Sounds strange.

However, as you're playing on the PS3 with people playing on the PC, there could be a bug i guess.

Have you tried contacting support, or posted in the bug forum? Posting in the right forum could get you the help you need a bit faster, or at least that's how it should be.

Oh and finally. Check the labels on the gear. If any red text is on it, that means you can't use it thus there'll be no active need button. Not saying you don't already know it, but just incase