The greatest lolwut moments on a duty

One time back in 2.0 a few friends and I got really bored and decided to derp around in Wander's Palace with all of us as Paladin. We went in fully expecting to wipe before the 1st boss.

Somehow (and I'm still not sure how we managed it...) we got all the way to the last boss without a single death. It was single-handedly the most entertaining run I've ever done.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ClaraLux

He's probably doing it to spiritbind and get crafting materia, which is really valuable. I wear crafting gear in dungeons too sometimes, but never 4 pieces at once. Two at most.

---

not likely, considering PGL was the only class he had leveled.

i was in CT as WHM and one of the tanks was tanking iron giants at king behemoth i kept regen up for him then he scolded on me by losing aggro of iron giants

i was like lolwut?

if regen does all that of aggro losing to him i wonder how this guy will tank T4?

or more likely adds on levi EX

I went low-lv duty today and ended up in Brayflox. Our tank warned us he hadn't been here for a while, but seeing as Brayflox isn't hard from a tactical point of view (if anything it's a brain-check and gearcheck) there wasn't a huge problem. I was ilvl 68 Bard, the other DD ilvl 90 Monk, heal was downleveled from 40 and Tank was PLD, downleveled from 36 or so (judging by equip anyway).
Both the Monk and me regularly tanked adds, but that's not a huge problem since I can kite and Monk does fairly well tanking one mob :P

However, the endboss was just super-hilarious. First try the Monk and me went through multiple tank-swaps until we wiped. Allright, so I said we'd wait half a minute for the tank to get hate and move on. So I'm literally counting to 20 after the room closed while the Monk starts to attack the boss, but only used auto-attacks. I start dps-ing and after like 5-10 GCDs I was on 90% hate. I'm like "this has to be a bug, right?"

Well, after the tank died (healer went oom, since monk and me had to stand around iddle half of the fight unless we wanted to pull the boss from the tank^^) I'm looking through his equip and see a level 20 sword.

I tell him he should really, for his and our sake, get a new weapon after this dungeon asap, as it will make it far easier for him to tank and boss fights will get way easier when the dd's get to dps all the time. We had some nice chats and tried and tried again.

We finally downed the final boss at the 5 minutes left mark after 45! minutes of trying. Noone abandoned which was shockingly nice anyway, but here's the funniest part.

We beat the boss by both me and the monk forcefully dc-ing midfight to reset our aggro, so we could go full dps and it actually worked^^

Most hilarious "tactic" I've yet used :D

Just today in DF T1 we were about to die on Cad with it only having like a sliver of health left. So, I looked at the list and saw the Healer up and was like, good... and then looked at chat saw LB, pulled it off. SMN is not to be messed with! Haha it was a fun party and I now have a new strategy for the trash that I didnt' know of.

Garuda Ex, after the first wipe i wrote in chat: "She is so powerful, no way we can beat her". Vote abandon popped and passed.
Good thing i didn't mention she has wiped a whole twin adder patrol (alone)...

I had a DR run of Tam-Tara where the ACN summoned the Topaz Carbuncle at first. The tank asked them to switch it out for the Emerald Carbuncle, which they did. And then for the remainder of the dungeon, they only cast Physick. I pointed out that, usually, an ACN would put DOTs on enemies and that we already had a CNJ to heal, but they ignored me, so we went along with it and the CNJ did DPS in Cleric Stance. It all worked out fine, given that it's a low-level dungeon, but it was rather strange.

I assume the ACN really wanted to be a SCH and wasn't prepared to wait!

Cutter's Cry Chimera. Did you know a Bard can solo that fight? Because that happened once - three of us wiped leaving only the bard, who ran around and kited for the remaining 15% of its HP without ever taking another scratch.

When I was levelling Arcanist, I got a group of people to go to Halatali (Normal) from my FC and we didn't bother to check what classes everyone was, so when we jumped in, it was four DPS. On that day I learned that, in a pinch, Arcanist can substitute as both Tank and Healer completely effectively.

The most fun I've ever had in a Duty Finder though was actually on my first Praetorium run. The group was really pleasant, they had no problems watching cutscenes, and when we got to Ultima, someone was like "hold up I don't want this to be over yet. This group's great let's do something CRAZY". They confirmed we all knew the basics of the fight, and then said, "Okay, now, nobody kill the Magitek bits". The battle became an absolutely crazy lightshow by the end, but we came super close to succeeding - there were just too many DPS dead at the final phase to burn him down fast enough (and we couldn't limit break because standing still got you wrecked).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Garlyle

blop

---

The praetorium part...I gotta try that out!
Most ppl think the main scenario is boring so hopefully they wouldnt mind if we spiced it up a little

Like a group I had in castrum, they all decided that the healers job was too easy so NO ONE dodged one single aoe. And instead of turning off the search lights at the end the tank thought it'd be fun to bring ALL of the big colossus mobs at one go. I laughed so hard

Qued for HM in progress leveling my SCH... BRD, MNK and me, no tank. I said "Lets give it a try" Thinking a tank should join us any time. The 3 of us ran the whole dungeon with the MNK tanking and was one of the smoothest runs I ever did.

I have this one lolwut moment that will never leave me. Was just to bizarre.

Shortly after launch I was in a dgn. Ppl still learning what you need to do. I can only assume that this person was having trouble changing chat modes cause there's no way this was not a mt.

"I hope rainbow sparkles come out his ass"

Everyone just stopped 'lolwut??' After several moments the guy finally said "sorry mt" and we went on. But I was laughing and definitely forwarded the laugh to my FC who were also 'lolwut' lol

I derped my first run through Brayflox at the two firedrakes. We entered the fight raring to go... and suddenly I had no tools. My entire first-row toolbar was blank! Nothing! The rest of the team was yelling "Tank! TAAAAAANK!" and I said "I lost my toolbars!" and they were saying "HTF do you lose your entire toolbar?"

Anyway, we wiped and re-assembled and the DRG asked me "What number is out to the left of your toolbar?" and I say "Uh. It's 10. Why is it 10?"

That was the moment I learned you could "roll" through the base toolbar :)

I'd apparently rolled my toolbar with an errant mouse swipe - to the L10 bar.

But... the DRG and his WHM girlfriend were great sports, good humored folks, and I got my toolbars re-set and we proceeded to kick arse for the rest of the run. The DRG got my commendation for leadership under pressure!

See someone killing that turtle.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LalaRu

See someone killing that turtle.

---

Party:Stop attacking!
DPS:WAT
Party:Stop attacking!
DPS:WAT
Party: stop atta-turtle dies- :|
DPS: o

I've abandoned titan ex quest twice while trying to abandon failed duty runs.

Getting one-shot as a tank and noticing your defiance wasn't up
----> 7people instantly die left and right



...


Oops? Sorry guys. Guys?

The other day I ran Copperbell Mines (normal) as MNK for my low-level roulette. Tank didn't even seem to be trying to hold hate. Every time the healer would throw out a heal, she'd instantly get mobbed. I had to switch targets all the time because I kept stealing aggro. Eventually the healer told him to use flash. She told him again. And again. I noticed that he had been spamming his Riot Blade combo - the one that restores MP. I mentioned that the other one is the one that builds enmity. No response. Some time after the second boss (which he somehow knew how to handle - he only killed the Blasting Cap once), he said "sorry, i'm distracted," in party chat, but he didn't change anything. The healer and I decided to just zerg the boss, the other DPS was on board. I ended up tanking the boss, the whole fight. I thanked the healer for keeping me alive (that guy can hit hard). Tank takes the loot and leaves without a word.

A while back I was running Cutter's Cry as BLM I think, and had a group with a 38 CNJ in it.

When I asked why she wasn't WHM, she said;
1: She didn't have time to do the quests
2: The job spells WHM gets are useless anyways
3: She'll lose out on her favourite cross class skills if she goes WHM.

I responded to one with "If you had time to level to 38, you had time to do the quests.

I responded to two with "None of the WHM spells are useless. PoM is highly situational sure, but the rest are amazing.

And I responded to three by telling her the benefits gained from the soul crystal outweigh any cross class skills.

Then she proceeded to tell me to shut my mouth, as if I was being some elitist douchebag. I tried to explain further, but I could tell she really wasn't getting it, and felt like I was picking on her, so I just let it go. When we got to the first boss, I explained the healer kite method to her. She was confused by my telling her not to heal, just run. Finally I told her to use Regen since she can cast that on the run. But I forgot that was a WHM spell. This was a perfect opportunity for me to prove to her that she needs to unlock WHM. But I didn't have to. The tank, who it turns out was her husband, piped up with, "I think he's right babe, I was wondering why other healers had regen but you don't."

Then suddenly add her fourth excuse to the list: It was her husbands fault for not making her unlock WHM, considering he knew what Regen was.

lolwut? /facepalm

Does Party Finder count?

Hoppped into a Brayflox HM speedrun party and there was a WAR there fully decked out in all Allagan equipment
First pull, all he does is try to position the mobs for Overpower and of course loses hate to me and the other BLM resulting in a wipe. I ask him why he didn't do Steel Cyclone, he responded with "You do realize I need 5 stacks of wrath for that right?"

All I could do was facepalm and say "{Infuriate} instant 5 stacks of wrath." The WAR didn't say another word the rest of the run :]

And yes I'm aware of Infuriate > Unchained (optional) > Berserk > Overpower spam, but this guy was ONLY using Overpower

Had a healer in a Garuda HM (for Duty Roulette Trials) go off on me yesterday. (The other healer died, presumably never did it before) and I was tanking garuda and the closest add that spawns during the first phase after Aerial Blast. I eventually died, and the healer goes off on me for the rest of the fight "Wow you got allagan axe and don't even know how to tank". I was like "excuse me?" and he responds with "You just MPKed half the party by facing the mob to everyone". Of course, I respond with "Maybe because I'm DEAD due to lack of heals?" For the rest of the fight he kept ragging on me saying I got carried through my twin kill etc, and the rest of the party is sticking up for me and is like "He didn't do anything wrong, lol"

People are extremely silly.

this was a few months ago when I was still on the japanese servers.
I get in as a scholar to Wanderer's Palace for a roulette and cast protect, summon my fairy.
I'm standing waiting for the tank to go and everyone's just standing waiting.
I'm like ? and tank then says (in japanese) to cast stone skin.

I'm like....I'm a scholar I don't have stone skin..... ._.;

He then was like SIGH and finally we were off to kill things.
Needless to say,after that day I decided to level up my white mage ＿|￣|○ il||li

The first time I did Titan story I was with two friends on voice chat. It was there first time too. I read a guide beforehand. I tell them I can tank it, I know what to do. The fourth member is a lancer we get through DF. Everything is going fine, Titan does his first Geocrush and I'm all "Okay run outside of the circle now!" They all listen to me. Titan lands, the edge collapses and we all fall to our deaths. My friend calmly understates: "So, uh, that didn't seem like that was the right thing to do, man". Lol. I asked for a second to look at that guide again which I had clearly read incorrectly.

Had a mild one the other night.

Joined a BF full speedrun group farming Soldiery. I joined as my i83 BLM. Elder Staff, Crimson body DL legs, i90 and Ultima ACCs. Nothing special.

I'm paired with another BLM. He's wearing FULL i90 with a couple pieces of and the Allagan weapon. Dude was decked. So we run along and something weird keeps happening. I keep dying. The other BLM isn't engaging adds during bosses, even when the healer is on the verge of death. I'm pulling whole crowds off the (somewhat crappy) PLD with my AOEs anytime Quelling isn't up. And it dawns on me. I'm hardly ever hearing Flare go off that isn't my own. OtherBLM is just like... lazily casting Fire 2. Waits 7 or 8 seconds. Fire 2 again. At the end he casts Flare once. At bosses he just stands there doing the basic Fire 3 > F1 rotation over and over. No thunder. No nothing. I watch the guys MP and he barely depletes it most of the time. He outgears me by a mile and is casting maybe a third of what I'm doing. Takin' it easy in a speedrun I guess. lolwut

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Darksword

The other BLM isn't engaging adds during bosses,

---

Both DPS are supposed to ignore adds during bosses. The tank can hold all the adds (as long as nobody else runs through the sniper sights on the first boss) and the healers can heal through it

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nukocafe

this was a few months ago when I was still on the japanese servers.
I get in as a scholar to Wanderer's Palace for a roulette and cast protect, summon my fairy.
I'm standing waiting for the tank to go and everyone's just standing waiting.
I'm like ? and tank then says (in japanese) to cast stone skin.

I'm like....I'm a scholar I don't have stone skin..... ._.;

He then was like SIGH and finally we were off to kill things.
Needless to say,after that day I decided to level up my white mage ＿|￣|○ il||li

---

I'm not sure how this is a lulwut moment? It's generally assumed all SCH have stoneskin and swiftcast by the time they hit 50 and start doing endgame.

Of course, you being an example, it's clearly not always the case.

Dzemael Darkhold as a Monk.

For the most part, it was a middle-of-the-road run. The healer had a handful of iffy moments (one explained by toddler aggro), which meant a couple wipes and a couple close calls, but nothing earth-shattering.

On the final boss, though, he just... isn't all there. Slow to react to pretty much everything. We made it to the final phase before people started dropping. Can't remember if it was healer first or tank first, but regardless, I ended up being the last one standing and barely taking the boss down. The tank politely (really; everybody was cool) tells the healer he needs to work on his reaction time and especially keeping tanks up.

The healer replied "Well, it's hard when you all move around so fast!"

I just... don't know what he was expecting. These bosses don't really give us room to RP-walk out of AOEs.

I had one tonight, in Copperbell Mines on my archer (on another server) tank pulls more mobs than usual, can handle it and does a good job, he looses aggro for a split second, and the OT tells him off. I'm like lolwat? Has anyone died or failed? No, then wtf are you complaining for? Run was smooth and good fun, no mess ups. This is the second player I've met like this, who upon trying to blacklist, it says player not found Oo. They must log off straight away or something.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Elim

I'm not sure how this is a lulwut moment? It's generally assumed all SCH have stoneskin and swiftcast by the time they hit 50 and start doing endgame.

Of course, you being an example, it's clearly not always the case.

---

When i reached lv50 i had stoneskin too, but when i progressed into the endgame i replaced it with blizzard II. Speaking of which, was doing atma farm with PF recruitment open, sch joined group and was just standing near us. I hinted he could pop a CS and do some damage - he said he does not have CS and heals only. I asked if he gets a gold medal for healing only - he said he does not heal, pet does. One fate later he switched to blm and simply dpsed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Elim

I'm not sure how this is a lulwut moment? It's generally assumed all SCH have stoneskin and swiftcast by the time they hit 50 and start doing endgame.

Of course, you being an example, it's clearly not always the case.

---

You'd be extremely surprised how many scholars I run into in DF (now as a DPS) that do not have stone skin.
So while I feel bad about it retroactively, looking back now and seeing people come to garuda ex without SS I feel much better!

I've also run into Whms in Garuda Ex & Ultima who don't even have swiftcast which is a million times worse >_>

Tinkerbell failing to get the memo that her SCH just ate a landslide and continues to keep the rest of us standing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Elim

I'm not sure how this is a lulwut moment? It's generally assumed all SCH have stoneskin and swiftcast by the time they hit 50 and start doing endgame.

Of course, you being an example, it's clearly not always the case.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nukocafe

You'd be extremely surprised how many scholars I run into in DF (now as a DPS) that do not have stone skin.
So while I feel bad about it retroactively, looking back now and seeing people come to garuda ex without SS I feel much better!

---

I always /facepalm when a SCH tells me they don't have stoneskin. Hell, I use it on my PLD all the time.

A brayflox, while I'm levelling bard with low level roulette. A little nervous, since I hadn't been there in ages. There's a CT geared SCH and a 30ish geared GLA there, and another BRD. BRD instantly asks the GLA why she isn't a paladin, gets no response at all. Even without an advanced job this girl just... isn't good. I politely ask her to flash more since even on auto attack, I'm taking stuff off her quickly. She apologizes, but doesn't. I think "okay." and it's the slowest run ever, with me and the other bard being really careful.

After the first boss (which was a farce since she's not getting hate on the adds, making about 5 waves come up because me and the other bard are too busy killing the adds whom keep going for Eos), she starts walking. I say "what's the matter?" and she says "I'm stuck on auto walk" then we wait 10 minutes for the SCH (her friend, apparently!) to explain to her what keybinds are. I'm currently going "lolwut" and finally she starts bolting into the second boss, without the SCH. I hang back and type "get back over the line" but they don't. They're locked in, and both die quickly. The other BRD loses it at this point and isn't nice to the GLA, and the SCH responds with language that'd probably get me suspended just for repeating, some pretty foul stuff. The BRD then leaves duty.

We get a BLM! I'm thinking "score, now I won't have to fight for infantry if it drops" and the BLM is really nice about the GLA still being ridiculously bad and forgoes all AOE for sleeping every mob in every pack for her. We get to the dragon! And she can't dodge. Waymarkers are placed, it's explained repeatedly, and she says...

...you guessed it.

"I'm stuck on auto walk again :( "

I ask her if she's some kind of troll, and the SCH flips, again. The GLA is votekicked, and the SCH calls us some pretty horrible things. The BLM gets a PLD from his FC to help and I'm thinking "the SCH is so going to screw us up here" and she doesn't enter the fight. The BLM asks her, after we're all dead, if she's really going to be that petty. She says "sorry I'll focus now" and we take that... in earnest, and as soon as I get back to the bossline she says "lol retainers came back from a venture" and leaves duty. We laugh, knowing it was going to happen. BLM gets a WHM from his FC, we pass with no issue.

What is even with people

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MaethusXion

I always /facepalm when a SCH tells me they don't have stoneskin. Hell, I use it on my PLD all the time.

---

Right, all True Endgame PLD are supposed to have Stoneskin and Mercy Stroke, which is why I'm grinding up through CNJ and MRD now!

I did Trials Roulette yesterday as my DRG. Have not played that job in months. Titan HM!!! Not one person messes up. Everyone was alive at the end and it went perfectly.
If anyone has ever done DF Titan HM you all know this was a greatest lolwut moment. Never ever happens.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Steffie

I was the one who made a wtf moment. I joined a duty as a tank and tabbed out for about a minute to check out what's new on the crunchyroll and when i tabbed back, both DD left apparantly because they don't want to wait .... their DD queue must be ultra fast.

---

Maybe when you sign up to a duty you should, I dunno, actually do it as opposed to tabbing out?

Whenever I do a low level dungeon as a tank and get a SCH for the healer that claims they don't have Protect. Seriously, what the heck did they select for their first cross class skill?!

Cleric stance and aero to speed it up.

protect is near useless in the low stuff. Sides.... the fairy is op in low lvl dungeons.

One of my alts is a tank focused character, but I wanted to level CNJ to 34 for stoneskin. So I queue up as healer on the low level roulette.

Random Party member: "Buffs and protect please"

Me: "Yes please, protect would be cool."

*Pure silence at the start for a good 20 seconds.*

Then I realise I'm the freaking healer. Happens way too many times to me, too many times.

On titan ex, when titan was almost dead everyone died on super bombs+jump. Then he went in enrage and i tried to finish him but didnt made in time, he survived with 0.1% hp :o

Troll healer from hell...
The musical...
Because I'm a Bard...
Okay, that was a really stupid joke. I will hang my head in shame whilst I tell the story.

One time in AK, I was on BRD, and the WHM asked me to play Requiem because he was going to toss out a few holys when he could. The other DPS was a BLM so I was planning to do it anyway, so no big deal, right? Well, the tank pulls the cultist dudes over to the first group of mobs, and grabs the dulla and me and the BLM proceed to AoE the everliving crap out of them. And then the tank dies, and everyone else gets eaten pretty quick after he goes down. I notice before the WHM dies that he has no MP left. I thought, jeez, this dude really needs to learn how to manage his MP on bigger pulls. I have other player effects turned off, and I usually don't play with the sound on, so I didn't really notice that he was spamming holy the whole time, but apparently he healed the tank once or twice, cast regen on him, and then proceeded to DPS his little heart out.

The tank asked what happened. Did he have a controller malfunction, or did he have an emergency and have to leave the game for a second, or was that too many mobs for him to handle healing. He was a real nice guy, really understanding, and offered to pull fewer mobs if the WHM wasn't comfortable with big pulls. The WHM didn't say anything, and so we went on and just grabbed the three cultist dudes. This time I watched the WHM. He spammed holy and didn't heal the tank at all. The tank only dropped to half HP during the fight so no one said anything. He went for a bit bigger pull, and the same thing happened. The WHM spammed holy, didn't cure at all, and the tank died.

So the tank says something like, "you know that you kind of need to heal me, right? You ARE the healer, after all."

And the WHM replies, "It's not my fault your gear sucks so bad you can't stay alive on your own."

This tank was wearing allagan gear and pretty close to ilvl 90, back when that actually meant something. And then a vote kick for the tank pops up.

The BLM is like "lol, he just tried to vote kick you, dude"

The tank just laughs and we move on to pull again. WHM finally actually does some healing this time, and it seems like we're past all the stupidity.

And then we get to the first boss. The WHM blows all of his MP on holy while I've got requiem up. I have no MP left to pop up ballad, he has no MP left for cures, we all die and he starts cussing me out for being the worst bard that ever was or would be. And then the tank says someone just tried to vote kick me. So we vote kicked the WHM instead. I'm usually pretty good about using ballad when it's needed. I play a healer as my secondary class and I know how annoying it is to be low on MP while the BRD is off in lala land. I honestly had no idea he was going to blow all of his MP right off without leaving anything to heal the rest of the fight with, or I'd have started out with ballad (though I doubt that would have done much good). It really is amazing how quickly a WHM can blow through all their MP on holy.

I'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say he was probably just trolling. Because I don't think anyone could honestly be that stupid, incompetent and belligerent. WHMs who toss out a few nukes when they're able, and know how to keep on top of their MP and heals are always welcome. I know it can get pretty boring on the umpteenth runthrough of the same dungeon, and spamming holy a few times here and there breaks up the monotony and all. WHMs who would rather DPS to the point that people are dying and they're running out of MP instead of healing should probably play DPS classes instead. I know its probably a little snotty of me, but my ballad is for emergencies and long, drawn out fights. Not for WHMs who don't know how to manage their MP, and would rather blow it all while playing at being a DPS. I tend to not play it for them unless they legitimately need it to keep going. More MP to cast holy more is not a legitimate need. And you should see some of the tantrums I've been on the receiving end of for saying that. This is just one of many.