Thread: Ridiculous 2.0 Expectations: Gamescom update

Hot off the presses! Or whatever other ancient technology is still used to distribute news. If you haven't seen the original thread, it's right here: http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...2.0-expections
Bear in mind that everything posted in that thread turned out to be 100% true.

Originally Posted by Alerith

Scientific facts and experiments support all these claims.

See? So here's the new stuff.

• 2.0 will be available in every language currently spoken on Earth, and also Esperanto, Klingon, and Elvish. A-list celebrity actors will provide voice-overs in every language. Languages from other planets will be added in future updates, provided those planets can supply actors that meet SE's high standard for acting quality.
• "Meteor Survivor" t-shirts will be mailed to all Legacy members, free of charge. Also, due to the overwhelmingly positive response to the RSE concept art, a crisp new set of your character's RSE will be sent along with your t-shirt. If you cannot fit into your RSE clothes due to your human body not matching your character's proportions, adjustments will be made. To your body, not the clothes.
• The grass shown in the Gamescom demo was only there as a placeholder. In 2.0, each individual blade of grass will have a fully 3D model comprised of 534 polygons and 198 points of articulation. Also, because you can upload your brain to the server, each blade of grass can also be touched, smelled, and tasted. Oddly enough, each individual piece of grass will have a unique taste. An achievement for tasting every single blade of grass in the game will be added in a future update.
• On a related note, all of the graphics shown at Gamescom were on the lowest possible settings. When set to the highest settings, the graphics in 2.0 are so amazing they cannot be captured on camera. Thanks to the amazing technology used to craft 2.0's graphics, and support for multiple platforms, it will be playable on ANY computer, PS3 and PS2, iPad and iPhones, PSP Vita and PSP, XBox360 and the original XBox, 3DS, DS, and Gameboy Advance. The demo at Gamescom was the GBA version. There will be no limitations, either. They learned their lesson with FFXI.
• A Deathclaw was revealed in the concept art; a reccurring monster in the FF series. That was a very subtle hint at the ludicrous amount of FF nostalgia that will be added in 2.0. As already suggested by Yoshi-P, FFXIV incarnations of other FF worlds will make their way into the game. All of them. Atomos will teleport you to alternate versions of any FF world, each housing a full-scale recreation, including every main character, monster, and NPC exactly where they appear in the original game. A mission line will accompany every world, allowing you to relive every moment from every game, in FFXIV form. Keep in mind that, as originally reported by BboiiShadow and confirmed to be true, there will be optional 8bit graphics for some of these worlds, and 16bit as well.
• Regarding latency concerns, there will be no latency in 2.0. You will see everything 3 seconds before it actually happened, regardless of region.
• Edit: Oops! Almost forgot this. The advertising campaign for 2.0 will be unprecedented. Just before 2.0's launch, every night at 7:00pm in every region, HD trailers will be broadcast with a long-range projector onto the face of the moon.

Feel free to add to the list, I'm sure with all the interviews and articles coming out, there has to be a lot of news I missed.

A incredibly high powered fan will be mailed in addition to the Meteor Survivor T-shirt that blows a blast of air in your face everytime you jump with your chocobos and the wings flap.

FFXIV will sync together with the power grid of your house causing the lights to dim and brighten as the day progresses into night and visa versa in the game.

Originally Posted by AngelicBeing

[*]On a related note, all of the graphics shown at Gamescom were on the lowest possible settings. When set to the highest settings, the graphics in 2.0 are so amazing they cannot be captured on camera. Thanks to the amazing technology used to craft 2.0's graphics, and support for multiple platforms, it will be playable on ANY computer, PS3 and PS2, iPad and iPhones, PSP Vita and PSP, XBox360 and the original XBox, 3DS, DS, and Gameboy Advance. The demo at Gamescom was the GBA version. There will be no limitations, either. They learned their lesson with FFXI.

I played the beta on this computer, and the 3-D graphics were so lifelike and amazing that my girlfriend dumped me and started dating an Elezen.

Stupid Elezen.

FFXIV: ARR will be officially recognized globally as a mandatory public hobby... henceforth you will only work 3 days a week, with the other 2 days spent in-game assisting your work colleagues (ahem) I mean, "alternative" linkshell members.

All office desktops and laptops connected to the network will be automatically logged into Eorzea on Thursdays and Fridays. Performing office related tasks during these periods rather than playing will be extremely harmful to your career... your boss will likely be that new player that needed your help on Van Baelsar (easy mode)

Once the Miner "ladies of the evening" are saved they will be projected from your monitor into 3d 1.1 human Scale images comprised of enviormental matter thus becoming physical incarnations. Please have your Gil ready to deposit. The excitement will be virtually unbeliveable.

That was my semi...perverted addition. Also another good chuckle thread op ^^