Harassment and abuse in FF14

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Originally Posted by Chonkusdonkus

Good creative writing.
In case this is real. Go to therapy and talk to some people. The level of paranoia is worrying.

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Worse has happened, its not as widely talked about but people have done worse to a lot of players in this game. From organizing gas lighting people to full on slander to the point a person quits the game, and thats just the JP servers. NA has doxxing, death threats and hacking peoples accounts to delete their accounts, the list goes on really.

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Originally Posted by Theodric

You don't believe that people in this community could band together on, say, Discord to organise the harassment of someone they've decided to target? It does happen.

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They're claiming that gang-stalkers were able to predict and manipulate the decline of their physical health over a period of years, culminating in an episode of temporary blindness instigated through special signal words and phrases.

Group harassment happens, but this particular case has a lot of bizzare red flags.

Knew there was some bad folks around, but people like out of your personal story... seriously, fuck em'.

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Originally Posted by LittleImp

They're claiming that gang-stalkers were able to predict and manipulate the decline of their physical health for years, culminating in an episode of temporary blindness instigated through special signal words and phrases.

Group harassment happens, but this particular case has a lot of bizzare red flags.

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It does, I do agree, but I also would say I've seen a lot of very strange things happen to very week willed people for long periods of time, spanning several years, it happened to someone I know. I'm not saying they dont have a pre-existing medical condition, but I am saying MMOs attract all kinds, and some are very horrible people.

This sounds more like a general thing and not really specifically related to 14 so...why post it here and not just talk to someone like a therapist about it?

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Originally Posted by KizuyaKatogami

This sounds more like a general thing and not really specifically related to 14 so...why post it here and not just talk to someone like a therapist about it?

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Because even with reports issues like this go on and happen to many other people and the GMs are spotty at best with dealing with harassment. its a larger issues affecting the game, not with theses specific people, but in general with harassemnt, and needs to be taken care of better by SE and the GMs.

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

Because even with reports issues like this go on and happen to many other people and the GMs are spotty at best with dealing with harassment. its a larger issues affecting the game, not with theses specific people, but in general with harassemnt, and needs to be taken care of better by SE and the GMs.

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It shouldn’t really get to this point in the first place? Blocking exists. Blacklist exists. Name change exists. There’s so many ways you can prevent it and go in the opposite direction. It’s an online game, if people can’t handle it then they shouldn’t really be online.

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Originally Posted by KizuyaKatogami

It shouldn’t really get to this point in the first place? Blocking exists. Blacklist exists. Name change exists. There’s so many ways you can prevent it and go in the opposite direction. It’s an online game, if people can’t handle it then they shouldn’t really be online.

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They make multiple accounts to target and harass people, and many players have documented these things going on for years now, I wish it was as easy as black listing.

Also thats a silly take, would you tell a loved one to stay offline if they were being harassed, would you tell your sister or brother that? Someone is actively finding them and ways to hurt them, and thats your take. Thats a yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes my guy, thats a big y i k e s right there.

Never victim blame.

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Originally Posted by LittleImp

They're claiming that gang-stalkers were able to predict and manipulate the decline of their physical health over a period of years, culminating in an episode of temporary blindness instigated through special signal words and phrases.

Group harassment happens, but this particular case has a lot of bizzare red flags.

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To be fair, stress can cause all manner of strange things to happen to the mind or body. With that said, this does seem like one of those situations where the best solution is probably for the OP to just go cold turkey and leave the game entirely or seek out a fresh start with a brand new account so that those in opposition cannot track or trace her.

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Originally Posted by KizuyaKatogami

It shouldn’t really get to this point in the first place? Blocking exists. Blacklist exists. Name change exists. There’s so many ways you can prevent it and go in the opposite direction. It’s an online game, if people can’t handle it then they shouldn’t really be online.

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name changes change absolutely nothing, as your id stays the same and can be easily googled

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

Worse has happened, its not as widely talked about but people have done worse to a lot of players in this game. From organizing gas lighting people to full on slander to the point a person quits the game, and thats just the JP servers. NA has doxxing, death threats and hacking peoples accounts to delete their accounts, the list goes on really.

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What ends up very difficult to believe is the manifestation of some sorcerous real life blindness all because of consistent phrases? Look. I get the whole "Something something the body does weird things," but it's not believable anyways.

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

They make multiple accounts to target and harass people, and many players have documented these things going on for years now, I wish it was as easy as black listing.

Also thats a silly take, would you tell a loved one to stay offline if they were being harassed, would you tell your sister or brother that? Someone is actively finding them and ways to hurt them, and thats your take. Thats a yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes my guy, thats a big y i k e s right there.

Never victim blame.

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I’m not victim blaming. But if someone is having issues with an online game to the point it’s debilitating and causing them actual mental issues, then leaving said game seems the best course of action. Yes i would tell a loved one if they’re being harassed online to take a break from it or to alert the authorities. It really isn’t that silly but i understand if some people are a bit more sensitive to things(as this community usually is).

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

Because even with reports issues like this go on and happen to many other people and the GMs are spotty at best with dealing with harassment. its a larger issues affecting the game, not with theses specific people, but in general with harassemnt, and needs to be taken care of better by SE and the GMs.

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Many of these harassments go OUTSIDE of FFXIV and are done within the rules of the game, GMs have to worry about things that are in the game and breaking the rules. Being outside the house of someone who does not want to see you because you have had a problem is something that the GMs cannot take care of because they are public places.

Square can improve the Blacklist system to something efficient but clearly "Japanese mentality" prevents them from doing so.

In the end what can GM’s really do with matters outside the game? Even with matters inside the game it is rough. In another game a group of friends and I made a guild and arena team named after someone that queued for ranked often but could not handle hard swap comps. After a season they became a meme of the server. So I do not doubt that people could get together to bother someone but in many cases pure harassment is hard to prevent.

Said person tried to get us banned since they Wes clearly bothered by our actions but all their reports ended up falling flat cause apparently proving harassment is extremely difficult if people avoid direct communication and ignore function helps with that.

This was years ago in a different game but I assume GM’s have same limitations here it rough so I feel for them, but still not sure what they expect. The scary thing is you as an individual are responsible for your own safety because those that can do something often times do not do something until it is too late.

Online/virtual friendship is an illusion. Don't fall for it. Log in, play the game, log off.

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Originally Posted by Novae

Online/virtual friendship is an illusion. Don't fall for it. Log in, play the game, log off.

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Online friends are not an illusion. I’m sure all the people who found their wives and husbands on an mmo would disagree with that.

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Originally Posted by Ftail

Online friends are not an illusion. I’m sure all the people who found their wives and husbands on an mmo would disagree with that.

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I get what they are saying though online friendships are easier to manipulate people into a false sense of stability and security.

Personally I do not agree with the sentiment but in truth it is one of the more proactive steps one can take and given the story of the OP may be worth considering.

Not to say much manipulative behavior cannot happen outside the game but it is far harder to get away with. It is easier to keep a lie alive over the internet then in person.

Very sorry to hear what happened to you. That said... based on this overwhelming giant mess of a text wall, I'm assuming on some level you yourself are far more likely to be a target then most people on here. I'm not trying to insult you or say you deserve anything, but it would behoove you to learn some personal interaction techniques to deal with these kinds of situations moving forward. While you're never the fault of how others behave, from what I read you seem far more invested in this game and your bubble of community then what's healthy tbh.

If you are being harassed and threatened by this person online or offline - you need to take this to the police/authorities. They can get charged and jailed. You can also get a restraining order - which if you have that in place and they violate it - they can be jailed. I would also suggest finding a therapist you can talk to, and while it can be costly if you don't have insurance (or sometimes even if you do) it would be well worth the cost.

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Originally Posted by Awha

I get what they are saying though online friendships are easier to manipulate people into a false sense of stability and security.

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Can you cite your sources on this?

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Originally Posted by Keramory

Very sorry to hear what happened to you. That said... based on this overwhelming giant mess of a text wall, I'm assuming on some level you yourself are far more likely to be a target then most people on here.

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I echo this. Reading through that whole page reminded me a lot of a friend of mine who has delusions of gangstalking. Not saying that this is all a fabrication of OPs mind, but it is a certain mindset that makes you very vulnerable. GL OP, but this really isn't SE's wheelhouse.

OP, while I sympathize with being manipulated, what you are describing seems to me, to be a psychotic break and symptomatic of a much larger issue at hand.

I will not say you were not abused, gaslit, and manipulated - because you very well could have experienced that! But this sounds like the stress of it all triggered some sort of psychosis. My mother is bipolar schizophrenic, also referred to as schizoaffective disorder. She was gaslit by my father and emotionally abused to the point that people saying innocuous innocent things felt like they were saying them about HER, to HER, even hearing people say things they never said. His abuse triggered such an intense episode of psychosis that she was convinced that my father had an intricate web of people spanning all across the state of New Jersey, that were placed specifically to abuse her, manipulate her, and coerce her into things she otherwise would not do.

This sounds a lot like how my mother described her experiences.

I urge you to seek out help in the real world, be it through authorities, mental health counseling, resources for those who have been abused, etc etc, as there’s not much we can do here.

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Originally Posted by ItMe

Can you cite your sources on this?

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Have no source outside of my own personal experience. Though given the nature of online encounters how easier it is to create a false persona I do not see any reason to view it any other way. As mentioned it is not easy to manipulate someone irl but just given the nature of online it is tad easier to do that is all.

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Originally Posted by Theodric

To be fair, stress can cause all manner of strange things to happen to the mind or body. With that said, this does seem like one of those situations where the best solution is probably for the OP to just go cold turkey and leave the game entirely or seek out a fresh start with a brand new account so that those in opposition cannot track or trace her.

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It's unfortunate that there are those out there who would target a person like this, and do this in the first place. It's terrible that to continue playing a game they may enjoy, doing what you suggest may be the only option.

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Originally Posted by SturmChurro

It's unfortunate that there are those out there who would target a person like this, and do this in the first place.

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It's the world we live in, unfortunately.

Massive wall of text here, I have tried to shorten it but I have a lot of things to say about this topic.

The people who are suggesting to merely "block and move on" don't understand that it's not always that simple to solve. Manipulators who are good at what they do appear to be allies to their victims. Very often when the victim realises what has been happening the damage has already been done.

Manipulators play the long game. They don't begin with super obvious harsh toxic behaviour that would turn off most people. They plant seeds and very carefully influence how they grow. Some of seeds are little snippets of doubt they gently push onto the victim about their friends and family, while the manipulator presents themselves as an ally to the victim often trying to appear as the only person that can be trusted. Some manipulators employ similar tactics to the victim's friends and family behind their back with the intention of widening the gap of trust between the victim and those important to them.

Manipulators are dangerous not only because of the above, but also because they deal in half truths. They give enough information to people that seems plausible or that they know to be true but twist it enough to make others look bad. Often by the time the manipulator's true colours come out to the victim it's too late because the manipulator already successfully tarnished the victim's reputation among their friends and family. And when the victim lashes out over their realisation that they have been deceived they are "proving" to the others that the manipulator's claims of unreasonable behaviour to be true. The best manipulators have the victim play right into their hand even when the victim finally knows exactly what was going on.

However not all manipulators try to appear as the victim's ally, some try to pose as a victim themselves with tales of how they're being mistreated and they use half truths to bring enough validity to their story that the true victim ends up acting on their behalf to protect them by doing things such as cut off friends the manipulator claims were mistreating them. And when the true victim realises what the manipulator has done it's often too late. Trust has been broken, ties have been severed and sometimes this is beyond repair.

And sometimes you have manipulators who pose as both a victim and as the only person the true victim can trust.

Blocking only works if you realise what is happening early on, and very often those who haven't experienced this behaviour before are unable to see the red flags because they're well hidden. If you realise what's happening only after the damage has been done blocking and moving on frequently means cutting yourself off from a large group of people and finding yourself completely alone. And sometimes it doesn't end there. Sometimes the manipulator continues their work to keep you isolated and track down the new people in your life to make sure you remain alone.

I'm speaking from experience and it started in an online game. Someone I thought was a dear friend absolutely ruined wonderful relationships with people important to me who I had known for several years both in-game and in real life. Leaving the group wasn't enough to free myself from their actions. For months they continued to pursue me when I was desperately trying to leave that chapter behind. It only stopped when I completely retired my social media accounts and made new ones on only some. Others I entirely left behind. I also cut myself off from anyone who was on speaking terms with the bully even if they weren't friends. I had to make myself incredibly difficult to find to make the abuse stop.

However while that ordeal was horrible to go through it equipped me the knowledge of how to see manipulative behaviour in the early stages. Someone manipulative ended up joining my fc but I realised what they were doing before they could do any lasting damage. I did get some crap from people for being "too harsh" with how I dealt with that person, but they later proved to the others that they were exactly who I said they were so then their plans blew up in their face and they found themselves being in the isolation they intended to be for their victim. My past as a victim saved my fc from someone who is extremely toxic.

These people are everywhere. And sadly due to the nature of how they choose to do their actions GMs often lack the context to understand why something is as bad as you claim because they don't know the specifics of your life and those of the others involved. They can only act upon the exact things you report, they cannot see the full picture. If the toxic person is using multiple accounts to do their deeds then it's near impossible to prove that all these accounts belong to the same person. Not even an individual paying for all those accounts is proof that they are active on all of them. And in my case the majority of the abuse happened on multiple platforms unrelated to the game we played so getting GMs involved would have achieved nothing. There was no figure of authority that had reign over all the platforms so there was no one who could step in to make it stop.

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Originally Posted by twynfpd

Please spread the word if you can. Share it with your friends. Be extremely cautious about all of your online contacts. And stay safe.

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Some advice I can give to anyone wanting to avoid the sort of thing OP and I went through:

Be very wary of anyone who has many bad things to say about the people they keep around them and tries to get close to you very quickly. This isn't always a definite sign that a person is toxic, but consider it an orange flag to warn you that things may not be as they seem. Something isn't right when a person chooses to keep company they claim is making them unhappy while also pairing it with trusting someone they don't know very well and try to convince them to agree with them.

Be wary of someone who makes jokes at the expense of others, especially if it appears they target one person more either with more jokes or using specific topics that are sensitive to the victim. That is another tactic manipulators use to try to make the victim look bad. Either with the jokes themselves making them look bad, or trying to make it appear that the victim is too sensitive if they complain because those complaints can be met with "I make jokes about everyone".

Don't think "what they did was bad but they never did that to me so I will continue to be good friends with them". When an abuser is done with one victim they will move on to another one and it's only a matter of time until that person is you. See how the people around you treat others to gauge what they're really like. This doesn't mean cut someone off as soon as you see them mistreat someone repeatedly, sometimes people going through a hard time can end up being unpleasant as a coping mechanism. Talk with the person to let them know their behaviour needs to change. If over time they only reduce the severity, only do it behind the victim's back, or simply move on to mistreating someone else that's the point when it's clear that there are serious red flags. There is no good excuse to repeatedly bully people.

Furthermore, relating to the above, if you stay with a person simply because they never directed their toxicity to you, then you are sending a message that their behaviour is okay as long as it's on specific targets. And all that does is encourage the bully to simply choose their victims more carefully, not that they shouldn't abuse anyone.

If someone is constantly belittling you under the guise of "I'm only trying to help you become better" they're not your friend. Even when pointing out bad things real friends will also point out the good. They won't make you feel like your entire personality it just one big flaw.

If someone is repeatedly begging for your silence on how you're being bullied or are guilting you into it then they're not your friend. I found this out the hard way. Real friends won't ask you to endure unnecessary hardship just so they can have a quiet life.

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OP I'm very sorry you went through so much harassment. You're very brave to come forward with this topic as it's something that can invite a lot of criticism or even make your abuser have another opportunity to be horrible to you. I don't have any words to say that can make it better. I can only hope that like me you now know how to see the signs of manipulative behaviour sooner so you can avoid it or stop it before any real damage is done. It isn't easy to recover from something like this. What happened to me was many years ago and it still affects me today.

You said that blocking that person hasn't stopped the abuse, you may have to do what I did and completely retire your social media accounts and make new ones. I was going to go into detail about everything I did but it has occurred to me your abuser might read it. Let me know if you're interested in having a conversation about this and I will meet you in-game.

Whatever you choose to do, I hope better days are ahead of you.

Laws need to better reflect and be adjusted for the issues such as these. I get it is murky but protections need to be put in place within this digital age that are more pro active instead of reactive. There needs to be better education across the board to help everyone potentially mitigate and identify such threats.

Though I get education may not have a positive effect I am not sure how the statistically data regarding sex Ed and drug teaching and what impact it had. Though I think anything is better then what we have. Though I do get also issues such as this are hard to educate those who have already suffered cause many of this steps within our current system do seem to place majority of the responsibilities on the victim. Which is hurtful.

I got lost when you started talking about milk but sorry you’re having a bad time on the game. As others have said just blacklist any account they try and message you on.

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Originally Posted by MrPresident

I got lost when you started talking about milk but sorry you’re having a bad time on the game. As others have said just blacklist any account they try and message you on.

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The problem with the blacklist feature is that it only applies to specific characters and that even after a name change or server change it's very easy to track someone down on the lodestone since the character ID doesn't change. Furthermore, committed abusers will absolutely seek out creative ways to get around restrictions. They might decide to pursue someone outside of the game. They might enlist other players to get in contact on their behalf, sometimes under the guise of something seemingly innocent such as a 'surprise party'. Which, of course, naturally feeds into paranoia and isolation for the victim.

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Originally Posted by KizuyaKatogami

It shouldn’t really get to this point in the first place? Blocking exists. Blacklist exists. Name change exists. There’s so many ways you can prevent it and go in the opposite direction. It’s an online game, if people can’t handle it then they shouldn’t really be online.

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I would agree if the block and blacklist features actually did something and characters' IDs weren't public.

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Originally Posted by twynfpd

To get someone's explicit consent, you ask them clearly, for example, "I like to add milk in my coffee, are you okay with that?"

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Sorry, op. If I want milk in my coffee. I don't ask. I just put the milk in my coffee!

And sugar. Or sometimes honey if I feel saucy!

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Originally Posted by ItMe

Can you cite your sources on this?

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Any study that shows that people will increase lying or manipulation based on perceived ability to likely get away with it would probably be a good source to turn to. Then you can just infer that people online have an easier time to lie then offline, which I think is pretty evident with a bazillion examples. One study for example was lying in email vs paper.

In terms of actually being manipulated, you could easily argue that in turn, people could naturally be far more suspicious of others online as a result of how easy it is to lie online... which fair... but I think by reading the OP's post that definitely wasn't the case.

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Originally Posted by Vinupra-Rosa

Sad thing is that I am -vaguely- aware of certain individuals who have huge sway in their friend groups, and have people willing to help them carry out vendettas. While I never looked too much into it, they have acted on digging dirt on someone and... doing things until the offending person leaves. I also know someone who has more than enough money to burn, has people backing them on twitch, and is persistent in targetted harrassment to the point where bans will just have them buying new accounts.

It's a doozy, but they exist so there is the possibility OP's situation is real.

In which case, I too would advocate therapy and/or protective services.

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^This, unfortunately. Sometimes getting to the point of "I'm literally calling the police right now" is the only way it stops.

Wow. What a read.

I don't think I have the verbal finesse to both be concise and not pussy foot around.

I would hope the Square Enix has a policy and approach in place to be able to reach out to account holders individually and refer to help on hand in the physical world.

It's one thing for ... whatever I just read... to occur, it's another thing to carry forth unremedied. If you go to hospital due to an online event earlier in the year. That's your cue. Stop playing online games. Seriously, you may be an at risk individual and for your own welfare it is in your interest to honour yourself.

As the saying goes "If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain" - the internet, and the nature of other people will never change, so ask yourself, what must you do to protect you.

Hello , if you are on console, do like me, share (screenshot, video) and contact SE to investigate (keep all)

What you say is so true! I am sorry you have experienced so much harassment playing this game. Unfortunately FFXIV is a reflection of how some people act in Real Life (RL). They are abusive and manipulative in their interactions with RL people and they carry it over to this game. They get their kicks out of harassing other players and as you have stated, they have so many ways of doing it. As far as judging Square Enix, I am not as forgiving as you. I know they can't completely erase harassment and bad behavior from this game, but they could do a much better job of controlling it. One thing they could do would be to eliminate the information about someone's character in the "Character Profile" on the Lodestone. Even with privacy settings, there is way too much information presented. Unfortunately what I have to do when playing FFXIV is put my status as "busy," but that still doesn't stop all the harassment.

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Originally Posted by Blackwing_Soul

Or sometimes honey if I feel saucy!

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Get out.
10 characters :3

I cant read all this at this moment, was OP attacked in real life that she had to go to the hospital by people she met in game?

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

I cant read all this at this moment, was OP attacked in real life that she had to go to the hospital by people she met in game?

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Dunno, op last post was last year

Necromancy is evil kids.