Today I was a Crappy Tank : An Everyday MMO Saga and Plea for Pleasantry

[Kahri]

tl,dr - Can't we all just Get Along?

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Today (roughly half a day ago now) I was a crappy tank.

I had a lvl 28 Aetherial axe drop in the previous run, I looked in my armory box, saw a pink axe with the name 'Aetherial', equipped it and thought I was (ready!) to go.

Turns out that pink axe was a level 15 axe I'd left in there from way back when, and the level 28 axe had gone into my inventory.

End result : when it got to the point in the Haukke Manor run where you face the eye & skelly bosses we died on multiple attempts as I couldn't hold the hate of the two mobs together. After a few failed attemts the healer declares she's not a tank and drops party. The archer drops a "you're a crappy tank FFS KEEP HATE!" bomb (maybe not exactly phrased that way) on the way out of also dropping party. I apologise to the remaining dps for the way things turned out and we drop party together.

(Side note : I had already beaten Haukke, however, unless I think I have a good grasp on a dungeon I like to keep repeating it until I think I've got it.)

Now, I'm not going to go into what I thought were the deficiencies of the other's play styles.

Not relevant.

I was a crappy tank in that party and the way the rest of the party worked together probably flowed on from that.

I should've been paying more attention to what I was equipping.

Mea Culpa.

.....

However ..... I would like to take a moment to contemplate my next run - wherein I had recognised my axe was crap and fixed it - aaaaand we got a crappy dps.

By crappy, I mean a monk wearing a cowl who couldn't speak English or use auto-translate and seemed intent on speed running us through Haukke by 'Leroying' and effectively being a wannabe tank. Couldn't do anything with him simply because we couldn't communicate to him.

(Side note : love that 'Leroying' has become a MMO verb ;D)

Before we got to those same two bosses I had already said to the other English speaking members "I don't know if I can handle this. It's been a loooong day." But they wanted to keep trying, so we stuck at it. Wiped 2 or 3 times on the end zombie boss. It took those first couple of attempts for that monk to realise he had to do something with the lamps while I worked the boss lady, and help with the adds not just concentrate on the boss lady. We English speaking players decided together to give it one last go. By now the incommunicable monk had learned about the extra things to do. We won. We were all relieved and happy. The end (of that chapter of my tale).

Now compare the two incidents.

On the one hand you have people who drop party and drop the "YOU'RE CRAP" bomb before they do. On the other you have a party that keeps trying despite it's deficiencies, learns in the process, and makes it through to the end. Who really won here? And I'm not referring to just reaching the end of the dungeon - I'm referring to having worked together to get over the hurdles in our way.

You know - playing a 'multiplayer' game....?

I can understand the frustration of the first party. I can understand people being unable to cope because they're tired. But the point is that when we drop blame bombs and/or drop party with such negativity, no one wins.

None of us are perfect all of the time. Every single one of us is going to have a instance where we are a Crappy {name the class/job}. We learn from our mistakes, etcetera. (Except for narcissistic types - they don't make mistakes ).

What will stand out in the end once all is said and done is not simply whether we reach end game - it's the positive experiences we have on the way and the relationships we form while doing so.

Negativity/blame bombs/ditching helps no one and makes engaging the game world distasteful.

This also flows on to the forums.

The pointing of the fingers, the declarations of 'this dungeon is where you sort the people who can play from those who can't', the declarations of 'if they don't play my way, I'm gone'.

I'll admit to possibly having done it myself on occasion, when frustration gets the better of me.

The point I'm trying to make is - these kinds of attitudes kind of miss the point of playing an MMO.

Possibly the frustrations of the servers fiasco is also getting us down.

None of us are perfect (except for the aforementioned narcissistic types, but let's ignore them and consider the majority for the purpose of this post).

So, if they happen to read this, I apologise to those who partied with me through the Haukke run in which I was a majorly crappy tank. The char I was using was Lotsutsu Lotsu. You know who you are.

For my part, I accept that on this one occasion I was, indeed, a crappy tank. Mea Culpa. I'm moving on. I'll endeavor not make the same mistake again. If I do, then I'll lay my char out in the middle of a beastman camp for an entire Eorzean day as punishment.

To end my tale I make this plea to all my FFXIV ARR peeps : can't we all be a little more civil and pleasant and, you know, play together...?

[Kyriea]

I agree but there'll always be internet trolls whose only means of playing is to insult others so even if you don't do much wrong they'll seize the opportunity to put you down. Unfortunately with any popular game they'll be there and the only way to not attract them is to make it difficult to play. FFXI did this really well because you had to be somewhat committed to reach level 30 let alone cap, but XIV is targeted towards the new MMO player meaning anyone will reach the cap fairly quickly. There are still a lot of people who are friendly and nice, and it's definitely a vast minority of people who are abusive but that minority is still noticeable.

[Sebazy]

Indeed, you'll always get trolls, and the anonymity that cross server group matching tends to afford only encourages it particularly when content is still challenging.

One brayflox group I had stands out in memory, the tank was particularly had work but we made it through the bosses gradually, eventually we had the dragon going down with minutes remaining when one of the DPS decided he shouldn't get through it and so sat at the side of the room with literally a minute to go and 2 bars on the LB, our other DPS was an archer and thus we ran out of time with literally a percent or two left on the boss. Heres hoping I don't see him in a duty again

[Panthan]

In general I dont really care if someone is good or bad, the only thing I expect is people to atleast try. In groups where we end up hitting a wall I rather try to figure out what we can do to improve instead of playing the blame game.
I dont gain anything by being an ass when someone(s) isnt performing as they should. Using some small icebreaker comments seem to work wonders that and a smile and a good mood. Ofcourse its not foolproof but atleast it keeps me happy.
Im delighted to see the OP being open about her mistake and I think she's right,it doesnt matter who's to blame, its better to work out a sollution then being an ass.

[Kahri]

Im delighted to see the OP being open about her mistake and I think she's right,it doesnt matter who's to blame, its better to work out a sollution then being an ass.

It can be very difficult thing to take a step back and say 'ok, I was in the wrong'. (Damn my ego! ). But as with everything, practice makes perfect .

[Urbancat]

I agree, positive attitude and try to figure out mistakes is the best way to go, and honestly, the one that civil people should follow.

Of course, this is the internet where there are no consequences when one is rude, which most of the time is taken as a godsend from frustrated people that use this way to channel their impotence in real life.

I am glad to see there is good people, and I agree with Panthan, if you are doing your best and really trying I don't mind wipes, I was a noob, and I am still a noob for places I have yet not tried. And I hope people will be willing to explain me things as I am willing to explain things that I already know, then if we are having a bad day and we wipe, peace, it happens, even the best player in the world have a bad day.

[Panthan]

It can be very difficult thing to take a step back and say 'ok, I was in the wrong'. (Damn my ego! ). But as with everything, practice makes perfect .

If they just tried to find a sollution, even it was to just ask you politely to equip an onpar weapon, the groups would have been successfull and would have felt good about themselves afterwards.
Please dont let a few bad apples spoil the batch. Dont let them change you either ~^

[Namko]

I noticed last night a lot of DPS seem to be in a rush to run Ampdapor Keep. It's gotten to the point where I do a gear check on them and if they are using sub ilvl 50 weapons I know we are not going to kill adds in time in the boss rooms. I don't just leave, but explain to them that they can spam Ifrit to upgrade their weapons, even Castrum for tomestones for DL gear. Those places are a lot more forgiving. I think we have just hit the peak where the majority of players are getting their first jobs to 50 so we are seeing it a lot more. Everyone seems to be understanding, apologetic and thankful for the advice. Overall we have a great community.

[Khaap]

Mistakes happen but in the same respect great fights also happen in those random groups. Me on WHM and a Bard kiting the 2nd boss in Aurum Vale for the last third of its health (I probably should have raised the tank "again" but it seemed like we were going to do it). You don't get those experiences so often in your static groups, sometimes being random and making it harder and having mistakes, because of that brings out the best.

Beats having to shout for a party in Jeuno for hours on end

[Kaliska]

I've had a few bad experience with the duty finder and I agree, it's all down to attitude. Some people just expect people to be perfect players and have no time for people when they need a little advice or encouragement.

One thing I've noticed is that people seem to apologize constantly now, for every little thing that they do wrong. I tend to start my Duty Finder runs by saying that I don't mind wiping and am happy to play/try as long as it takes. I offer advice and encouragement where I can and try to get people talking.

I think everyone should go by the old adage "treat people how you want to be treated". People have off days and make mistakes, that doesn't mean that you should swear at them and attack them personally.