Storyline Prior to Game

ship explodes and the engery source I forget what the ishgards called it, but their tech is powered my mini espers, or small summons. the humne snaps back and his two comanpoins wonder what was going on. The hume looks at the guildleve again shaking and decides to do that one.

Echos from what was talked about are times where you live out past events as if they were your own.

since guildleves the acutall cards play a role in the game and looks as they do. I think there is more to them then let on in the start of the game. As per suggested in the opening.

I personly like this story s far. Its like final fantasy with a zelda twist. ff stpries are not for everyone, but don't make them bad games cuz a stpry wasn't to your liking. Like I thought ff8 had a great story, but I didn't like ff7 story. Not saying ff7 was a bad game just the story wasn't my thing. Just like I liked ffx-2 story. I liked ff13 story just game coulda been better. My brother liked ff13 he played through it twice.

Twice? Your brother's a lightweight. :)

I'm about to start working on my 4th.

On the 360 version! /doubleshock

"I skip all cutscenes and everyone should do that too"

Well, why

"Because the story is bad."

Riiight. How do you know the story is bad?

"Well....I...skip the cutscenes, tee hee"


>____________>

As for something more in topic...first off, the big dragon of the opening is surely Bahamut , for no other reason than "He looks like Bahamut", "he's mean and powerful" and it fits everything else seeing that classic summons are back there.

Leviathan is 100% sure aligned with the Sahagin. The Sahagin are attacking Limsa. Leviathan is attacking lominsan ships. All those legends about Seal Rock island and the "key" link to Leviathan. Travanchet is clearly working with (or using the) Sahagin and he's after (and ultimately get) the key. There's no doubt about that. I also firmly believe he's going to be a major villain soon enough (Travanchet, not levi =P)

Ifrit is confirmed in-game to be aligned with the Amal'jaa and Garuda is also confirmed to be the Ixal's primal. Kobolds use plenty of earth-element based moves and drop things such as "Titan mythrilpiece" or use moves like "Titan's anger", so this leaves me with no doubt about that.

With that aside, what intrigues me is all the fuss about the Garleans. Why do they hate the primals so much, up to the point of brainwashing conquered nations into hating them? Do they just want to conquer everything and see the Primals as a potential problem or do they know something we don't about their true nature?

Also, the battle shown at the opening is unrelated to their initial invasion and not the major reason to their retreat. If you talk with some NPCS (I believe some inside the path of the twelve when doing the R46 mission, and the battlewardens in mor dhona) they say that the Garleans "have been quiet for quite such time, except for an incident a few years ago above mor dhona).

This open room for a small speculation: Ala Mhigo discovered something they deemed potentially dangerous, possible Primal related. They went there, kicked butts, built a wall around the place, no reason to attack the other city-states, so they leave.

Later, the garleans see the exact same thing near Ishgard and try to attack them....only to be greeted by DRAGONS EVERYWHERE OH MY. Obviously, they retreat and wait.

In the mean time, the other primals are unleashed upon eorzea and align themselfs with the beast tribes...the garleans take notice of that and decide to once again do their job. Remember that after the R36 mission, they even drop linkpearls on the city states clearly stating they will not attack and protect everyone that helped fighting against the beast tribes, their primals and those touched by the echo, (and of course included a bit of "Also: We get to peacefully rule you in the mean time). Maybe the Garleans are at the same time power hunger (oh boy, they DO want to conquer stuff and their theme is pretty menacing) but they may also have something legitimate against the Primals.

Remember that we are often reminded that the Garleans are NOT the main menace.

I think someone alrdy mentioned this but the time line won't make sense if we use the theory the primals were born from the dragon that died at Mor Dhona. Since we learn in the Ul'dah missions and in one of the lore pages on the official site that the primals have existed for a long time and the beastmen think of them as gods. Hence where the confusion would take place, how can something that has existed for hundreds of years only be born 15 years ago.

Unless you think of it as, the primals were sealed away either at Mor Dhona by someone or within that dragon and as a result when the dragon died or crashed into the seal at Mor Dhona they were freed. This theory also opens up a new line of thinking though, which is what if that fight between the Garleans and the dragon was not just random aggravation caused by each others presence. Instead the Garleans were after the release of Primals to begin with, maybe in order to harness their power but the fight did not go as planned and they suffered more damaged then they intended too. The reason i came up with this theory is in one of the Ul'dah missions you learn the Garleans are searching for something, which seems to be the focus of their concern right now.

Edit** this might also explain why the Garleans sent linkpearls stating their war is not with the races but with the beastmen. The Primals which escaped capture during that incident 15 years ago are now allied with the beastmen and hence why the Garleans are targetting them instead of the city-states. Ala Mhigo might have been connected to these primals in someway or may have held the key to the location of their seal; which is why the Garleans only targeted them and did not bother coming for the other cities. We do learn from the lore page that Ala Mhigo was the most powerful of the states, this may have had something to do with the Primals powers

I gotta admit , just about any ff game has a storyline that is kinda:

...wait for it, wait for it....we're gonna reveal something...at the end you will have this huge reveal, ....you are confused through the whole thing....but don't worry....one day, some time some how.....we will have this huge reveal.......but it'll never actually make sense...

I watch many anime, and play other games (metal gear anyone?) that are just one big ball of convolution. I can only imagine that these ultra-complex stories, the "wtf is going on" then the huge reveal (that isn't ever a full explanation)....is something that gamers like....gamers that are not me....

:3

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Originally Posted by Shura

I think someone alrdy mentioned this but the time line won't make sense if we use the theory the primals were born from the dragon that died at Mor Dhona. Since we learn in the Ul'dah missions and in one of the lore pages on the official site that the primals have existed for a long time and the beastmen think of them as gods. Hence where the confusion would take place, how can something that has existed for hundreds of years only be born 15 years ago.

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Actually the official site states the primals were first summoned 10 yeears ago ;P

i dont think the problem is so much about the lack of new information revealed but rather poor presentation and implementation of the existing lore. There is already a great story and lore for the world in this game but instead of conveying that story through ingame quests/missions/ and events, they have it on 2 pages on the internet. You can satisfy 70-80% of the population if they turned the current existing lore into a form of quest or mission you progress through. We already have the concept of "echo". which allows the player to view/life the past; you can simply expand on this concept and create a ark of quests and missions that simply retell the lore on the site in a quest progression fashion.

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Originally Posted by SirEdeonX

Actually the official site states the primals were first summoned 10 yeears ago ;P

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your right, must of got it mixed up with the ul'dah mission then, i do know in one of the missions it states the crystals and shards used by the beastmen gods for power was running low because of the trade alliance between the beastmen and the city-states. hence why they beastmen stopped the trade, in order to prepare for the Garleans attack. it mentions how the last time they were summoned was before the races came to eorzea or something, but could be my misunderstanding, did the mission months ago.

But i think my theory of the Garleans attack still works, its odd the Garleans attacked Ala Mhigo a city filled with the 5 races then left, then attacked the dragon and now they claim they don't want war with the races but instead they want to destory the beastmen, who the primals are allied with.

Has anyone else pointed out that one of the biggest reasons the Garleans might have been in Mor Dhona in the first place is that Silvertear Falls is apparently a huge crystal vein, and according to some of the rank missions(rank 30) I believe, they've had a detachment of troops there for years?

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Originally Posted by Malakhim

Has anyone else pointed out that one of the biggest reasons the Garleans might have been in Mor Dhona in the first place is that Silvertear Falls is apparently a huge crystal vein, and according to some of the rank missions(rank 30) I believe, they've had a detachment of troops there for years?

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It's possible -- all the more reason I expect the first expansion pack to be something akin to a history/build up of the Garleans since they seem pretty prominent yet current quests and storyline barely taps into it.

Another strange part that was touched on during one of my missions was that the Garlean Empire stole a bunch of the Forest Sprite Eggs. They had full scale Megatech Armor busting through Gridania forest. What could they want with those eggs?

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Originally Posted by Judge_Xero

Another strange part that was touched on during one of my missions was that the Garlean Empire stole a bunch of the Forest Sprite Eggs. They had full scale Megatech Armor busting through Gridania forest. What could they want with those eggs?

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Have you ever tasted a Sylph omelet? friggin delicious

Sylph Egg can make drugs, Garlean Empire use drugs to brainwash children and make them into mounts.

Actually if you speak around with Conjurer Guild NPC they will tell you that the Sylph command Conjury that far surpass the five races' ability. Most likely Garlean Empire want to brainwash the next generation of Sylphs into their army.

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Originally Posted by DavidLocksley

So much for what I really wanted to talk about. I am glad anouther post got taken over by people who don't like the game.

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The adventurer was not from the empire, he was being constricted by the morlboro when the empire thing crashed ontop of him. This knocked him out and he ended up on the ship.

My guess is that Ishgard was behind the dragons but them being summons I kinda doubt, we'll need more insight on ishgard. I know the guards at the gate mentioned something bout giving myself to the fury but I walked away thinking he was hitting on me.

Now that I think about it, the image that has the FFXIV logo on the top of the forum could very well be Silvertear Falls, or at least Silvertear pre-razing.

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Originally Posted by Malakhim

Now that I think about it, the image that has the FFXIV logo on the top of the forum could very well be Silvertear Falls, or at least Silvertear pre-razing.

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I am of the opinion that Silvertear Falls is Mor Dhona, before and after the dragon attack respectively. I'm open to it being something completely different.

I'd also like to know how far back the echo "works". So far in the cutscenes it doesn't seem to go back too much at all. It also seems that others can notice you when you are "echoing". If that's so, could you change the events in the past?

As of right now there seems to be multiple potential threats to the Eorzean people (us):

Dragons

The Dragons seem to be a very clear and present danger for the denizens of Ishgard as of this moment. Where did the Dragons come from? How long has this war been raging? Do these Dragons have any relation to the Dragon in the opening?

The Beast Tribes

We can literally fight the beast tribes in the open world. Then again, we can also fight NPC's of the five races as well. The fear of economic sanctions might cause the governments of Eorzea to band against the Beast tribes. Each nation seems to have it's own motives to do so as the beast tribes seem to randomly assault the citizens of the three nations. The Ul'Dahn Syndicate and the Thalassocracy are prepping for war while Thancred, Y'shtola, Papalymo, Yda, the Sylphs, and Minfilia are actively trying to persuade us, and our respective governments, to avoid war.

The Primals (Eikons as they are called by Garleans)

The Primals (Eikons) are the "Gods" of the Beast tribes. The Garleans see the Beast tribes as heretics and vice versa. No one has "seen" the Twelve Gods that our city-states tend to worship and the Beast tribes revel in the fact that they can summon their Gods at will. Each tribe has a patron deity as the city-states do.

Amaal'ja/Ifrit
Ixal/Garuda
Sahagin/Leviathan
Kobolds/Titan
Sylphs/ ???? (Carbuncle seems appropriate but there is no mention of it)
Dragons????/ ???? (If Dragons are considered a Beast tribe then Bahamut: see above)

In some Gridanian cut scenes a character tends to be pushing the idea of "believing in what you cannot see" as a silly notion.

The Empire of Garlemald

The proprietors of the Adventurer's guilds in each city build up the Garleans as a ruthless imposing empire that could attack at any moment and that our resistance, as Eorzea's populace, would be a practice in futility. That is unless you talk to Momodi. She seems very confident in Ul'Dah's defenses for some reason.

They successfully attacked Ala Mihgo and have built a wall around it to keep people from fleeing to the other nations of Eorzea. There is only one road out, and that is North, to the Empire of Garlemald. It is believed that the Garleans are on a propaganda campaign to "re-educate" the Eorzean populace. This seems to be particularly prevalent with the children of Ala Mihgo.

The Garleans are actively trying to create conflict between Eorzeans and the Beast tribes. The Garleans seem to want us to take arms against the Beat tribes. They may see the Beast tribes as a possible threat to their civilization.

Minfilia and company are actively trying to avoid war altogether. They employ the same foreboding tones as the Adventurer's guild proprietors do and galvanize our fears with the Garleans.

There are several avenues for which the story arch could take place. There are reasons for Eorzeans to be peaceful with all these potential "enemies" but it seems far fetched that they would be peaceful with themselves. Eorzea seems to be a geopolitical powder keg at this moment in time. As there are many different factions and interests operating on all levels of each civilization.

The Slyphs want peace between Eorzeans while the Dragons (speculative beast race) are already at war with the Ishgardians.

Sharlayans and Lominsan's seems to be at odds (as seen in the Limsa Lominsa R15 quest).

Lominsan's are weary of themselves with the Musketeers (soldiers of the Thalassocracy), and pirate gangs, (Kraken's Arms and the Sanguine Sirens), on each other's tails.

The pirate gangs within Limsa Lominsa are at each other's throats with an upcoming Naval race on the horizon. While some Musketeers are Pirates in disguise. On top of that, some legitimate soldiers at the La Noscean Aetheryte camps are former pirates themselves. This may also be true of some members of Limsa Lominsa's elite fighting force "The Yellow Jackets". On top of that, Mealvaan's Gate has the Astalicia "[the thalassocracy's] worst kept secret..." officially documented as a "...ship from foreign waters".

The Amaal'ja and the Ixal seem to have some bad blood between each other.

Eorzeans and Garleans have similar faiths, "the Twelve".

Eorzeans claim to have only witnessed the emergence of the Primals about ten years ago. The Beast tribes claim the Primals as creators of the world in which we live.

They could very well be one in the same, just different manifestations of each other. Alternatively they could share the same relationship as the Grecian Titans and the subsequent Gods of Olympus.

The drums of war are resounding throughout Eorzea. There are economic, religious, and geopolitical motivations for it. All that is needed is a failure to negotiate and a perceived act of aggression.

Final Fantasy XIV's story does not suck. If you think it does, you're either not paying attention or you don't know story.

I dunno, grid's storyline feels somewhat removed from whatever is going on and after you finally make some headway its like "Welp time for you to go to ul'dah, peace."

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Originally Posted by Nephera

I dunno, grid's storyline feels somewhat removed from whatever is going on and after you finally make some headway its like "Welp time for you to go to ul'dah, peace."

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Because they are a bunch of tree huggers that have no knowledge of the outside world.

On the other hand the LNC quests actively seek aid from Ul'dah PUG Guild (specifically the Ala Mhigan faction within the guild) while ARC quests revolve around cooperation with Ishgard. Interestingly the Ala Mhigan faction within the PUG Guild are bad, bad people (From PUG quests).

And the MIN r20 quest reveals that there is another civilisation that thrived long time ago near Thanalan (kinda forgot the name).

Gridania seems like zelda to me. Magical forest with time/space magics.
Ima end up picking it and ffxiv story don't suck I just want to play the damg game already >< back to slaming my head into my CE box then my pc.

After reading through all of the posts in this thread (and Kilta_Firelotus, you really should have done the same instead of essentially repeating what had already been said; only the first few posts were off-topic :P), I really don't have anything to add, haha. You guys have covered all of the bases and explained as much of the storyline as I already know, and even filled in a few tiny plot holes for me.

As for all of the speculation, to me it all sounds spot-on and very believable. I just hope that after Yoshi-P and his team have worked their magic and we've got the foundation for this game set up, that this game will be absolutely spectacular in the storyline department. They've really got quite the story set up already; let's just pray that they execute it well!

Seif and Gala why didn't you like the previous game's stories?

**Spoilers***
I started off in Limsa Lominsa - the island.

A water dragon appears in the ocean in my character's opening cut scene and also later on in a mission quest, like around level 15. The water dragon appears out at sea again and destroys the pirate ship I was on and several others. Also, in my story quest, my character has the ability to hear that 'singing voice' from the cut scene and it is revealed to be a rare gift that only certain people have the ability to do? So, I'm wondering if my characters has some hidden ability in connection to dragons, but it's just speculation. If I'm wrong about this, I'd like to be corrected.

People are still confused surrounding Ishgard and the dragons, I think. From what I've seen, Ishgardians and dragons are MORTAL ENEMIES; no way would Ishgard people summon dragons when the few Ishgardians you see prancing around are actively hunting down dragons.

Dragons are a beast, perhaps at the most a beast-tribe. Since the summons seem to be taken directly from FFXI as well, Shiva and Ramuh are most likely to be the last two summons in kind Rhomagus' extensive post. Anybody else think that Rhomagus' post should have a place in the OP's post so people can have some understanding/speculation of what the game is about, instead of shifting through all these pages?

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Originally Posted by Rhomagus

I'd also like to know how far back the echo "works". So far in the cutscenes it doesn't seem to go back too much at all. It also seems that others can notice you when you are "echoing". If that's so, could you change the events in the past?

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The echo can go back a REALLY FRIGGIN' long way.

*fair warning, there are some Conj quest spoilers here...***

In the R36 Conj quest, you do an escort job for the NPC Morys. You basically echo all the way back to his childhood. (they don't give exact figures, but we're talking like he's early 20's maybe in real-time, but in the Echo he was like 10 maybe 12?)

Regarding whether or not you can change anything.... well, they're not really clear about that. In the same quest (inside the echo) you have to defend "young" Morys from wolves at Amberscale Rock. Which begs the question.... prior to echo who defended him from the wolves? The elementals? :confused: And did your act of running defense make a bit of difference? Because it seems that the elementals still have claim over Morys.

**SPOILERS OVER***

But yeah, looks like there's not too many limitations on the Echo as far as timeline goes.

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Originally Posted by Frisque

The echo can go back a REALLY FRIGGIN' long way.

*fair warning, there are some Conj quest spoilers here...***

In the R36 Conj quest, you do an escort job for the NPC Morys. You basically echo all the way back to his childhood. (they don't give exact figures, but we're talking like he's early 20's maybe in real-time, but in the Echo he was like 10 maybe 12?)

Regarding whether or not you can change anything.... well, they're not really clear about that. In the same quest (inside the echo) you have to defend "young" Morys from wolves at Amberscale Rock. Which begs the question.... prior to echo who defended him from the wolves? The elementals? :confused: And did your act of running defense make a bit of difference? Because it seems that the elementals still have claim over Morys.

**SPOILERS OVER***

But yeah, looks like there's not too many limitations on the Echo as far as timeline goes.

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SPOILERS For Limsa Arc:

It should be noted that the ENTIRE Limsa arc before the story joining is one big trip to the past, being that at the very beginning, you see Stahllman, who is prominent throughout the entire arc as the commandant of the Knights of The Barrcuda who is trying to take down the current Admiral, is actually a deckhand, a DECKHAND, on the ferry you came in on. Once you hit rank 15, you'll eventually meet a character named Blackman(I forget his name) that tells you that hat Stahllman has been "coming to this spot for years, still searching for something he lost".

Moreover, your character goes through what seems to be an "echo overload" when he proceeds to view past events within past events when you see Y'shtola confronting Stahllman, and then when you go further to see his scheming with Emerick and Merodalyin(spelling), and then cuts back to Y'shtola. I am not sure if Trevanchet and the rest of his kind, whom I assume are other shadowless or ascians, have the ability to use the echo as well.

/SPOILERS.

Either way, Eorzea seems to be screwed on all fronts.

At this point I think it might be wise to put spoiler tags on the thread title, as we've gone into more than just before the game even begins, which is partially my fault. >.>

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Originally Posted by Galamantyl

I am in favor of more classes/content/equipment in future expansions.

I am strongly against more storyline that SquareEnix has failed with for the past 5~6 titles now.

I am strongly against SquareEnix being allowed to make such horrible storylines. Japan needs to pass a law stating they should be prohibited from doing so henceforth.

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This isn't what the OP is talking about at all...

Thanks, and I really enjoyed the thought you put into this, sorry that some people hijacked the thread.
Anyway, I too want to know more about what happened before we joined in the game, from what I can tell Al-Mingo was sacked and now those people are finding themselves in the various towns.

I wonder if this wasn't a battle between Al-mingo and the Imperials. Even if it didn't happen over Mor-Dhora, the ship might have just crashed there etc.

I can't wait to see where the story goes from here. :)

Bumping this thread because this thread is threadfully useful and interesting.

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Originally Posted by whoopeeragon

People are still confused surrounding Ishgard and the dragons, I think. From what I've seen, Ishgardians and dragons are MORTAL ENEMIES; no way would Ishgard people summon dragons when the few Ishgardians you see prancing around are actively hunting down dragons.

Dragons are a beast, perhaps at the most a beast-tribe. Since the summons seem to be taken directly from FFXI as well, Shiva and Ramuh are most likely to be the last two summons in kind Rhomagus' extensive post. Anybody else think that Rhomagus' post should have a place in the OP's post so people can have some understanding/speculation of what the game is about, instead of shifting through all these pages?

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There are a few posts on here before mine that were very informative as well. I'd like it if certain aspects of the story were were bolded then a brief explanation was provided below it. It would be even better if people could include links citing their sources.

For example:

Races

Wildwood Elezen

From the official site:

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For hundreds of years the Wildwood Elezen have lived in the safety of Eorzea’s lush forests. They possess an incredibly keen sense of sight — a contributing factor in their unparalleled expertise as archers. With the formation of the realm’s governments, many Wildwood ventured forth from the forests, drawn either to the exhilarating cosmopolitanism of the urban centers or the simple nomadism of the plains.

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- http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/#/world/races/elezen/l

According to Prosperlain, the Officer at Arms in Gridania:

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We Wildwood have lived amongst the trees for nigh on nine hundred years. We share the same tall, slender physiques as our Duskwight brethren, but are known for our sharper vision--a trait which lends itself well to our prowess with the bow. Our clan is also known for its innovative genius.
The carpentry of Gridania's immense wooden structures of the leather trade--these and more are the products of Wildwood ingenuity, handed down through the ages.

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- http://www.eorzeapedia.com/wiki/en/Prosperlain

If you're really curious though, there are sites for this kind of thing like eorzeapedia and such. Both of the above chunks I've used for my example can be found there. Including links is a good way to cite sources regardless because it let's readers interpret for themselves while still backing up a poster's claims.

Also, if my post is included I wouldn't want all of it in there, but if it were formatted as I've shown above and *SPOILERED* in white text I think that would be fine.

Not everyone wants to read what they haven't seen yet in-game. Others love the journey.

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Originally Posted by Rhomagus

There are a few posts on here before mine that were very informative as well. I'd like it if certain aspects of the story were were bolded then a brief explanation was provided below it. It would be even better if people could include links citing their sources.

For example:

Races

Wildwood Elezen

From the official site:

- http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/#/world/races/elezen/l

According to Prosperlain, the Officer at Arms in Gridania:
- http://www.eorzeapedia.com/wiki/en/Prosperlain

If you're really curious though, there are sites for this kind of thing like eorzeapedia and such. Both of the above chunks I've used for my example can be found there. Including links is a good way to cite sources regardless because it let's readers interpret for themselves while still backing up a poster's claims.

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Shh... You can't actually point this out.

There are still people who refuse to believe the game has any lore...

Not to involuntarily bump the thread, but I find it pertinent to mention that when some site spoke with the devs on the story, they likened the current conflicts in Eorzea to be similar to the period when Greece was on the cusp of being invaded by the Persians.

Just a little more perspective on the coming tide of events.

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Originally Posted by Malakhim

Not to involuntarily bump the thread, but I find it pertinent to mention that when some site spoke with the devs on the story, they likened the current conflicts in Eorzea to be similar to the period when Greece was on the cusp of being invaded by the Persians.

Just a little more perspective on the coming tide of events.

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Do you happen to have a link to that? I must've missed that part and would love to give it another read.

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Originally Posted by Chrees

Do you happen to have a link to that? I must've missed that part and would love to give it another read.

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Here you go.

It's not actually an interview as I thought it was as it was a pre-launch press release. They mention this somewhere in the first few paragraphs.

Basically the way the Garleans are advancing is similar to the Greece/Persia thing.

Wow.. actually the history of Eorzea is quite like Greece :D

-The current situation in Eorzea is similar to the months before the Persian Empire marched on Greece.
-Eorzea contains several independently governed city-states, like those found in ancient Greece.
-And just like those in Greece, the ones in Eorzea have a long history of war and alliances.

And let's not forget all the gods of Eorzea, and their relations of parenthood such, just like the Greek mythology.

Yep.

I'm not going to disagree that due to the presentation, the story seems very disjointed, and hard to get attached to for that very fact. 50 DKP minus to SE, but the story that is there blows anything I've seen in FFXI(and I haven't gotten much farther than rank 6 admittedly for several reasons) out of the water so far.

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Originally Posted by SirEdeonX

Wow.. actually the history of Eorzea is quite like Greece :D

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Incidentally this is why I like the current class naming scheme, as they sound very classical and reminiscent of the Hellenistic world, even though MZ pointed out in his thread that the roots of each class name is actually Latin.

I'd like to thank you those who have responded with such interesting thoughts about the story, I find the lore to be very interesting and some of the things said here cleared up some confusion. My weak sauce contribution is that as an adventurer I think the idea is you can be from anywhere.

my kids thought this was the most awesome thing ever. I agree. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzC510DpbU0

Minfilia is a Garlean Spy out to summon the Paragon of Fury and reign supreme dictator of all Eorzea!!!!111

You heard it here first.