I'd say the opposite. afk is flat out lying about why you're kicking them. But it is harassment by action to go in there and spiritbond off the work of others.
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The way I look at it is that one shouldn't be doing something that hurts the group unless it was otherwise agreed upon. If a DPS chooses to be in crafting/gathering gear for SB purposes, that's fine... but then the tank and healer should also be allowed to do the same. I'm quite certain the DPS that started it all wouldn't be happy about the inevitable wipes to come. Otherwise, that's essentially abuse of the system and a semi-issue of harassment towards the group.
I hate to be that "person" but I have to remind you that other people do play this game.
The world does not revolve around you and the quicker you accept that the better.
If you don't like it, there is always the leave dungeon button.
I have done this and did better than the idiot in appropriate ILvl gear. Gear doesn't always make the player, skill does.
Titan Ex and HM should have taught you this. All the gear in the world doesn't save you from being a baddie.
That's all totally irrelevant as you can just queue in your proper gear then switch to whatever you want once queued.
This is nothing to do with skill. That DRG may well have been the greatest DRG in history, he would still be doing very low DPS in full crafting gear. I agree that you shouldn't be expecting speed runs when you queue in DF, but you also shouldn't expect other people to carry you so you can get some free materia.
You do realize just because you enter DR doesn't mean he did. Also if you don't have time to run a full dungeon why que anyway. Who you think would do more damage ilevel 90 with crafting accessories or that that other dps in af gear looking to upgrade to darklight? Also, if I'm the tank best believe we killing everything for exp/gil deal or leave your choice. Another thing every dungeon up to the level 50 ones is a damn exp otherwise why would we do them? Surely not for gear.
Please don't forget that restrictions like "no DOL/DOH items in DF" also take away Freedom. Freedom to do it with friends or parties where everybody is cool with it. I want to have that kind of Freedom and rather deal with a few idiots individually who think they can use DF for that (which I also find absurd).
I also don't mind if people spiritbond 1-2 items in a dungeon. If you are Item Level 90+, it won't hurt if your DOL necklace brings you down to Level 87 for a dungeon with Item level 55 requirements. You are still over geared. Of course, only valid for regular dungeons. I would not be cool with seeing spiritbonding in Coil (T3 left aside) or Extreme fights where every little bit counts.
Sometimes solving a problem is also killing personal choice and the question is, are there enough disturbances thanks to spiritbonding players in dungeons to make it impossible for everybody? I don't think so.
Things I have learned recently helping fresh 50s in postgame 4-man dungeons on an off-class I'm only ~iLvl 70 on: the dungeons are not free passes, everyone's just used to 3/4 players being 30-50 (or more) levels overgeared. When you go to do Brayflox HM and your iLvls across the team are only 60-70, it's actually pretty challenging (and a hell of a lot of fun!). Low gear tanks have problems holding aggro from all the healing that has to come their way; low gear healers have to be really damn good to keep up; low DPS players make the boss fights much longer and thus much deadlier.
A part of me wants to take this as a challenge.