yeah thanks i just figured it out. been a while since i adjusted my hud.
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You can get more gear by using another save slot (starts with the gear you had in your last save of the other slot) or by resetting the progress of the slot you can't move on with. For example, you can start a matched party save slot (random people), get to floor 20, be unable to progress as a matched party, start a fixed party as a solo player, finish floor 10 as solo after getting a few weapon/armor upgrades, go back to matched party mode on the other save slot. You could also use both slots for matched party play, a good idea if you like to swap jobs often.
Someone said you need 12/12 to enter floor 41 as a matched party so my guess is 3/3 for floor 11, 6/6 for floor 21 and 9/9 for floor 31. I haven't confirmed it in game.
When you start from level 1 again you can only upgrade your gear to a certain level. For example, if you had 11/10 stats and had to reset, you won't get any upgrades from the first few floors. Could even be that you have to get to the 11-20 bracket before upgrades begin to work.
EDIT: I would also like to know if you can get more than 1 weapon and if so how it's done in practice.
Anyone managed to get aether arm level +30 yet?
If try to get a psychical weapon does this reset your Aether arm and armor level? (ie so you can get a second weapon)