Now I've seen it all...someone offended for offering to help them?

[Nanga]

Upon noticing a BLM was wearing level 30 gear in AK, I asked if it was their first time there. They did not answer, and I asked again...to which they said yes. So, I asked if they had watched videos on the bosses, or read anything.

...no answer.

Now see, my intention was to merely offer assistance in explaining bosses before pulling them, because I've noticed how tanks are just pulling them without checking first. I thought this was the polite thing to do, you know? See if someone needed help, so they wouldn't be a liability to themselves or others.

Well, we end up dying on the way to 1st boss because of an accidental tank overpull of trash. The person we offered to help with explaining things snarks off, "Do you know the trash here?" And then immediately leaves...

I've seen people leave after finding out people were new. I've seen people leave after wiping once on the first boss. I've even seen people leave because of others watching the cutscenes. But up until today, I'd never seen someone leave after getting offended over an offer to help them.

/sigh

I hope toxic players like these all disappear soon.

[Raniont]

In all honesty the guy probably thought he was about to get attacked for being new. It took me a few tries into AK before I got a group that wasn't just expecting to speed run and blow through it. At one point I had a group where I told them I was new (my second attempt in, first attempt was really bad) and they all flipped out at me for being new to the instance. While your intention was good, it probably came across wrong. I also hope the toxic players disappear, then maybe the people that are new to an instance wont feel like they are going to be attacked for being new.

[ReiszRie]

Upon noticing a BLM was wearing level 30 gear in AK, I asked if it was their first time there. They did not answer, and I asked again...to which they said yes. So, I asked if they had watched videos on the bosses, or read anything.

...no answer.

Now see, my intention was to merely offer assistance in explaining bosses before pulling them, because I've noticed how tanks are just pulling them without checking first. I thought this was the polite thing to do, you know? See if someone needed help, so they wouldn't be a liability to themselves or others.

Well, we end up dying on the way to 1st boss because of an accidental tank overpull of trash. The person we offered to help with explaining things snarks off, "Do you know the trash here?" And then immediately leaves...

I've seen people leave after finding out people were new. I've seen people leave after wiping once on the first boss. I've even seen people leave because of others watching the cutscenes. But up until today, I'd never seen someone leave after getting offended over an offer to help them.

/sigh

I hope toxic players like these all disappear soon.

My policy is to at least have a run first and only offer advice when the party wipes or gets stuck at a certain part of the dungeon...

[Panthan]

In all honesty the guy probably thought he was about to get attacked for being new. It took me a few tries into AK before I got a group that wasn't just expecting to speed run and blow through it. At one point I had a group where I told them I was new (my second attempt in, first attempt was really bad) and they all flipped out at me for being new to the instance. While your intention was good, it probably came across wrong. I also hope the toxic players disappear, then maybe the people that are new to an instance wont feel like they are going to be attacked for being new.

in ~15 years of mmos Ive rarely seen people getting attacked for being new, most of the time when they do get some hostility is because they've been a Dbag toward the group. Most people dont mind new people, but its all in how you present yourself.

[rabbitzero]

The one time i ran Sunken Temple the first time, we wiped on first boss. They ask i'm new, then when i say yes, one of them rages at me for not knowing tactics. Don't explain the tactics, just rage at me. We retry, i die last, the rager didn't even enter the room before it sealed. Next run he explains the tactics (wrong i find out later, heh), i am always last to die. This was during the first week no less.

My point is, perhaps he ran with people like that, or you are not really saying everything here. I've also heard "leet players" tell people to never take anything in quest rewards other than the tokens for money (which it seems there is currently an exploit with, them and another item, notice how they are for sale on the market for much more than they vendor for?).

[SpiritedMare]

To be fair, Nanga, you didn't actually offer to help. You stated in your post that you intended to offer help, but all you actually verbalized to the person in question was interest in their experience and gear.

Doesn't sound like they were offended because you were offering help, it sounds like they were offended because they felt like they were getting the third degree.

[Dorin]

To be fair, Nanga, you didn't actually offer to help. You stated in your post that you intended to offer help, but all you actually verbalized to the person in question was interest in their experience and gear.

Doesn't sound like they were offended because you were offering help, it sounds like they were offended because they felt like they were getting the third degree.

Exactly this.

Would've been different if you typed something like "Hey man are you new? If you are I can explain you how bosses work, if you want ".

Bear in mind that people can't see your non-verbal language through the internet, so interpreting someone's intentions only by text can prove to be hard sometimes.

[Govalon]

in ~15 years of mmos Ive rarely seen people getting attacked for being new, most of the time when they do get some hostility is because they've been a Dbag toward the group. Most people dont mind new people, but its all in how you present yourself.

Yep, a lot of times it is the new player who is hostile. I once was in AK with THREE new players at the same time. They were all badly geared with level 29 rings and and bad weapons. I knew we would not make it but I decided to give them some advice and go to the wall with them so they can see what it is like and what they need to do. I tried to be polite about their gear. I told them that they are not properly geared and we would not make past the wall but lets go there to give it a shot and learn mechanics and they all started to call me a douchebag and elitist.

I know lot of experienced player are rude too. Just yesterday I was DFing Ak and we had a pretty geared group, atleast me and the other DPS were geared so I knew we probably would have pretty quick run. Tank was new and he had a a bit problems holding hate but that migh not have been his skill but his gear. This other DPS when starts to call him the worst tank ever and calling him names. I tried to tell him to give constructive critisism but I jsut get bashing the tank. We did fine in the end and beat the dungeon in he end even though the tank angled last the boss really bad and tail whipped as a lot. I felt bad for our tank since because we had this one guy bashing him all the time :/

[Dano]

I usually ask if anyone's new and proceed to give them a brief explanation on the dungeon mechanics. Since I'm a tank i usually take initiative to make sure everyone is on same page, as long as party members are willing to learn and listen it's no big deal for me.

[Macka]

After you giving me the Third about my gear and we wiped on trash accident or not. I wouldve left your ass too.