Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, they were about to send out another tweet saying that they are aware of the issues and explaining why there is not even a queue to wait in, the one hundred billionth person tries to log in, crossing over the hard-coded 9-digit number used to calculate how many people there are, and a firey explosion leapt out from the servers, across the internet into every laptop, cellphone, mimeograph machine and telephone that Square-Enix was trying to use to send any sort of update to their beloved customers who just paid them millions of dollars in the past week.

They have been frantically running around to their neighbors houses trying to use their computers or cellphones to send a tweet, but none of them can remember their passwords, as they were stored in the browsers cookies which were tragically destroyed in the server explosion.

The one solace that NA/EU users can take is that the Japan servers briefly experienced a slight lag disturbance while the office was on fire.