Getting ready for work this morning, browsing a few forums to soothe my raging mind, I had an epiphany:
NA/EU servers are having a great deal of complications.
JP servers are more-or-less running fine.
...why not copy all of the hardware configuration and/or non-text/dialogue from the JP servers to the NA/EU?
Mind = blown.
If you're building two identical vehicles, and one looks slightly off, you'd probably reference the working one rather than scramble to "wing-it" with the busted one, right?
(Note: This is sarcastic displeasure shown through ignorant enlightenment - I understand server fixes aren't that simple, but generally when you have a working model, you can reference that to fix a broken one... That's all I'm really saying)