The reason it's difficult to blist some of them is due to the fact that some of us have genuinely gotten along and they've helped me a lot. There's a guilt factor to it because of this. Getting along with someone wonderfully and then having them act inappropriately towards you is difficult to handle, it feels surreal almost, you sit and wonder if this person really just said these nasty things to you. It's hard to take action when you want to remain friends with some of these people but feel unsure if they'll speak to you in such a way again. I hope you can better understand now that I explained it better.
Also, I normally don't tell people my gender at all, I let them assume. S,o I don't really flaunt my gamer girl status around as you think I do.