Ah another good experience (Sarcasm intended)

[Caraway]

You volunteered to leave, and you're upset because they didn't beg you to stay or thank you for it? Jesus, people on this forum need to man up.

It isn't unreasonable to think you should be given a "Thanks, see ya!" for offering to leave. You also shouldn't get kicked if you're offering. That's just plain rude.

And really that's what it all comes down to with this game: people are rude. There is a very large portion of this game's community who don't see other players as people. They see them as disposable NPCs they can curse at if they don't behave in a particular way, aren't geared a particular way.

It's not just this game, but this one does seem to have a huge amount of people who just don't care about you unless you can advance them the way they want to be advanced. It also doesn't help that a number of this game's mechanics encourage this sort of behavior in the NA/EU groups (from what I've heard, the JP players are much more polite, likely due to being in a general more traditionally polite culture I suspect).

FATEs encourage people to only care about pounding on a mob. Healing someone isn't important really, not when there's three other potential tanks to grab aggro in case one dies and you get glanced at. Just let them die, they can resurrect and run back, right? I've seen tanks die at healer's feet in FATE groups. Because FATEs don't care if you've healed someone, they only care how much damage you've contributed or how many items you've handed to the NPC.

The duty finder groups you with people on other servers more frequently than your own server (just by a law of averages) but there's no way to communicate with those people outside of the forums or The Lodestone after the run. So there's no incentive to work with people, to respect them and their role in the group. There's no way to block someone you had a bad encounter with if they're from another server so there's even a chance you might end up being stuck in a group with them.

Of course, there are exceptions that show that it's not exactly the tools' fault for people being shitty within them. But that's the case of it. We're in a culture where you don't have to care about the other person on the other side. It's okay to make fun of them, and if they complain in a public forum they get told to 'man up' or 'suck it up, it is the internet.' Well that's not good enough. These are people we're all playing with and everyone deserves to be treated well.

I personally will always try to communicate with someone. Whenever I join a dungeon through the duty finder I say hello, introduce myself to people. If I haven't done a dungeon I'll say something to that effect and give an upfront apology for if I end up screwing something up. And then I'll apologize when/if I do mess up (because I'm not perfect, and I do make mistakes after all). If I have run a dungeon and I'm with someone who hasn't, I'll explain strategies to them, walk them through things and then ask to make sure they understood or if they need a recap. When tanking I make sure to mark my targets.

I try to be a good player at all times, and try to make sure that anytime someone having an interaction with me will see me, and by extension my free company, in a good light. It just seems the way to do things but it doesn't seem to be shared by the majority.

I've been pretty lucky so far though in that most of my Duty Finder runs have been with pretty good people. There've been a couple of struggles but mostly nothing I couldn't work through with communication. Sometimes communication's hard too; people on PS3 without keyboards obviously can't communicate as effectively so I keep that in mind and don't get upset when people don't talk much.

Today though I had my first encounter where I actually left a Duty Finder group.

I primarily play tank, and do my best to follow the behaviours I set above. When I do dungeons I'm always grouped with my FC co-leader who plays a DPS role in this game. So we get dungeons pretty much instantaneously. We arrived in Cutter's Cry (this is our first time doing it, and indicate as much) with a SMN and a SCH (which I assume was two boxed based on the naming and the way they moved/talked). So we start to go through, and I mark my targets before I pull. The SMN/SCH are rushing ahead of me on each pull where I'm barely able to mark in time before they aggro on proximity. When I do get to pull, I have to make sure I pull perfectly and hit the right sequence of hate on the groups of mobs because on engage they're both dropping all of their dots onto each target without giving enough time to establish aggro on the group (and of course, because I'm not perfect I slipped up once or twice and didn't get my distances right so a mob would slip past me now and then). So of course, I'm having to spam my AE hate abilities to make sure that the (numbered) mobs aren't being peeled away. As we're in an encounter, the SCH is more concerned with ensuring their dots are than keeping me healed.

I understand as a WAR I'm a bit more squishy than a PLD. I do try to mitigate that by using my cooldowns and self-heals, but as every WAR knows your self-heals only go so far when you're being pounded by three+ mobs in a group. So I understand I'm a bit tough to keep healed (I do try to keep my gear up to date as possible, and during this run I was wearing HQ Heavy Steel and jewelry +-2 levels away from my own) and because of it I suspect healers have to keep a pretty close eye. I very frequently dipped near to death during trash engagements and had to use my own panic heals and pots.

So we make it through the trash and eventually get to the first boss which goes down pretty easily without much fuss. Then we get to the oasis groupings with the optional chests and mobs. Each one of these the other pair would tear ahead of us and draw aggro. Or rush forward to open the chests. They would run through the portal as soon as the mobs were killed regardless of where myself or my companion were (we always wait to make sure everyone's nearby before going through a portal). One point I actually had a Sabotender on me when they ran through a portal, leaving myself and the BRD to handle the mob.

Throughout the dungeon I try to explain that I can't immediately snap aggro and keep it consistently if they're hitting everything at once. That if they follow the marks we can burn through each quickly and make it out fast. That if I have to spam my AE threat I will run out of TP and it's more likely that something will run after them and attack them while I can't pull it off. I try to work with them trying to speed things up (I generally take my time going through a dungeon, and chat with people as we do it) and get to the next waves faster. The only response I get is "You should be able to keep aggro, I have a 50 WAR."

At this point I get to the end of my frustration. I leave the dungeon along with my friend.

Could I have possibly performed better? Perhaps. But this didn't come up until after I'd tried to work with them to get a pace all four of us could enjoy (three if they were two-boxed), to see if we could all work together instead of running willy-nilly and skipping content (which I personally hate but that's another rant).

But I got fed up because this other person(people) wanted me to play as they expected me to play, and not how I actually do. They wouldn't work with me and instead worked against me while I was willing to communicate and all I received back was a snide comment.

I'd like to think I'm a pretty good WAR. Once I know the strategies to a run I tend to get the group through at a good clip and without issues. What I don't appreciate though is being told I'm not doing a good enough job because I don't conform to the way they think I should be.

To validate myself, we of course went back later and were able to run the rest of the dungeon successfully (there were a couple of slip ups while we all learned Chimera because it was new to the whole group going in) and then again later on doing it a second complete time without a single boss failure.

To sum up; people need to remember they're working with other people in an MMO. Be friendly, communicate, work with each other instead of assuming and work against each other.

And SE needs to put enhanced systems in place so we can properly treat the caustic portions of this community; shunning them entirely.

[AnkoYaoi]

You volunteered to leave, and you're upset because they didn't beg you to stay or thank you for it? Jesus, people on this forum need to man up.

You obviously didn't read clearly so let me dumb it down.

They kicked me out before I could even SAY anything about leaving. They just kicked me and it was over. I never even got to say anything. Not even a bye or thanks and I am not upset. I was greatly surprised (Which I also said if you actually read the post clearly, but obviously, you didn't).

EDIT: Typos are fun.

[Soulscare]

You obviously didn't read clearly so let me dumb it down.

They kicked me out before I could even SAY anything about leaving. They just kicked me and it was over. I never even got to say anything. Not even a bye or thanks and I am not upset. I was greatly surprised (Which I also said if you actually read the post clearly, but obviously, you didn't).

EDIT: Typos are fun.

I read your entire post...

I came to the conclusion of volunteering to leave to make room (Don't stay somewhere where people don't want you around right?).

Perhaps you meant something else, but that made it sound as if you said to them you would leave.

[Pooky]

Honestly, while people's behaviour online really sucks, this is quite mild and you really should develop a thicker skin for online play nowadays. Common decency would make you assume people will say TY and Good job and all after a successful run, but I've come to accept that as long as a group doesn't outright berate people and starting cursing at everyone, its a pretty decent group. Getting upset that they didn't say TY for the group is a little silly, imo.

Its definitely rude that they kicked you without saying anything, but oh well. Such is life with anonymous humans online nowadays. At least they let you finish the run.

[jcw005]

Weighing the options: 1) -3 minutes to Castrum run vs. 2) +10 to Douchebaggery. It's sad how many people choose #2...

[Vonleo]

get thicker skin please i have seen worse and have worse done to me without coming onto the forums to complain....

[Hayward]

get thicker skin please i have seen worse and have worse done to me without coming onto the forums to complain....

Nice to see sociopaths like you enabling idiots on a game. Maybe a remedial course in Human Decency is in order?

[Marael]

my experience with this game as a whole is that NO ONE is very talkative. Duty Finder groups just grind through things without saying a word to each other. No one speaks up in fate parties except to complain about not getting healed or to say which fate we're headed to next. I've been through three FCs with over 100 active members in them, and most of the time, no one is talking in them. Even when we set up FC instances people rarely say anything to one another. I think it's the whole solo mentality of the game mechanics. You can go through the entire game without having to speak to another living person except on a few instanced areas, and so no one really communicates or talks to one another. It's a single player game that is, for some reason, online. So yeah, I've had a lot of people not saying anything to me whether I was good or bad. It's just the way the community for this particular game seems to roll.

[Ephany]

I've done castrum with you before and you were a perfectly fine dps in my opinion.
However, people on our server (possibly others) have a habbit of not talking much which is probably why nobody said anything before you were kicked from the group. I've been in many groups that rotate players after every run with nothing being said in between.
There have also been groups that remain static and chat away making jokes and conversation between and during runs.

Don't let it get you down.

[Lstkaws]

I cant believe people even have high requirements for CM. That thing is absurdly easy, I spirit bond gear in there. No one ever complains and we do just fine.