The people we met

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

So yeah, assuming I don't get banned anyway, I don't really want anything to do with the social element of the game anymore. I was never particularly comfortable with the social side of things in the first place - it isn't something I've ever found easy in any setting - and the experiences I described really have put the nail in the coffin because I've been made to feel disposable, gullible and stupid.

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I just wanted to say, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I personally think reaching out is quite difficult, as I have to deal with social anxiety popping up quite a bit. So it's awful that you ended up in a situation like that. I lurk here mostly but your posts are very thoughtful. I hope you get the will to try again in the future. If you'd like someone to chat to just ping me in-game.

I've had a similar experience regarding making mostly acquaintances. I had met a couple of people while going through the MSQ that really pushed me further. The first one was when I was just a starting arcanist. I've always had a bit of trouble getting past the first phase of MMOs, where it feels like there isn't as much you can do. That person and I were both attacking a goobbue together, then one of us reached out and we went through the rest of the quests. They definitely helped me get more engaged. The second person and I met at the end of ARR and eventually ended Heavensward together. Unfortunately though after that our schedules didn't match up as well. Still, it was nice to go on that journey together. It would be nice if there was a way to do more of the MSQ together with someone.

Recently I've made about three friends, though it didn't come easy, and who knows if that'll continue. I've noticed that most people tend not to reach out to me, it feels like I have to initiate conversations typically. Otherwise they'd just be another person on the friends list, that I might not remember in a few weeks. I'm not sure why that is. It can be discouraging sometimes to feel like I'm the one who has to put the effort in. I guess it might be that they want to escape the social pressure, or maybe it's just awkward to try and start up a conversation after the first meeting and most people won't try to. It feels like the step from that to a more substantial friendship isn't an easy thing, I haven't figured it out yet. It does sometimes work out though, at least from my recent experience. I feel it requires a lot of effort, and building up courage/resistance to handle rejections, at least for me.

Bumping up the thread to add a positive experience I had recently. I was out doing my long-delayed Ninja quests, and saw someone was out fishing with a glowing rod. I waved, and soon we were chatting for a few hours about a variety of topics including jobs, shows, etc. They're a very nice person and had plenty of suggestions for me about content I could do. I finally decided to actually start Hildibrand as a result, which I think I'm going to enjoy a lot :D I also learned about Big Fishing from them, and that got me back into fishing as well.

We've developed a friendship since then, and it's quite nice to have someone to chat to every once in a while. It's interesting to see what can happen sometimes when you reach out!

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Originally Posted by indigo_imp

I just wanted to say, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I personally think reaching out is quite difficult, as I have to deal with social anxiety popping up quite a bit. So it's awful that you ended up in a situation like that. I lurk here mostly but your posts are very thoughtful. I hope you get the will to try again in the future. If you'd like someone to chat to just ping me in-game.

I've had a similar experience regarding making mostly acquaintances. I had met a couple of people while going through the MSQ that really pushed me further. The first one was when I was just a starting arcanist. I've always had a bit of trouble getting past the first phase of MMOs, where it feels like there isn't as much you can do. That person and I were both attacking a goobbue together, then one of us reached out and we went through the rest of the quests. They definitely helped me get more engaged. The second person and I met at the end of ARR and eventually ended Heavensward together. Unfortunately though after that our schedules didn't match up as well. Still, it was nice to go on that journey together. It would be nice if there was a way to do more of the MSQ together with someone.

Recently I've made about three friends, though it didn't come easy, and who knows if that'll continue. I've noticed that most people tend not to reach out to me, it feels like I have to initiate conversations typically. Otherwise they'd just be another person on the friends list, that I might not remember in a few weeks. I'm not sure why that is. It can be discouraging sometimes to feel like I'm the one who has to put the effort in. I guess it might be that they want to escape the social pressure, or maybe it's just awkward to try and start up a conversation after the first meeting and most people won't try to. It feels like the step from that to a more substantial friendship isn't an easy thing, I haven't figured it out yet. It does sometimes work out though, at least from my recent experience. I feel it requires a lot of effort, and building up courage/resistance to handle rejections, at least for me.

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Thank you!

To be honest, I've simply resumed playing solo and minding my own business. I do still have some consistent friends, including the person who convinced me to try the game, but otherwise doing all I can to avoid the social aspects.

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

And the second one I was kicked out of the other day, due to a situation where one of the FC members basically Catfished me (not financially I'll add), told the FC leader that I harassed her and reported me. So waiting to see whether I'll receive a ban at this point, since I was told that they were going to report me.

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GM's have access to chat logs so if this person sent in a false report it's more likely they'd get banned instead. They probably didn't send anything and just wanted to scare you.

I'd say it's for the best you got out of that FC if the leader just issues bans without proof or talking to both parties. I wouldn't give up on the social side of the game though, there are quite a few really nice FC's out there among the bad ones. I'm not sure about Phoenix but I know there are some in EU that are quite relaxed on any social pressure and happy to let you do your own thing and interact as you feel like.

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Originally Posted by Liam_Harper

GM's have access to chat logs so if this person sent in a false report it's more likely they'd get banned instead. They probably didn't send anything and just wanted to scare you.

I'd say it's for the best you got out of that FC if the leader just issues bans without proof or talking to both parties. I wouldn't give up on the social side of the game though, there are quite a few really nice FC's out there among the bad ones. I'm not sure about Phoenix but I know there are some in EU that are quite relaxed on any social pressure and happy to let you do your own thing and interact as you feel like.

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Well, I'm guess that - since I've heard nothing further on the matter - then you are right, and they didn't send anything. Still, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Probably when i joined to the small FC and back when i was still at ARR!
Met 2 fun and funny players that lead me to join them in the FC, after that i wanted to contribute something even though i was still green and they told me of taking care of the garden could be a way to do that... at that point i thought i needed to be a Botanist for that so i paused the MSQ and went real hard on gathering... after a while they mentoned it wasn't needed for that job.
Many things happened but overal getting in that FC lead me to an enjoyable MMO experience, it is not like i did everything with them but i liked sharing my MSQ experience and so on.

Ah i miss those fun times.

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

Thank you!

To be honest, I've simply resumed playing solo and minding my own business. I do still have some consistent friends, including the person who convinced me to try the game, but otherwise doing all I can to avoid the social aspects.

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I understand. Playing solo/limiting your interactions definitely has its own appeal. I'm happy I met the people I have recently, but if I had an experience like you did I would definitely withdraw from more social interactions too. Hopefully if you feel like you want to reach out again in the future, you'll find good people to connect with!

Made a new friend last time I logged on. Actually I've made all my friends in the same exact spot while my dude is just doing push-ups/sit-ups/squats. We just got talking about POTD and how a lot of classes have changed since we last used them, etc. It was a good hour of just chatting. Balmung is perfect for people who want to make friends. People just...come up to you and start talking.

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

Yeah I cant have much sympathy either xD if it was some regular dude in pictures, its very unlikely anyone would have sent him any money no matter how many pictures of his dead mom he would post.

I had a friend that used to do similar stuff, thankfully not this elaborate or with real life money but he used to pretend he was a girl in games and so many guys would give him stuff I was baffled that’s all it took xD

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Heh, my brother used to trick guys in game like this. He just played a girl character, acted a little girly, and some guy was paying his subscription. XD

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Originally Posted by Leifei

Heh, my brother used to trick guys in game like this. He just played a girl character, acted a little girly, and some guy was paying his subscription. XD

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Free armor trimming if you'll be my GF!

I remember hearing that a lot back in my Runescape days.

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

Well, I'm guess that - since I've heard nothing further on the matter - then you are right, and they didn't send anything. Still, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

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I realise you posted this a few weeks back, but am sorry to hear about that experience. If you fancy popping over to Zodiark at any point, feel free to visit me! I'm naff at this game of late, but am up for a nice natter if you want. My FC house has a message book in it (Mist, Plot 52, Ward 6), so if I'm not about leave a message!


Regarding the rest of the thread, the only people on my friend list are my husband and daughter. I've not really run content with people for a while, but I've had good, bad and odd experiences with other people that stick in the brain a bit. One was a guy who popped up when I was a really low-level marauder doing low-level marauder things outside of Limsa, and I recall him saying something like he liked to eat toasties. I wasn't really having that, though I don't remember what he or I said immediately after this inane announcement of his. A little later, back in Limsa, I get a message off him asking for 1 million gil, no idea why, nor do I care. Blacklisted.

Another one was regarding one of my alts, who has a Norwegian food-based name. Someone messaged me in Norwegian, saying they liked to eat <inset character name>. There is a lesson here, I really must learn it.

The absolute best I remember was an FC group in an old Prae run. I was on a now-defunct alt. There were lots of genuinely warm-hearted laughs and we took a screenshot together at the end of the dungeon. Unfortunately the shot was saved on an old hard drive that died so I have no way of locating these people again. :( I want to say there was a lady roe, a catboy or two, and, well, that's all I remember, but I think there was four or five of them from the FC in there. I really hope wherever they all are, they're still cracking wise and having a grand old time of it. :)

Those are some award winning pick up lines...

Darwin Award winning.

Not sure if it’s good or bad but I have a weird story :p

At some point in Shirogane, a new neighbor moved in next to my house. I looked at their placard to see it was an FC. I didn’t think anything else of it. A while later, I noticed that I got my first entry in my message book. I wasn’t used to interaction in the housing ward/my home, so this was surprising! It was just a simple message saying the house looked good. I was grateful. However, when new entries were added several days later, my gratefulness turned into shock. A couple more players left messages that said they went in and…did stuff on my bed. One of them mentioned the name of the first message leaver, so I realized they had to be together.

At this point, I had yet to make the obvious connection of the new neighbors and the messages. It wasn’t until I looked one of them up on the Lodestone and saw the name of their FC that it all finally came together. I decided to play along with them and went over to their house to leave a message in their book asking them to stop because it’s difficult to get the stains out! Needless to say, they didn’t let it end there. They trolled a bit more by writing entries for a couple more weeks.

Eventually during Heavensturn this year, after getting the white tiger screen, I went to my house to display it before I’d inevitably shove it in the housing storage. After entering, I noticed I had yet another new entry. Right as I opened it, I heard footsteps on my Il Mheg flower carpet behind me. I turn to catch a glimpse of a woman in deep blue thanvnairian attire and the end of the petal animation disappear into a closed off area I made with partitions. I run up to the wall and explain that she jumpscared me! An Au’ra pops back out and we have a laugh about it. She then proceeds to faze through my furniture (It was just recently explained to me how people do that) before running downstairs to explain that they had a lala to “clean that” for me. She points at the bed. We talk for over an hour about the whole thing!

We ended up adding each other to our friends list and we talked several more times. She even gifted me one of their FC cannons and asked me to display it in my front yard since other FC mates were getting annoyed with the overabundance of them on their yard. (I display it to this day lol) We stopped talking after their FC moved to a Med in the Goblet. I went over to leave a message to say how I was gonna miss them. They came back to leave a couple more messages saying they would miss “cumming by.” :')

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Originally Posted by Ceridwenae

I realise you posted this a few weeks back, but am sorry to hear about that experience. If you fancy popping over to Zodiark at any point, feel free to visit me! I'm naff at this game of late, but am up for a nice natter if you want. My FC house has a message book in it (Mist, Plot 52, Ward 6), so if I'm not about leave a message!


Regarding the rest of the thread, the only people on my friend list are my husband and daughter. I've not really run content with people for a while, but I've had good, bad and odd experiences with other people that stick in the brain a bit. One was a guy who popped up when I was a really low-level marauder doing low-level marauder things outside of Limsa, and I recall him saying something like he liked to eat toasties. I wasn't really having that, though I don't remember what he or I said immediately after this inane announcement of his. A little later, back in Limsa, I get a message off him asking for 1 million gil, no idea why, nor do I care. Blacklisted.

Another one was regarding one of my alts, who has a Norwegian food-based name. Someone messaged me in Norwegian, saying they liked to eat <inset character name>. There is a lesson here, I really must learn it.

The absolute best I remember was an FC group in an old Prae run. I was on a now-defunct alt. There were lots of genuinely warm-hearted laughs and we took a screenshot together at the end of the dungeon. Unfortunately the shot was saved on an old hard drive that died so I have no way of locating these people again. :( I want to say there was a lady roe, a catboy or two, and, well, that's all I remember, but I think there was four or five of them from the FC in there. I really hope wherever they all are, they're still cracking wise and having a grand old time of it. :)

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Thank you so much for your reply - really thoughtful of you, and your kind offer is much appreciated!

However, despite my otherwise successful attempt at withdrawing from having social interaction, I had a chance encounter with a friendly Vierra at the Marketboard in Old Sharlayan about four weeks ago. Chatted to her, met her again the following day, and she invited me to meet her FC - an invitation I cautiously accepted.... and they turned out to the the polar opposites of the last one I was in. A genuinely friendly, helpful, group of people who welcomed me without hesitation and who also tolerate my hopeless performance in trials/raids etc!

As for that friendly Vierra I mentioned.... well, long story short, we've been in-game dating for a few weeks now :)

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Originally Posted by Renalt

Those are some award winning pick up lines...

Darwin Award winning.

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*snerk*

Now, that's funny!

My little Hyperion group...we have known each other online since early 2000s. They're the reason why I started XIV. As for others uhh before world visit I server transferred to Excalibur and just like Hyperion was at the time it seemed dead so waited three days to try Levi before coming back to Hyperion. The friends I made in Levi were from hunts. Coming back to Hyperion I met others via Instagram.

I've had quite a few people I met through MMOs, and only one of them has stuck around for more than a year. He's a good friend I've known from WoW for 2-3 years now. Not sure if it's a super personal friendship, but we do share anything at all that comes to our heads whenever.

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Originally Posted by RobynDaBank

I've had quite a few people I met through MMOs, and only one of them has stuck around for more than a year. He's a good friend I've known from WoW for 2-3 years now. Not sure if it's a super personal friendship, but we do share anything at all that comes to our heads whenever.

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Must be nice. All the people I meet are kinda short lived. The friends I make we tend to hang out and talk all day or do roulettes and after they send the friend request and I accept...once they log I tend to not see them again. There was a few I would see once a week but even they have kinda dropped out of the game and it's been months. I feel like I keep meeting people who play as far as the story allows and then they just don't log in again till new content drops.

It's fine though cause Shout chat in Balmung definitely keeps me busy. Always something going on there. It's like the days of Wild West internet chat rooms.

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Originally Posted by Renalt

Must be nice. All the people I meet are kinda short lived. The friends I make we tend to hang out and talk all day or do roulettes and after they send the friend request and I accept...once they log I tend to not see them again. There was a few I would see once a week but even they have kinda dropped out of the game and it's been months. I feel like I keep meeting people who play as far as the story allows and then they just don't log in again till new content drops.

It's fine though cause Shout chat in Balmung definitely keeps me busy. Always something going on there. It's like the days of Wild West internet chat rooms.

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I had a lot of that too - in fact, I should go through my friend list really as there are a few players who friended me but ended up being a case of "see you again never".

I would have never met my girlfriend if it weren't for the fateful late-night Treasure Map party in PF I joined, the leader of which would go on to do more runs and eventually make a linkshell for it too. I would make many new friends in this linkshell too, one of whom I would bond with over music, memes, an obscure the King and I reference, and later on, RP. We first met in person about two years ago, and now I am making plans to move in with her. :)

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

I’d like to read about experiences you’ve had with other players that had an impact on you, whether good or bad (but hopefully good!).

So write down any stories about people you met in game that ultimately meant a lot to you.

Ill start:

I am an eso refugee, although I loved the storyline and strolling around, the combat often made me want to scratch my eyes out. Anyways that’s not what matters.

I started finally paying a sub to ffxiv after having a bunch of free trial accounts (sorry Yoshi :3) and lo and behold, my old eso friends (who quit way before I did) were hanging out around Gridania to my absolute bliss. They used the same character names even here.

One particular friend stuck with me a lot, we winded up getting married for the dresses, he bought a house since I was just new at the game and had no idea how to make gil, we were in the same FC, after mentoring an old eso guild somewhat together (it was his guild, I was helping people with whatever they needed) and things couldn’t have been better for a while.

Unfortunately the friendship had to end because more often than not, people playing and chatting together until six in the morning winds up in feelings being developed and when they are one-sided, jealousy shows its ugly mug.

Fast forward, I met a tiny lala that recruited me for their FCs, the tiny lala was a huge man with huge beard in real life which I often found very funny.
The fc leader was this amazing woman who would make a joke out of everything, another one was an older lady that just loved crafting and gathering, but we tried to get her in dungeons multiple times still.

We all kind of sucked, which was ok because we would rinse repeat every dungeon and most of the fun was being on discord together talking a lot of crap especially on our wine nights.

Ultimately I changed servers and not long after, everyone kind of stopped playing, it’s been years since I saw them online anymore but I still never forgot any of them.

Other encounter I still laugh at to this day is when I joined an extreme trial for the first time, told them I have never done it and I died so much to the point they started calling me “emotional support bunny” because it was the only thing I could provide at the time haha!

Now your turn!

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Some have been memorable, some have been scary, but it's what makes MMOs so amazing.