PSA

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Originally Posted by Trixxy

Man up and grow some thicker skin - it's a necessity irl just as it is on the net.

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OP has already demonstrated extraordinary courage and strength by not only letting go of this extremely hateful comment, but by coming here to help others cope in a constructive way.

If you or anyone you know has ever suffered from mental health problems, you may understand that better.

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Originally Posted by LadyVal

Best of luck to you in learning how to convey the correct tone you wish to have perceived, then.

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If only it were that easy with text chatting. Even if I learned the perfect way to convey the proper tone I wished to be perceived, it could still be misconstrued. I don't mind the backlash though; people are passionate and have opinions about everything.

I've noticed that topics like this always pit the apathetic against the empathetic in a very destructive way.

I think this topic should be locked before it causes further animosity.

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Originally Posted by Trixxy

Man up and grow some thicker skin - it's a necessity irl just as it is on the net.
Jerks exist everywhere and in this day and age it's better to overcome your own low self-esteem instead of looking for a hugbox.

It's the harsher response but also the more honest one, white Knights won't always be there to protect you from harm.

That being said: XIV already has one of the lesser toxic communities.

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Yes, you should be aware that there won't always be someone to support you, but telling people to just "man up" is like covering all the emotional responses in a blanket.. ifs not healthy, and honestly I find it a bit sexist. Be brave, and work on coping strategies. That's the advice I'd give instead.

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Originally Posted by Zepla

The fact you were so quick to blame the victim is proof that we have a long ways to go towards making this community more tolerant.

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Ah, sorry for not seeing this sooner. Unfortunately, you weren't exactly helping the situation either. You took my original post and took it a step further by defending it, with sarcasm, in a rather extreme way. So, I, in turn, defended your side, sarcastically, with an extreme. OP kind of indirectly got caught in the middle there. I hope you could come to agree with me that we're both to blame on that one.

That is absolutely wrong, and people take PVP way too seriously, hence why in other games i avoid it like a plague

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Originally Posted by Zepla

You seem to be confusing avatars with people. We are all gamers, and that puts us on the same "team" all the time - even when our avatars are on opposing sides.

No, it's not surprising that it happened in PvP- but if this is the "norm," that is NOT OK. And the sooner we can all acknowledge that, the better.

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We might all be gamers, but we are also gamers driven towards a certain goal, and if you provoke someone, they will react. Don't tell me that that's not how people's emotions work, while I don't think people should be THAT passionate about a stupid death in PvP, I will not excuse it. I never said it was the norm either, I said it's to be expected in such a heated gameplay mode where there's always the chance someone is out to get you, even though the behavior is unwarranted as it is a game...

It's not about covering emotions within a blanket, it's about learning that these are things that are not worth an emotional response in the first place - any response whatsoever even.

The ability to not give a damn is powerful and if there's one thing I'd avocate learning then it's just that.

Looking away works, but it's not a long-term solution. Ranting only blows a small matter out of proportion and telling them that they hurt your feelings only gives them what they were after in the first place.

I can relate to the shitty feeling after being told off coldly but I'd never dare using the term "mental-health problems" as an excuse to not even try.
It may be more difficult for some than it is for others, but hell if it's not impossible.

"The Say, Party, Yell, and Shout chat channels can be used during PvP matches. However, players can only see messages from members of their own team."

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Originally Posted by Trixxy

Man up and grow some thicker skin - it's a necessity irl just as it is on the net.

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Just FYI, telling someone with mental health issues to just "grow some thicker skin" is like telling someone with a broken leg to just "walk it off".