Hey now, anyone can notice if someone uses quelling or elusive jump, the buff shows in the party list :P enmity is not a bad way to check if you're sure the person didn't use either skill.
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The best way to do it is by dropping bits of info about how their rotation works. Not too aggressive, since people need to be willing to learn.
Why? Don't get me wrong, parsing is a good tool to use. But showing someone parse logs as first thing is the worst possible way to help someone. People might not know how to read parse logs or it might be an information overload. Dropping small hints will be much better. If they ask for more help, you can delve into it with more information and possibly parses.