Yeap, we're all suffering. It's already documented that the PS3 has obvious limitations but for whatever reason, the priority of loading up things around you doesn't seem to be placed upon the enemy and people in your party.

One way to do fates on PS3 is to remember where mobs spawn or pro tip here: see where other people are attacking 'something' (enemies you cannot see) and try to use whatever AOE spells you have. I levelled a WAR too and what I did was attack an unrelated mob to the FATE and dragged it around to use Overpower. You will end up tagging invisible mobs belonging to the FATE and get your EXP.

As for turn ins, you roughly need to be standing next to the NPC and wait around 6-10 seconds for it to load up. To do this, you have to either remember where the turn-in NPC is or watch where everyone is going to turn in their things for the FATE.