you in the big picture.

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People were posting their stories about how online interactions helped them cope with depression. It does not mean that that was the only thing those people were doing to combat their depression.

I saw no one stating that the OP shouldn't seek out professional help at all.

Also you shouldn't be giving out medical advice at all either. You're not the OP's doctor. Your original comment should have only mentioned to not forget about seeking professional help if necessary. Not telling the OP to go see a therapist and get on medicine.

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Originally Posted by Jeeqbit

You've missed my point entirely. It's pretty obvious that if you are giving someone advice then you are probably telling them they are playing badly.

If you are doing a dungeon just for fun, that is probably the last thing you want to hear. It's not extreme or savage.

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If that's how they choose to interpret it.
I mean no insult when I give advice, like I don't take it as an insult when I'm given advice. People are just trying to be helpful infinitely more than they are trying to imply whoever they are playing with is bad.

Imagine seeing a nice post the like the OP's and thinking that's an invitation to weigh in on their mental health or treatment when we know absolutely nothing about them.

To the OP: I'm really glad the game has been a help for you during this rough time.

Anything else is none of our business.