Ridiculous 2.0 Expectations: Gamescom update

Grass will also be more 3D than actual reality. It will supersede all known dimensions of reality and breech 7th and 8th dimensions. Just looking at 2.0's grass will cause your brain to malfunction after its pitiful attempt to process the information.

An additional function of the brain upload will allow you to play FFXIV in your dreams and in your daydreams. So even when you sleep or sit around (even in game), you can be elsewhere in game, still leveling or doing quests.

There will also be arcades, theaters, and libraries within Eorzea where you can go and take in other real world media without having to leave Eorzea for the real world.

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Originally Posted by Punainen

There will also be arcades, theaters, and libraries within Eorzea where you can go and take in other real world media without having to leave Eorzea for the real world.

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My sources tell me that this feature will allow you to access a Sims-like minigame providing you access to a photorealistic game incarnation of your real-life self that you can feed, send to the bathroom, and instruct to play FFXIV on the virtual PC in its virtual house. Future updates may allow you to bathe your simulated self or send it outside into the sunlight for short periods of time, but devs aren't 100% sure those features will be possible to implement.

It will also have a storyline so deep, that quoting even one sentence of its dialogue to all real life world leaders would end all wars forever and the world will become one big united country of complete agreement. It may also cause those who are more particularly touched by the story to me immediately raptured into heaven.

Also, there are FFXIV servers in heaven as well, so you don't have to stop playing when and if this happens.

1. Check Version Updates will no longer be required as the game will never need updates. (All game updates will be finished with the release of ARR, and when new content is desired, it will automatically be present the next time a person logs in)

2. Anyone who spots RMT activity will be rewarded with all the Gil the RMT have farmed. In addition, the people who are behind the RMT activities will be required to do all farming for that individual player.

3. There will be a Real Life PvP event for those players who wish to participate. (Players will be given replica gear from their in-game characters to utilize during the RL PvP events.)

The grass will be so real that botanists will have to cut it at least twice weekly in game to prevent it from encroaching into your entire field of view and, eventually, off the screen and into your home.

In addition to the Meteor Survivor T-shirt and other amazing memorabilia, a live moogle, snurble, or chocobo will be delivered to your house. This pet will be immortal, meaning it doesn't need to eat and thus never need to soil your carpet. If you decide you want to see it eat for cuteness factor, it will eat anything you give it and metabolize it instantly. If you decide you are not satisfied with just one of these pets, you are entitled to more.

SE has been breeding these special creatures since Final Fantasy III, having forseen this occasion.

Having perfected re-animation technology back in 2007, Square-Enix revived J.R.R. Tolkien and he's been hard at work on the main scenario quests for the past 5 years.

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Originally Posted by AngelicBeing

[*]A Deathclaw was revealed in the concept art; a reccurring monster in the FF series. That was a very subtle hint at the ludicrous amount of FF nostalgia that will be added in 2.0. As already suggested by Yoshi-P, FFXIV incarnations of other FF worlds will make their way into the game. All of them. Atomos will teleport you to alternate versions of any FF world, each housing a full-scale recreation, including every main character, monster, and NPC exactly where they appear in the original game. A mission line will accompany every world, allowing you to relive every moment from every game, in FFXIV form. Keep in mind that, as originally reported by BboiiShadow and confirmed to be true, there will be optional 8bit graphics for some of these worlds, and 16bit as well.

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As the Deathclaw is also common to the Fallout series, three of the worlds you can visit will be recreations of Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas, and the Fallout MMO (confirmed to be a development build more advanced than closed beta testers will receive access to, combined with earlier access when the game is officially released).

Hilibrand will be made a playable character. The player will play Hildibrand and your character will become a NPC. Your character becoming a NPC is a permanent change and the next time you log out, you will be forced to uninstall FFXIV and install Inspector Hildebrand: Mystery of the Dandy Caper.

This game will be rated M for mature and banned in 15 countries including the US. Gameplay will be a whole 30 minutes long.

That was the best FFXIV troll ever. (Because it included grass jokes).