The OP really seems to be playing the wrong game. Should go back to WoW or play another game that is more casual friendly than FFXIV. You should also use a bit of common sense when playing this game. If you played FFXI and camped NMs then you should think that the drop rate will possibly be about the same for NMs on FFXIV. Also, there are going to be a lot of people wanting to fight it, so just give it some time. Go and fight it when the "new" smell has worn off. Yes FFXIV is more casual friendly, but it isn't just for casual players.

As I have gotten older, my needs and wants in an mmo have changed. The time sink that FFXI was, was perfect for me when I was younger. Now that I'm older, my time is more precious to me, that is why I'm playing FFXIV now. If your time is precious, then spend your time in a smart way. Don't spend 2 hours on an NM when there is a possibility that you won't get the drop. I personally, wouldn't call that a waste of 2 hours, but the nature of drops don't really bother me. I'll just try to get the drop next time I feel like spending time on the NM. The fact that I don't have to spend all day camping an NM just so I can fight it, in hopes that I'll get the item that has an extremely low drop rate is a great thing to me. I've fought Leaping Lizzy, Jagged Ear Jack, and the Emperor Fly (w/e you call it). Didn't get the drop from any of them. Then I just started fighting some of the less camped NMs, selling the drops that I got from them for a rather nice profit.

It is all about being smart with your precious game time. If FFXIV isn't casual enough for you, go to a different game. I'm not saying that like an elitist or anything. Just saying that you should be playing a game that is worth your time. You sound like you want a game that isn't FF. I don't think that FFXIV will ever go with just having everything instanced. At least, I hope that they don't. I want some instancing in this game, but not everything. WoW really isn't all that bad of a game, can't stand the graphics, but I see the game's mass appeal. They have the dungeons you're asking for and you're more likely than not to get the drops that you need. Personally WoW was too casual for me. That's why I'm here on FFXIV.