This is pretty much a rant, but hopefully people can take a lesson from this and may someone else can avoid such frustration due to other peoples selfishness.
Today I was rather dismayed when a FATE of a dozen people, complete with no less than 3 conjurers full-wiped against a minor FATE boss. My immediate impression was that none of the healers had actually healed anyone but had instead opted to just mash stone - however i let it slide, in particular as I'm not certain that any of the guys there was a tank so healing through might've not been viable. We came back after respawning - and this time I had a good overview of who we had in this attempt.
x2 Gladiators
x3 Conjurers
x2 Archers
x1 Lancer
With a team like this it should be entirely possible to take down a primal, not least a level 28 FATE boss (Couerlclaw King). With the recent defeat fresh in mind - I pointed out to them in chat "Don't forget to drop some heals on the tank this time".
We pulled... the tank's hitpoint started going down... and down... and down.
Then he died.
The second gladiator takes the lead - his hitpoints slowly start going down. At this point I point out "guys, heal the tank?". So the conjurers all cast cure simultaneously and pop his health back to fu- no, wait no they don't they just sit there mashing Stone II. He dies. Next in line on the threat table is me, being one of the archers; I do my best to featherfoot, kite, heal and have my pet chocobo keep me up but then the next wave of ranged adds appear and they all focus fire on me too and I go down fairly fast to a hail of arrows... then the next archer in is line, then the lancer and before you know it it's down to 3 conjurers who're now running in circles mashing heals on themselves wondering how it'd be nice if they had a tank or DPS to finish the boss right about now.
Confused by this display I ask aloud "Gu8ys, why did none of you heal the tank.. or anyone for that matter" - Whereupon I got the most blindly stupifying response possible: "You don't need a healer for FATE's, you guys just gotta L2P. We gotta DPS or we don't get credit". No matter how much the tanks L2P, there is no way they could've tanked through that boss fight without supplemental heals (Given we were not a zergling raid that could flatten the boss before he gets off a hit). If the raid wipes, then nobody gets credit. What good is spamming stone for credit if everyone winds up dead?
Ultimately, the FATE timed out and was declared a failure - a permanent mark of shame on the record
tl;dr.
Don't spam stone, cast cure on people other than yourself now and then too.