You just need to enter the house.
Some people say it's better to interact with something to help prevent this bug from happening but there's 0 evidence of that being true or not.
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Creating a topic about this in the general forum isn't going to help you in any way.
If you're right and it's a bug, you should be posting this in the bug report forum or just emailing SE.
If you're wrong and just got confused about the auto demolition timer, nobody will do anything.
Only things posting here will get you are people redirecting you to where you should be posting/contacting or accuse you of being a liar not telling the whole story etc because XIV's team and CS can do no wrong ever.
It should be enough to enter, and it usually is.
I have seen reports here on the forums saying that you sometimes need to interact with something inside the house to actually have the demolition timer reset. If that ever happens, it is a bug.
Personally I have never encountered that bug (if it even exists.) For me, just entering the house has always been enough.
They could show you the timer in the timer menu, that way people could make sure their timer is ok.
Regardless of where any notion of blame lies, I'm sorry for you loss, OP; I know from experience that it's frustrating to unexpectedly lose something.
In case it helps anyone in this thread, I've received an auto-demo notice in the past few weeks, and can detail how the system currently works. I received an email with a demolition notice. I logged in, walked into my house, and the instant my interior loaded an in-game pop-up message informed me that my house was no longer scheduled for demolition. Tenants do not get emails, as evidenced by the fact that my spouse didn't get one.
So that's how the system generally works. Can't say if there are any bugs or edge cases, which is always possible. But others have pointed out that if OP wasn't the actual owner and was merely a tenant, they wouldn't have been proactively informed about demolition nor would their presence have reset the timer.
My house got demolished a while back with no warning. I was surprised about it but I'm willing to accept that 45 days had run by without me noticing. However, I made sure to comb through my email, even the spam folder, and found absolutely nothing. I found out because it no longer appeared on my teleport list, completely out of the blue.
Seriously regardless of any emails, supposed not warnings and surprises, if you had a house for 45 days and you not even a single time entered on it, i'm sorry but you didn't 't deserve a house
You guys claim you loved it so much but seriously we're talking an entire month without entering
It just feels people want a house more because it's ultra limited at the moment rather than actually use it
I'm sure that this varies from person to person, but in my experience houses generally function as social spaces. You decorate your house in a manner that creates the ambience you want, and when you finish you have a nice place to hang out with your friends.
But when there are content lulls (like there is right now) and your friends take a break, you can end up with nobody to invite over. At which point there's not much activity to be done in your home until your friends return. But when they do, your home will once again serve its purpose.
I understand how you feel, since housing is so limited, however without knowing someone's personal circumstances that really sounds rather harsh. You never know if they were seriously ill, or if there was a serious environmental issue - having been through some serious storms where I had no power for several weeks (albeit that was truly exceptional). I can imagine how I could accidentally lose mine.